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Single Parents
Need advice
My ex has only seen DD twice and he lives down the street from us. He has 2 other kids and he has them everyother weekend. When I text him and ask if he wants to see her, he always has some excuse (one was it was his girlfriend's birthday) or he doesn't even text back. So I got fed up with it and said that I'm done trying and I don't want him in her life. He is a big let down and I don't want DD to get attached just to be let down by his BS excuses.
Now he's saying "she's my world please don't ever keep her from me" and all this other BS. He asked to take her for a few hours on Sunday and I said yes but I really don't have any intention of answering on Sunday when he calls, if he even does.
I feel uncomfortable giving her to somebody she doesn't even know but he won't come to my house to see her because I live with my parents and he feels awkward
Am i wrong for keeping her from him even though it's to protect her feelings? I think her not having a dad at all would be better than him being around every now and then and hurting her feelings.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Need advice
Don't ask anymore. It's hard, I know. X used to see DS every single day even after we broke up (he lived with my parents) but the last month he has seen him an hour at the most. It's extremely hard for me not to ask if he wants to see him but I just have to remember that if he did want to, he would.
At the same time though, you really can't keep her from him. You really should have a custody agreement put in place, but he doesn't seem to be much of a risk. He's her father. He has as much a right to see her as you do. She's only 4 months old, she won't know if he is in and out of her life.
You say she doesn't know him but you not allowing him to see/spend time with her isn't going to make them closer.
He's a big boy, he'll reach out to you if he wants a relationship. I wouldn't make it so black and white. If he proves on his own accord that he wants to be a father, then let him. Don't intentionally "keep" her from him. On the same note, being a parent is something that shouldn't be taken lightly. He needs to show you that he's capable of making an effort.
And don't send her with him. He's a virtual stranger. If he wants to see her, let him visit her in your presence until she is comfortable with him.