ARRGGHHH!! Venting- In laws (REALLY LONG)

KittahMama

I really really like my in laws.  My MIL is so sweet I don't know how anyone wouldn't love her.  My FIL is Mr. Practical and very good at "dishing it out" but also "taking it"...

My SILs and BILs are fine as well, though one SIL is a bit of a pain.

ANYWAY- we are heading over to visit and leave tonight.  They went and bought a high chair for C to use, which is great and very kind of them... but everything else they have is LITERALLY from when their kids were young.  My DH's younger brother (the baby) is 26.  So they want us to use the same crib from then- which is sort of like an ikea one, very plain, and I don't care about that, but you can see all the screws and whatnot and that doesn't make me feel safe because C is good about jumping up and down and climbing as much as possible in her crib here which is a sturdy wood one!

THey did buy a new crib mattress and bedding but apparently that's because mice ate through the one they had.  Now my DH tells me they have pulled out the "pushchair" aka umbrella stroller from when they are kids from the barn which is infested with mice.  I would rather take my $15 walmart one over.  My DH won't hear of it.  They also have a bouncy chair that his father made years ago that is really just stretched fabric with a strap across it they (being MIL, FIL, and MY DH) insisted she use when we went last November when she was 5 months old.

I realize they kept LITERALLY everything from their kids but how do I deal? I swear I am going to lose my head.  I don't mean go out and buy all new baby stuff for DD to use, but we can make do with her sleeping in bed with us while there and take our own strollers.  But apparently that is "ridiculous"....

I also had to explain to my husband that our daughter will not be riding in their 1960's old drop top car that has no seat belts... I don't care what strap contraption his father used in the damn thing for he and his brother and sisters when they were kids... my daughter is not going in that damn car.  And I DO love that car- we used it in our wedding there, but it isn't safe for an infant.

I swear I may kill him.  His parents had a mini-fit when we told them we were pregnant because "they aren't old enough to be grandparents"... uhm... his mom is 64 and his dad 66 this year.   Seriously- his father goes nuts if you call him grandpa.  They insist my kids call them the Welsh names for grandfather and grandmother because you can't tell that is what they mean.

ANYONE have any ideas on how to keep my sanity (remembering I can't drink any alcohol because I am knocked up!)..

And if his father or sister makes one comment about how big I am pregnant I will rip their heads off.  Last time his sister made a comment about how we "neglect" our daughter.  I wasn't there or I would have opened a can of whoop ass.

Okay, vent done.

tiffyr0se

Well they're obviously excited to use their baby stuff again, I'm sure it makes them feel all nostagalic. You can't fight everything without it causing drama, so I would pick the things that are safety issues (like the car) to say no to, and try to make the best of the other issues... Like make sure they are clean, maybe sit her on something long enough to get a picture, she doesn't need to play in anything long, they just want to see her in it Whatever you do, good luck. Oh and take a pack n play for her to sleep in.

Ttimes3

IMO, these are issues for your DH to deal with. As I see it, if he is unwilling/unable to see your point (regarding safety), THAT is the real issue.

KittahMama

Ttimes3:

IMO, these are issues for your DH to deal with. As I see it, if he is unwilling/unable to see your point (regarding safety), THAT is the real issue.

The nicest thing I can say is my DH is a dumbass.  A loving, sweet, caring dumbass- but none the less. He figures it was good enough for his two sisters, him and his brother- how could it possibly not be fine now??

I convinced him to take our Graco stroller even though its bulky it is good for airports and I guess I will just make excuses to use it instead of their umbrella stroller.  That and DD and I will just accidentally fall asleep in the bed together before he gets upstairs.  Maybe something about new place scaring her or something.

It isn't that he doesn't care about safety- he thinks all this stuff is perfectly safe.  That's the problem.  I swear I may just slap him upside the head and hope it jingles things around enough to make him see he's an idiot.

And I will also fully admit I am not good at expressing to him my dislike of using a 30 year old metal frame crib.  I just get exasperated and can't articulate well why this is just a bad bad bad idea. 

Oh well, I am sure we will make it through next week-the question is will we still be married?

Moesten

I agree that you need to pick which are the big issues and which aren't. Safety is important (obviously) so I wouldn't compromise on the safety things. And I don't care if I upset people when I insist on safety for my kids. So "hurting feelings" would be the last thing on my mind. Hurting my kids outweighs anyone's ruffled feathers, imo.

As far as DH being oblivious about these things, that's a crappy excuse on his part. He needs to get educated and quick before he puts your kids in a risky scenario. You either need to sit down and do some google searches looking at the Consumer Products Safety Commission, the AAP, the Juvenile Products Manufacturing Association or have DH go to the pedi with you and run it by your pedi that you are going to use a 30 year old crib and let DH have that conversation with the doctor.