6 months along and finally getting help.
shakes
member
Hi girls,
This is my first time on this board. I believe I have been dealing with lingering ppd. I made an apt to go see my dr and a local counselor to get myself sorted out a bit and back on track.
In a nutshell, DS was born via urgent csection after months of planning a natural non medicated midwife assisted birth. The evening of day 3 I completely emotionally bottomed out in the hospital. I loved and wanted my son but I had no idea what to do with him or why I couldn't stop crying. I had no desire to lay in bed and stare at him and memorize his face etc. Once home I assumed it was the baby blues and would pass. I lost my desire to breastfeed which was the most important thing in the world...I just didn't care anymore.
Over time I found myself physically angered when he would cry (which isn't often, he's a wonderfully mellow gentle little man), and suddenly I understood how and why mothers would abandon their families and hurt their beautiful babies.
I have never hurt DS but it crosses my mind. I am often cold to him. I love him so very much and have days where I am just marveled by him and then suddenly I just fall apart.
Since I have DS I found out my dad has stage 4 brain cancer, my favorite uncle died, my beloved grandma (labour coach) died completely unexpectedly.
DH has been pretty amazing. If I were to look at it from an outside perspective he's a saint. But god help him on the days he can do no right....sigh....we will survive this, just sucks right now, doesn't it.
Just putting it out there, thanks ladies.
xo
Re: 6 months along and finally getting help.
It sounds like you have taken the first step and are on the right track to get better. I you get the help you need
Keep us posted!