XP: Questions for moms of 2+

jason&robin

I have a 3.5 year old son and 20 month old daughter. They are definitely getting to the sibling rivalry stage.

At what point do you let them deal with their own issues? I feel like I am stepping in all the time and pulling them apart etc. I want them to be able to solve their own disagreements but don't know what a good age for that is.

 

thanks

joseysbride

I usually give them a little time, and when it gets out of control and someone starts hitting (Cohen) or screaming their head off (Cohen), I'll break it up. 

I also realize that most of the time it is my son (he's 19 months) who is trying to take something from my daughter (she's almost 5), and I'm trying to help her learn to pick her battles and give in to him sometimes, but I also don't want to be unfair to her.  I don't really ever ask her to give him something she has, I let her decide that for herself.  She is getting to the point where she is pretty good at trying to find something else that he will like and conning him into taking that instead.  I think for an almost five year old, that is the most mature way she could handle it.

jason&robin

your kids are gorgeous!

 My 3yo loves to take things for DD. Lots of screaming ensues. Drives me nuts. Of course, DS will freak out if something is taken from him so I have tried to talk with him about how upset it makes him when she does it...hasn't sunk in yet.

joseysbride

jason&robin:

your kids are gorgeous!

 My 3yo loves to take things for DD. Lots of screaming ensues. Drives me nuts. Of course, DS will freak out if something is taken from him so I have tried to talk with him about how upset it makes him when she does it...hasn't sunk in yet.

Thank you!

Yeah, it takes awhile for it to sink it, but like anything with kids, if you are consistent with the way you handle it, they'll figure it out!

DreamAmor

I try to not step in unless it's getting out of hand. Sophie is old enough that she doesn't get riled up as much anymore but Charlotte will bug her so much sometimes that she gets annoyed. Thankfully, their fights are not as bad as when they were younger. Now they're transforming into a whole other type of arguing....