If you're pg with your 2nd/+...

aussiebabies

does your SO have less sympathy this time around? last time I was getting massages at least weekly and DH would hardly let me carry a grocery bag (literally). This time around he's tossing our 25lb toddler over to me to carry around all the time because he's feeling tired! Just wondering if I'm the only one...

pbj266

you are not alone. Even before I got pg my SO told me he would cater to me because thats what he did with the 1st. So when i got pg i expected a little bit of compassion! Im doing the shopping alone, carrying the stuff from the vehicle, and he just watches. I was recently put on bedrest and he STILL doesnt help me at all! I get no sympathy! So dont worry, you are not the only one... Good luck!

sleepingbeauty825

I'm definitely getting less foot rubs and the like, but he is always the one lugging our son around. So yes and no, because last time we had all the time in the world to lounge and get foot rubs and now not having to lug the baby up the stairs is my foot rub.

RJHarmon

The sympathy is over!  He used to do EVERYTHING before, and now I just get the advice that I can do it, just take my time and try not to over exert myself

PAmiler82

He's still just as helpful with carrying things and has done a lot of things himself that usually I'd help with (moving furniture, putting boxes in the attic, painting, etc) but there are DEFINITELY fewer back rubs and foot rubs (which I understand b/c we just don't have time to sit around like before).

What I really miss is the sympathy for how tired I am.  I feel like last time he was so understanding and sympathetic - he was always encouraging me to put my feet up, take a nap, sleep in, etc.  This time I'm even more tired (for obvious reasons) but I get much less sympathy.   Even just a little acknowledgment of how tired I am all the time would be lovely.

*Scuzzlebutt*

I'm getting more sympathy & help this time around because I'm having a much more difficult pregnancy than my first one.  He was good during my first pregnancy too, though.  Carrying DD was a breeze, but this pregnancy has been a rough go from very early on.  I've been on all kinds of meds from day 1, have had kidney stones, thyroid issues, terrible sciatica, etc this time around, plus I now have a 3.5 year old to chase around.  I'm trying to be strong and not complain a lot, but DH has been awesome about insisting I put my feet up when he gets home from work (I'm a SAHM) and taking on evening duties with DD (bath mostly, bc it's hard to get down on the floor in the bathroom to bathe her right now) and so on.  He encourages me to rest as much as I can and understands that things are painful and difficult right now, so I am pretty lucky.

PinkBackPack

DH is more sympathetic this time around, but not at first.

Incognito2009

I guess we are the opposite, we are pregnant with # 3 and DH will always take DD #2 and the diaper bag and help with anything that I need done. He is always saying "well you are already carrying one so I can at least take the other". It has been really nice, mind you I was never one for massages or anything like that, but he helps me out whenever I ask and more. 

G+J=BabyK

You are not alone on this one at all!!  My husband was the same way first time around and this time, I feel like I am doing everything!!  When I tell him I'm tired, sore, or whatever he tells me 'well, I am too'...... guess who doesn't get any when things like that come out of his mouth?!?!

Aprilynn0206

This has been the cause of many arguments between us. I can't tell you how many times I've told him that he is COMPLETELY out of touch with what I'm going through.

After our most recent argument I found out that he is nervous and slightly overwhelmed with our scheduled c/s only 19 days away. 

etteyam

He's been more sympathetic this time, mainly because this pregnancy has been more difficult for me. He's the one who's always making dinner while watching DD or taking her to the park so I can get some nap when I come home from work.

Heather & Nayt

We are the opposite, between having trouble TTC and a high risk pregnancy, DH has been much more helpful and protective this time around then he was when I was KU with DS. 

I don't get a ton of back rubs, but I think it is because by the time DS is in bed, I am too!  

mari_gold

Way less sympathy. I think he thinks that since I've already done this once, I'm an old pro and don't need the "novice" consideration I got the first time. But, he'll help however I ask him to and has picked up a lot of slack already, so I bite my tongue on this one.