Seriously, lady? (rant)

llc730

We took DD to church this morning. I made sure that we sat in the very back in the area that is marked "reserved for families with small children". During the first half of the service DD was making a noise here and there but overall being pretty good.  We were shushing DD and trying to keep her distracted with books and quiet activities and as soon as she started fussing consistently I took her out. Apparently this wasn't good enough for the older lady sitting in front of us. Every time DD made the slightest peep, even during hymns when it really wasn't noticeable the lady kept turning around and giving us the side eye. I wanted to give her the side eye right back and point to the sign. We go to a very large church so there was plenty of places for her to sit if she was disturbed. The kicker for me was that when I told my mom about it (my parents usher a lot so they stand in the back) she knew exactly who I was talking about and apprently she has been rude to other families before!

CourtneyS24

Lol that lady would hate me then! The only time I take DD out is when she is crying but she loves to sing/laugh and the people around us get a kick out of it. If she gets too distracting I take her to the nursery but usually she stays with me.

 

Lilrdmandy

I've been on a search for a new church recently because my old church has had a lot of changes and the pasters are all new.  Its 30+ minutes away so looking for something closer. 

Anyways, I've found that a lot of churches aren't very child friendly, even though you would think that every church would be.   The last one I was at, I was practicably booted out of the service and told that there is a "nursery" I could go to.  The nursery wasn't staffed, it was just a room with some dirty nasty toys for kids to play with.  There was a mom in there with her 2 older kids, probably 10 and 12 and they wouldn't let my son play with one of the 50 trains in there.  The mom then proceeded to call her son a jerk and told the daughter something about how no one wants to play with kids like him.  Needless to say, I will never go back!

RandiDeeAnn

I've actually just started teaching the nursery Sunday School Class at our church. I believe very strongly about not "just sending your kid to the nursery" during all parts of the service. They should have a Sunday School Class just like everyone else (if parents so choose). That gives the kids an early start at the "routine" of service, and it gives the parents a break so they can enjoy their lesson. I told our pastor that I would take my turn "staffing" the nursery during "big church" but would not bring Jana in unless she was causing a problem. I think kids need to learn how to act in church within reason. I'm having to learn that kids are going to be kids and that most people are understanding. I only take her to the nursery when she is getting really unruly/loud or if I've just had enough for the day.

I will say that our church was really accomodating to me in the early days. Jana cried ALL.THE.TIME and it was a disturbance. Plus I was breastfeeding. They installed a camera system with a t.v. in the nursery because I was spending so much of service in the nursery.

llc730

RandiDeeAnn:

I've actually just started teaching the nursery Sunday School Class at our church. I believe very strongly about not "just sending your kid to the nursery" during all parts of the service. They should have a Sunday School Class just like everyone else (if parents so choose). That gives the kids an early start at the "routine" of service, and it gives the parents a break so they can enjoy their lesson. I told our pastor that I would take my turn "staffing" the nursery during "big church" but would not bring Jana in unless she was causing a problem. I think kids need to learn how to act in church within reason. I'm having to learn that kids are going to be kids and that most people are understanding. I only take her to the nursery when she is getting really unruly/loud or if I've just had enough for the day.

I will say that our church was really accomodating to me in the early days. Jana cried ALL.THE.TIME and it was a disturbance. Plus I was breastfeeding. They installed a camera system with a t.v. in the nursery because I was spending so much of service in the nursery.

We have this, but I just don't want DD to get the idea that if she acts up in church she gets to go play with toys. When I was little my mom would spank us if she had to take us out of church (No flames please. I do not plan on doing this.)

aocain02@yahoo.com

I would be annoyed at the old lady too. Although I think it is a lot to ask of a toddler to sit through a church service and I prefer to use the nursery. It is fully staffed, they teach a lesson there, have craft and play time, and let the little ones fellowship the way they know how to, loudly. To each their own though.

melody921

That lady needs to get a grip. Children talk, laugh, cry. It's just the way it is. As long as a baby isn't screaming or being really distracting, he or she has a right to be there. I've been trying to take DS to church with me more often so he learns from a young age that he needs to sit still for the hour we're there. I only had to take him out once. Most of the time, he looks around at the other people, plays with a small, quiet toy or book and is pretty good. This past week, I had to laugh because an older woman next to us commented on how good he was in church when we were getting up for Communion. Then pretty much as soon as we got back to our pew, he decided he'd had enough of being quiet and still and started fussing. Oh well, at that point, church was practically over. I don't want to reinforce that if DS acts out in church, he'll get to leave. On a sort of related note, I'm also not a fan of kids snacking during the entire church service. It's not that long, they don't need to bring a feast.

SailorGray

Hmmm, I wonder how much of the church service that woman was paying attention to if she so wrapped up with your LO. She would have been better off staying at home.  I know it's tough, but churches are for everyone and you did nothing wrong. 

nealbl

Our priest has told us many times that the cry room is only for use when the child is crying or very upset and that they want us to sit in the church even if the child is talking or being noisy. Also that if we do use the cry room to come back in once the child has calmed down. They really encourage us to stay in the church.