How do you handle an out of state shower?

zhirsch

My DH and I live in California and my entire family and most of my friends live in Michigan. I'm flying back there for a baby shower in May and while I'm excited that it's finally "my turn" for the baby shower with family, I'm a little worried about the gifts. I know people like to watch you open their gifts, but is it rude to request that gifts be sent to our home address? I really don't want to have to ship a bunch of stuff home, because it would be SO expensive, and it just seems to make more sense for it to be shipped to me in the first place. Of course, clothes and onesies wouldn't be a problem but anything that can't fit in a suitcase will just be a headache. I'm sort of hoping that people realize this themselves and opt for giftcards!

memali26

I was in the same situation - down to the same states My mom just spread the info about me having to fly by word of mouth, so some people bought gifts cards, a few shipped things right to our house. Most of the stuff we got fit in the extra suitcase I had brought, and what didn't my parents brought out when they drove out to meet DD.

Just make sure whoever is hosting your shower knows the logistical problem, they can spread it by word of mouth. Not necessarily to request items be shipped, but make sure it's known your mode of transportation. People should, in general, figure it out from there.

JenWhite123

I would also suggest registering on Amazon or a similar site where most items have free shipping.  That way, maybe they can just order the gift a day or two before your shower and it will be waiting for you when you get home...  Just a thought.

 

We have the same issue, we are driving back to my home state (800 miles) for a shower.  But we have a very small SUV, so not many larger gifts will fit in it

chocoholicchick

We have the same issue, we live in FL but the shower is in CT. My MIL and mom are spreading the word about our logistical issues re bringing back gifts. However, we're prepared to just return any bulky items and repurchase them when we get home. It's a pain in the butt but we can't control how people want to give their gifts. Worst case scenario, my mom and my ILs are willing to drive down the gifts when they come to FL when LO is born.

Kml9876

I live in FL, but both if our families are in upstate NY. So when I was pregnant with my first child pretty much everyone knew that I was flying up so they either gave me gift cards or small gifts that I could put into a suitcase. I did get two items that I couldn't bring back. One of which I was able to return to BRU and then I got a gift card and repurchased the item when I got home. The other item my parents had to mail to me.

lmjt

Would you be willing to register on Amazon, so everything would need to be shipped regardless? A lot of people after noticing your address would probably opt to ship to your house at that point. I agree with PP's about the host letting people know you're traveling to the shower.

jupiterthecat

Same situation here (shower on east coast, live on west coast). I have similar plans to others. I'm hoping that my mom/ MIL can subtly spread the word that any large gifts should be shipped (I think that being too overt about this might be tacky), and I may register at Amazon (at least for bigger stuff) for this reason. I'm also hoping that people will just logically realize that carting a ginormous crib or stroller on a plane while 32 weeks pregnant is just not going to happen. I may fly Southwest (which allows you to check 2 bags free) for this reason.  Worst comes to worst, my parents will probably be driving cross-country sometime in the fall and can take anything, but they'll miss the baby's birth by a couple months. Returning/ rebuying is a smart idea! 

mabma80

For our first son, we lived in MN at the time and my family was in Georgia.  We drove down to Georgia (two day drive and 6.5mths preggers).  My Mom and Sis threw me a shower.  We stayed for a week, but piled everthing into our SUV and drove back home to MN.  It was easy cause it was our first.  Our second, however, my Mom sent me money and I threw the shower at my house.  But said that she and my Sis were the hostess' of the party, but they just couldn't be there.  I'm preggers with our third child, and now living in WI.  I don't think we'll be having a shower for this one, unless it's a surprise because we are flying down to GA in July.  I think my Mom will just take me shopping.

One thing I would do for you is maybe just have everybody get you a gift card to two different places.  Also, if someone wants to buy an outfit or two, that is easier to pack in luggage.  When you get home,  add up the gift cards and go shopping!  I think that would be fun!  Take a picture of what you bought with each git card and send that as your thank you note to that person.  It's the only thing I can think of that would work. 

cozylittlecave

YES. It is ALWAYS very rude to ask people to give gift cards or ship to your house. 

Spreading word about your traveling is your best bet. Most people should realize and give accordingly. If they don't though, you should be fully prepared to ship them back home (and do it graciously). Your other option is to return any gifts you can to the store (for credit) and re-buy the gift when you get back home.

Bottom line is that it's a common problem, but if you're flying home for a shower, it's your responsibility to get your gifts back home. (Also, be aware that complaining about this may likely sound ungrateful and gift-grabby to others. I understand your predicament- I too am flying home for a shower- but it boils down to complaining that you have to lug all your gifts home.)

zhirsch

lmjt:

Would you be willing to register on Amazon, so everything would need to be shipped regardless? A lot of people after noticing your address would probably opt to ship to your house at that point. I agree with PP's about the host letting people know you're traveling to the shower.

I thought about this, but I don't think it would be very practical for my grandma and several non-internet savvy relatives. Thanks for all your other ideas though! I think I'm going to have my mom start spreading the word early that shipping is better, and I guess just be prepared to return some stuff. 

buckeyeki

I was in a similar situation but we were able to drive.  Our family knew this and most who bought large items had them shipped directly to us and then brought a wrapped picture of the gift or included the notice of shipment email with the card.  I also brought pictures of anything we received at home to pass around so the shower guest could "see".  With your situation of needing to fly in, I think people will do the same.  I don't personally think it would be tacky to include in the notes of your registry that you would appreciate large items to be shipped to you, but that's just me.  

alliapistor

We had this issue with one of our wedding showers.  I actually checked a toaster oven as a piece of luggage (back when you didn't have to pay to check 1 bag).  We boxed up and shipped some stuff home and took some stuff back to the store for store credit/gift card and then just repurchased them when we got home.

For the baby shower - we plan to drive and bring back as much as we can.  Anything we can't fit and won't need immediately, we're having DH's parents bring when they come to visit after the birth.