Question for you...

puggylove

Hi Ladies! I am not a single mom but I am coming to you for advice. My best friend recently found out her husband was having an affair. Once she found out and confronted him, he moved out of their home and in with the OW. How can I best support her? She knows she can call whenever she needs me and I've offered to help her with her son. I haven't walked this path and don't know if there is more I could be doing for her. She has been going thru a whole range of emotions (totally expected) and I've tried to be there to listen and help her. I guess I'm wondering if there is more I can do for her. Was there things you're close friends did that helped you?Thanks and sorry for no paragraphs. I'm on my phone.

katie_cj

My best friend was just there. She knew I couldn't afford a babysitter, so she would come over in the evenings with a bottle of wine and we would sit, talk and watch movies.

It gets lonely, just having someone to talk to helped a lot.

 

keychain01

katie_cj@hotmail.com:

My best friend was just there. She knew I couldn't afford a babysitter, so she would come over in the evenings with a bottle of wine and we would sit, talk and watch movies.

It gets lonely, just having someone to talk to helped a lot.

 

Ditto this! Just be there for your friend. You might not be able to fix her issues, but being an ear for her to talk to would help. And babysitting her son so she can do things for herself would help. Even if its to go see a movie or something. Something my sister did was she had me over her house on fridays for a meal "I" didn't have to prepare. It was helpful and it got me out of the funk I was in.

achase123

My friends were wonderful.  They just sort of took over for me since I couldn't function.  One of them was my labor coach, which was awesome.  Another just started packing up XH's crap because it didn't need to be around anymore.  My labor coach friend would come over and hold P while I rested or got things done.  They just carried me and helped me through.  And listened but didn't judge.

Starbuck5

Exactly what the other women suggested, but I also wanted to add something...

Don't be surprised if she completely shuts down and hibernates for a bit...I know that when I was going through the worst of it (though I'm still in the divorce process) that I didn't really want to talk to ANYONE. I didn't return calls/e-mails/texts because at the beginning, talking about it made it a reality and I wasn't ready to face that. So don't be offended if she drops of the radar for a bit. But make sure she knows that you're there to talk....and not just about what is going on, but about other things. Distractions were needed as well! 

Good luck....sending T&P to your friend. 

haleyw458

I have to agree with everyone else. Just be there for her. Offer to spend some time with her after she puts her LO to bed. That time was THE WORST for me.

Also, don't bash her ex. I knew mine was a terrible person for everything he did but I wasn't ready to hear it, and ended up somewhat defending him just because I still felt like I was somewhat to blame for it.

If you need any other advice feel free to come back!

puggylove

Thanks Ladies! I really appreciate your advice. Take care of yourselves and your little ones