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Two Under 2
Nap Issues with Older Irish Twin...
DS is used to being rocked to sleep until he is in a coma-like state and then placed in his crib once fast asleep. We started tryign to break this habit at 2 months old and nothing ever worked. CIO really wasn't for us. We continued trying to put him down 'drowsy but awake' and it never worked without escalating into screaming and out of control crying.
Now that DD is here and DH went back to work, DS will NOT nap. Obviously I rarely have the opportunity to rock him to complete sleep because I have to attend to DD's needs.
DS is 13 months and will stay up from 7 a.m. to 7p.m. I have NO idea what to do. At the moment, I've got him in his crib, WAILING, as I consider crying-it-out but I just don't feel right about it.
I need some serious guidance - I have NO idea whether to just allow him to NOT nap, which is bad for him or to CIO, which I also feel is bad for him.
What the heck do I do?
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Re: Nap Issues with Older Irish Twin...
When you try the awake but drowsy thing, how long is he awake since his last nap?
The only time awake but drowsy works is if you've figured out their ideal awake time, so they aren't overtired.
He dropped to one nap per day at 11 months - He wakes up at 7a.m. and I put him down for his nap at 1p.m., which is when he displays his tired signs.
I HIGHLY recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child" by Weissbluth. He addresses age-appropriate sleep needs, strategies, and expectation. It will help you with both your older son and your new baby.
IMO, your son has the right to sleep and needs to learn to self sooth and get good naps. He will be more alert, learn more, and be a happier baby. Yes, hearing your baby cry is HARD. Believe me, I HATE CIO. But you need to remember that his not sleeping is equally (if not more) heartbreaking.
With 2u2 we don't have the luxury to lay with our babies every day for hours, hold them for hours while they nap, etc. By following Weissbluth's book I have had a wonderful sleeper in my DD (she is now 20 months, sleeps 7PM to 7AM and has one 2 hour nap between 12 and 2PM - I can put her in her crib, kiss her forhead, and walk away). I am working with DS now on being able to put him in his crib drowsy and have him self sooth. There has been some crying, but it didn't take long before I could put him down, pat his tummy, tell him "nap time sweety", and walk away. He might wimper/cry for 5 minutes (tops) but he always falls asleep and wakes up much happier.
Sleep is one thing I am very strict about as a parent. I am a huge believer that sleep begets sleep, that sleep will dictate moods, and that learning can't happen with an exhausted baby. I also know that I don't have the time/energy to hold a baby for hours a day while they nap or to spend 45 minutes at nap time luring them into a deep sleep before putting them down. Time is limited in my life right now.. nap time is for cleaning, laundry, shower, etc.
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Good luck!
This might be your biggest problem. Once babies start displaying their tired signs (eye rubbing, yawning, fussing, etc) they are OVER-tired. They have a harder time going to sleep. My DD will skip naps all together if I don't have her home and in her crib by 12:30. If we are out beyond then and I try at 1 or 1:30 she will just lay in her crib and babble. Even if she is EXHAUSTED.
Try putting him down at noon and see what happens.
This!!! 6 hrs since waking is a long time for a 1 year old. I'd even suggest 11am for naptime, and see if he'll take two naps. See siggy link for ideal awake times.
What time does DD go for a nap? When she goes to sleep, then put DS to sleep so you have a little while to commit to rocking him until he falls asleep.
I also have an older child that still needs to be put to sleep, and I'm always able to put him down for naptime/bedtime without any issue. If she's awake, I put her in her swing since that will entertain her for the 10 minutes I need to put DS to sleep.
At nap time it takes 1:15 to get him to go to sleep. At this age, DD (7 weeks) is not consistent enough to predict which nap will last that long. She is a cat-napper, for sure.
We have tried earlier naps and later naps and neither make a difference - he appears to really need the long rocking session.
I'm thinking ferber is next and if that fails, I'm just goign to let the kid do what he wants and not enforce naps.
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. But this is a very bad idea. You need to parent your one year old....and a one year old needs to nap. Lack of sleep affects their brain, period. If he wakes at 7 - I would put him down and noon and not get him up until he has slept for two hours. If you want to go in and check on him a few times (the Ferber way) that is fine - but the training will take longer. It will work itself out in a few days and you will ALL be so much better for it!!! Just remember - this way of falling asleep is all he ever knows and it will be hard for him to change his ways. GL!! It really will get better
This is why is is SO important to have your first child sleep trained before #2 arrives (to those who are expecting now)
Although I agree with some of what you're saying, I do not agree with all of it (that's fine, this is a message board) but you come off as being incredibly condescending.
Your method of parenting is NOT the only method of parenting. There are plenty of people who 'parent' their child by not leaving them to cry by themselves and feel that THIS is the best way to parent them. I am not sure what I think yet which is why I came here looking for answers.
I parent him well, thanks.
Sorry - I was just refering to your comment about letting him decide whether to nap - not your parenting as a whole...I totally agree with you that CIO isn't for everyone. But my opinion is that you should sleep train him in whatever way you feel is right for your family. He can't decide on his own whether or not and when to nap...he's too little. If you don't want to do any training - that is obviously up to you...but then you should rock him to sleep. The baby needs to take a nap.
Believe me - I KNOW 2u2 is really, really tough and I don't mean to sound condescending...sorry about that.
But letting a baby skip his nap because it seems like the easier solution - or less traumatic or whatever...isn't the right decision for him (or any baby) long term.
I'm just trying to be honest with that - I don't have a habit of sugar coating things...so I'm really sorry if this seems condescending too.
Wow, that's a really long rocking session! You're probably right that Ferber might be your only option at this point.
A few ideas I just brainstormed is to sit in your bed with him and rock him back and forth. You can prop baby up on a boppy at the same time so if she needs to eat or wants attention you're right there. Also, have you tried TV? Sometimes I let DS watch a tv show before naptime because it helps him to be still since he's high energy.
Will he fall asleep in a stroller? Maybe you can go for a walk at a certain time everyday to get him to nap (and would probably be good exercise, too).
Although it's probably just better to bite the bullet and sleep train.
Good luck!