tantrums in a 13 month old

hilwithonelary

DS has started to throw a tantrum any time I stop him from doing something he shouldn't or take away something he shouldn't have (such as when he grabs my glasses off of my face).  I always try to redirect him and give him something else to play with, but he never wants anything to do with it.  He will cry and scream, throw himself on the floor, and roll around.  If I try to pick him up, he flings himself around in my arms.  If I leave him alone, he will lay on the floor and scream for 5-10 minutes.  Is there any harm in just letting him throw a tantrum until he decides he's done with it?  Or should I respond to him somehow?

jkfranklin

Hmmm, I'll be interested to see what other's think.  My two cents would be to ignore him unless he is in danger of hurting himself, but I'm not sure if at 13 months he is able to understand that or not.

Sorry, that's wasn't very helpful.

celiabwatson

Read "The Happiest Toddler on the Block". Also, I usually talk to my son while he's upset. I'll say things like, "You're really mad." or "Wow, that upset you." My hope is that if he feels like I understand he won't keep trying to show me. It works for some upset but not so great for when he can't have something. My son is VERY persistent.

blissfully_caffeinated

celiabwatson:

Read "The Happiest Toddler on the Block". Also, I usually talk to my son while he's upset. I'll say things like, "You're really mad." or "Wow, that upset you." My hope is that if he feels like I understand he won't keep trying to show me. It works for some upset but not so great for when he can't have something. My son is VERY persistent.

Ditto. HTOTB has been a life saver.

Todd&Laura

I read that book, too, and have found it useful.  My son (almost 14 months) throws these kinds of tantrums sometimes, too.  I will usually carefully lay him on the floor (he likes to buck out of my arms when he gets like that so I worry that he will hit his head if he isn't laid down) and say something like, "You're mad.  Mama loves you.  I'm right here when you are done."  Then I go about what I am doing (near him).  He sometimes will cry a little, but eventually will get up and either walk to me and hug my leg or find something else to do.  GL

llc730

My DD has started to throw tantrums and this is what seems to be working for us. First, try to avoid them. One example is that we used to keep DD's snacks on an open shelf. She would ask for snacks multiple times a day and throw a fit when we said no. Now they are in a cupboard and I don't let her see them unless I am willing to give her some so I pack her bag when she isn't around. Same thing with milk cups. Second, as you said, try to distract her. Third, I usually say something like "I am sorry that you are mad but mama said no" and just let her go. Then I just check in with her and keep trying to distract her every couple minutes. It usually only takes about 5 minutes before she gives up.