so where do i meet a man...

kjohn091

SO this miught seem silly, but I dont even know where i can meet a new man.  its been almost a month since my SO and I broke up bc he cheated. he was my first real BF, we were together almopst 9 years and we met when I was 15. Anyway, now I am single and I have never experienced this before. I dont like being alone,having noone to talk to, call to talk about my day, confide in, ect. But I dont even know where to meet a "good" man...? any ideas, any past expereince. I mean I have never even dated before... I feel really confused, scared and lost with all this. 

Thanks!  

All my friends still go out to the bars at night,and that is not where i want to meet anyone and i dont even drink right now anyway. Plus, I think i need someone older than me ( i am 24) someone more responsible, less selfish, and just more mature in general  

Karla76058

My friends have met many of their SO on plenty of fish.  But I have also heard most guys on there are looking for a "hook up".  So perhaps match.com where you have to pay, weeds out a few of the creeps.  But everyone says the internet is great if you can do it.

PrincessFiona9

Uhh...I would recommend taking some time off to be single and focus on relationships with family/friends and your LO. It's only been a month since your 9 year relationship ended. You're on the rebound.

Oilers_Mama

AshleyMichelle06:

Uhh...I would recommend taking some time off to be single and focus on relationships with family/friends and your LO. It's only been a month since your 9 year relationship ended. You're on the rebound.

 

This.

I'm lucky if I have time to throw in a load of laundry let alone start a relationship. I shudder at the thought.

Meliss227

AshleyMichelle06:

Uhh...I would recommend taking some time off to be single and focus on relationships with family/friends and your LO. It's only been a month since your 9 year relationship ended. You're on the rebound.

I agree with this too. Saying you don't like to be alone is usually a good reason to spend that time working on yourself and being with your friends, family and LO instead of searching for someone new.

And just because someone is older than you doesn't mean that they are going to be more mature, responsible, etc.  

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achase123

You were with your SO almost nine years and you have only been broken up for a month.  That's nowhere NEAR long enough to even remotely be over what happened.  Once you heal from the pain of being cheated on, disappointment over the loss of your family, and begin to lose feelings for him, you'll still need to work on YOU and all that is broken.

You said it all when you said that you are single and have never experienced that before.  You NEED to.  Plus, you have a five month old, how would you possibly have time to date?

PoundCake

I agree with everyone else on waiting and finding yourself.  Plus you've only been with one person since you were 15.  Find out what you like, what your about.  The kind of person who you are interested in and what you want in a man.  Spend time watching your child grow up and do things with him.

Time will come when a man will fit into your life but  enjoy your freedom first.

bradyg927

I have to agree with the other ladies in that it sounds like you just need time to yourself.  Why the rush to find a man?  Take some time for yourself.  I get that you don't like being alone, but rushing to find a man isn't going to help.  How is your support system?  Do you have friends and family you can talk to?  Are there any local support groups for single moms or single again groups?

sweetie0228

You are whole and complete on your own.  You don't need a man to "complete you".  Until you can stand up and say I am a complete and confident individual, you won't find anyone of quality.

Starbuck5

No one can tell you that now isn't the right time, or that you haven't gotten over your ex yet. That's something only you can decide. Just because your relationship officially ended a month ago doesn't mean it wasn't over before then. Only you know that. 

But I wanted to tell you something. 

I know it's hard because you have lost your companion. But this is such a wonderful opportunity to find yourself, and form such a special bond with your little girl as you won't get this time back.

Form or strengthen new friendships with those around you because they are the ones who are there forever. They are your true companions.

Don't worry about finding your next mate quite yet...it will happen.  

((hugs)) 

kjohn091

thanks ladies! i guess yall are right, it is just so hard right now being alone...all the time. I really dont have anyone to talk to or to go to for support. I am seeing a counselor, but it has not made me feel any better yet. I dont necessarily want to date yet, but i just worry down the road about being alone forever i guess. i know it sounds dumb...but it really scares me. I just never pictured raising my daughter alone... I always wanted that family for her that i never had.  Thanks agian.

PrincessFiona9

Oh I completely understand that. It's just important to take that time to get comfortable with yourself, as everyone was saying. Don't try to replace your ex.