I think I have PPD...please help me out!

Ardmhs83

Someone please help me, I am calling my doctor today about this.  I am almost 8 months PP and I think I have PP Depression.  I am constantly anxious, I have always been like this, but it got worse w/ pregnancy and PP.  I just have random, constant, racing thoughts.  I just worry about everything.  If my DS is sick, worried my husband may leave me if I don't get better, money and just normal life things.  I always feel I am racing against the clock, gotta get this done, gotta get that done!  I don't really have or make time for myself.  It has gotten so bad that my heart feels like it is pounding and I just can't calm myself down.  It is now starting to affect my sleep.  I have had MAJOR insomnia the last several nights.  I just can't sleep!!!  I lay there and try to relaxe, but thoughts keep racing through my head and my heart is pounding and I can't calm myself to sleep.  So I just lay there....miserable and exhausted.  I can't be a good wife or mom feeling like this.  I have resorted to taking Benadryl the last two nights to knock me out so I could sleep.

I love my son and my husband sooooo much and NEED to get better for myself and the both of them.  I want to be happy again...I can't stand the way I feel anymore!  Another stress that I have is that I am breastfeeding and want to bf for a year, but worried what meds I will be able to take.  I know that a happy mom is for the best no matter what so if the doctor has to give me something that isn't bf compatible then I guess bfing for almost 8 months is better than nothing...right?  God I just want to laugh again, not worry anymore and be able to sleep at night!

Sorry if I have mispellings or grammer errors...I'm crying as I'm typing...

jbrannin

First off...you are not alone. This sounds exactly like something I could have written about 1 month ago. I began to have a lot of anxiety around 7.5 months PP. I was actually thinking just a little while earlier...Wow, I am so glad I havent got any PPD and then Wham! I too was having difficulty sleeping, worried about being a good mom to DS cause I always felt like my thoughts were elsewhere and being a good wife to DH...cause I was short and irritable and crying all the time. I also was a EBF and took pride in the fact that I was continuing to EBF and really wanted to make the 1 yr mark. In a nutshell this is what we did...I decided to speak with a counselor 1st **I highly recomment. They are wonderful  and compassionate and totally validated my feelings and continues to help me sort through all these emotions. 2nd * Called my OB and was put on Lexapro. He gave me the option of Zoloft and continue BF cause the safest or Lexapro *which I took yrs ago with good results. After a huge internal struggle. I decided to go on the Lexapro and stop BF. This was very hard for me. Quitting BF was more emotional and more difficult to do than I ever thought it would be...I knew it was for the best on many different levels. I was uneasy about taking meds and BF and thought that this would add to my anxiety and I am working FT and always rushing out of work to pick him up in time to drive 30 mi home to feed nurse him on schedule as well as carrying a pump with me wherever I go, etc, etc. (I still struggle with this and wonder if I did the right thing) but you have to go with what life throws you and do what is best for you in the moment. Weaning took about 2 weeks and when I started taking the meds....I began to feel like my old self again within 1 week!! It was great to be able to have a unclouded perspective on everything. I am not suggesting you will need to go on medication. This is just what worked in my situation. You really need to take care of yourself first. THis is the ONLY way you will be able to offer the best to your DS. Ultimately this is how I came to my decision. I would start by talking with your OB. I really get some added comfort by speaking with a counselor/therapist. I do recommend this for anyone struggling with this. I know that you have the strength to do what is needed to be the mom and wife your family needs. Please feel free to PM me if you have any other questions. I wish the best for you! Hang in there....it gets better.

Ardmhs83

Thank you ladies!  I did see my doctor yesterday and he put me on Celexa and gave me Ativan to take on occasion for insomnia/high anxiety.  I called my sons pedi and they said both were fine to take while bfing, so I don't have to give that up either!  :-)  Thanks for listening.

sinisterkat01

Glad that you're feeling better.  I had my bout of PPD early after DD was born, but anxiety was always a major component.  :::hugs:::