f/u to Toddler Fears - one more question

themathgirl

When we get to church on sundays, I've already been there and I meet my hubby and we bring the boys to the nursery and then leave. Do you think it'd be better if they just didn't see me until after church? If it is separation anxiety I would think this would help. But if it's more a fear of new places it could make it worse maybe? I don't know what to do - should I go in and give them cuddles then leave, or just let the hubby bring them in and see how it goes without them seeing me?

LoveTravel

My boys are a bit older than yours (18 months) and they've been going to the Church nursery since that age or just a few months after, but I did not have any issues with separation anxiety, sometimes they will cry (or one of them) will and I just advise the nursery workers that if it's longer than a few minutes to come and get me.  The boys will usually settle down after a few minutes and are fine until we get them, BUT after that they don't want to go to my MIL or sisters they're tick with us lol

 I had a friend who her son was going through that and she would still bring him in and he's settled after a little bit 

I would still bring them in and advise the nursery worker that if it's beyond a certain amount of time to come and get you, but that's just me.

themathgirl

I definitely still want to bring them in, I'm just not sure if it would be better for me to see them before they go in or not see them. Better for them - I know for me I want to get my cuddles! But if it's making it harder for them, I'll wait till after church, you know what I mean?

Our church has a pager system, so if they stay upset they can page me. They've only had to do it once before. The boys used to do just fine, this has just started the last couple weeks. Last sunday was so hard, my little Parker was screaming at me from the nursery worker's arms as I walked out the door But he was the one who had started playing by the end of the hour. I think Derek needed a nap, he was actually asleep on one of the workers when we got back! He had taken one before we came, but I'm wondering if he didn't sleep all that well? Who knows. I just hate to see my boys cry like that!

tidetravel

themathgirl:

When we get to church on sundays, I've already been there and I meet my hubby and we bring the boys to the nursery and then leave. Do you think it'd be better if they just didn't see me until after church? If it is separation anxiety I would think this would help. But if it's more a fear of new places it could make it worse maybe? I don't know what to do - should I go in and give them cuddles then leave, or just let the hubby bring them in and see how it goes without them seeing me?

I think it's worth a try - it can't hurt.  DH is a SAHD, so when I get home from work, DD is ALL about me, since she hasn't seen me all day.  At the end of this pregnancy, I really need a nap when I get off of work, so I come home, say HI, and then lay down.  Some days it doesn't go so well, since she just wants to spend time with me - she'll try to open the door, or cry a little when I go to the other room.