Transition Problem - Sleep Related

mzovoce

We put Brooks down by rocking him, after he nurses for the first time he comes to bed with us since he is still nursing 2-3 times a night.

When we put him down we rock him until he's asleep (John most of the times does this) then once he's asleep he goes into the crib. Recently he's been waking as soon as he comes off the body. He starts screaming by the time he's laid in the crib. He usually screams for 5-15 minutes. If we put him to sleep in our bed he fusses for a few seconds and then goes to sleep, no screaming or crying. 

John thinks he screams because he misses us, I think it's because he doesn't want to sleep. A) Does it matter? Should we just put him to sleep in our bed and once he's down put him in the crib? C) Get a mat and co-sleep with him on his floor

tomandcourt

How old is Brooks now? Is he maybe going through a sleep regression?

I think by about 4 months we weaned off of the rocking - we would rock less, then just hold him for a while, and then eventually got to the point of putting him down drowsy but awake. That's an important skill and might help with your issue. 

 

hollace

I will lead this by stating that my baby isn't born yet, this is all based on what I just finished reading, so take it for what it's worth.  By the pictures it looks like your son is about 3 months or so?  According to what I just finished reading it was stated that you should start a bedtime routine and put them down when they are awake but drowsy (again, no personal experience here).  It was explained that a babies wake/sleep cycle is about 90 minutes (which doesn't explain his immediate response unless he's somehow getting startled), and that they will awaken about ever 90 minutes and if they were on you or in your arms, etc when being put down they will realize that you are no longer there and react by crying.  The theory is that if you put them down when tired but awake they will fall asleep in the crib instead of in your arms and recognize that is where they are at as they continue the cycles.  

Again, who knows, hardly practical application here, but maybe worth a try just to just place him in the crib.  

 

mzovoce

He's 8 months, I was trying to update his picture and I couldn't get it to work.

If I put him down when he's drowsy do you think that's better than fully asleep? 

hollace

mzovoce:

He's 8 months, I was trying to update his picture and I couldn't get it to work.

If I put him down when he's drowsy do you think that's better than fully asleep? 

 

again, based on what I've read (an official mom will chime in sooner or later Im sure, I hope  )  I would say yes, as he's definitely old enough to self soothe.  This is where all the ferberizing (sp?) threads come in. 

mommmyz

Have you read Ferber at all? It really is pretty good for understanding baby sleep, even if you're not for letting him cry. The way you put him to sleep - that's how he'll expect to wake up. So if he wakes up and he's not in your arms, he'll be confused and wonder - Uh, how did I get here...and cry! That's why it works a little better to put them down drowsy but awake, if you're up for letting him work on getting himself to sleep. If it's only taking 5 - 15 min. to me I think that means he's close and just needs consistent practice. But, yes, that would be where that whole Ferber thread and going with what feels right to you comes in.

There are other sleep training ideas too, No Cry Sleep Solution, The Sleep Lady, etc....but probably one of the most important things is to find one you and your DH can agree on, because it is not easy to do otherwise, no matter what you choose!

tracy042206

Only my experience but for Maggie I rocked her to sleep until she was too active to fall asleep that way at 9mo.  Then we did CIO in her crib and after 2 days she was falling asleep on her own just fine every single night with no crying.  So obviously out worked out pretty well for us just rocking her or getting her to sleep any way we could until that was no longer an option. I know people who rocked their 2yo's to sleep because that is what worked for them  Are you OK with putting him to sleep in you rbed and then transferring?  If so then I would say go for it for at least a few months.  You could always try ferber or extinction (we went this route but only because for us the going in every so many minutes would produce more crying hysteria than calming) cio for a few days and if the crying bothers you and DH too much, then wait a while. 

 

For Molly there were too many times I was tending to Maggie to get her to sleep or her meltdown or feeding or bathtime that she cried a little earlier (not hysterics) when I couldn't go to her immediately and she would end up falling asleep on her own.  I stopped rocking her to sleep around 6mo because she was putting herself to sleep so well on her own.

Jitterbug2668

By 6 weeks I was putting Nathan back in his crib during the night drowsy.  I know thats really early but it was nighttime and I wanted him to know that was bedtime.  We haven't looked back and he never really screamed.  Fussed, yes.  Now at almost a year, he takes his bath, has an ounce or two from a bottle and hits the bed.  He may fuss for 2-5 minutes but its usually him trying to get comfortable and in whatever position he wants to sleep in.  He makes me want to not have another child somedays!  I'm afraid that the next one might be the complete opposite.

HikerBride07

We rocked DD to sleep until she was walking and couldn't stay still and settle that way around 10 months.  After 10 months I'd nurse her to sleep in our bed then move her to her crib in our room.  When we would lay her down we would keep a firm hand on her until we were sure she was settled and still asleep.  I think that method came from No Cry Sleep Solution.  She always hated her crib, she's an active sleeper and would wake up any time she'd roll up against the sides so we moved her to a floor bed at a year old. 

Sofka

drowsy but awake does not work for us; it does not matter if I put the baby down awake, drowsy, or asleep (as in asleep in my arms for 1+ hr!), the moment she/he touched the crib ---> crying/screaming. DD did this and so does DS. It's a lot of back and forth, putting him down, picking him up again.

but drowsy but awake may work for you, so definitely try it! We are going to Ferberize soon.

 

mzovoce

Sofka:

drowsy but awake does not work for us; it does not matter if I put the baby down awake, drowsy, or asleep (as in asleep in my arms for 1+ hr!), the moment she/he touched the crib ---> crying/screaming. DD did this and so does DS. It's a lot of back and forth, putting him down, picking him up again.

but drowsy but awake may work for you, so definitely try it! We are going to Ferberize soon.

 

this is us. We've tried and he screams bloody murder. We go in and soothe him and it doesn't work he just stays worked up. Maybe we need to stop trying for a bit, take a break and try again later. 

imkhris

tracy042206:

Only my experience but for Maggie I rocked her to sleep until she was too active to fall asleep that way at 9mo.  Then we did CIO in her crib and after 2 days she was falling asleep on her own just fine every single night with no crying. 

 CIO??? Can you explain?