I need help! I think I'm raising a brat

Mrs.Ram

I don't think she's like this with everyone, but she totally tortures me (hitting, pulling hair, etc.). Any recommendations for disciplining/parenting resources? Any suggestions in general?  Thanks!

LMH1209

I don't think you're raising a brat... I think you just have an eighteen-month-old

Are you doing any discipline method now?  I really like 1-2-3 Magic.  The basic idea is starting a count when the child is doing something you want to stop and sending the child to time out when you hit three, but the book is worth reading.  (The book goes through the psychology of the method and presents a variety of strategies (not just time out) for stopping negative behaviors and encouraging positive ones.)

In our house, we don't count for hitting and kicking.  Hitting and kicking (usually directed at me when I do something crazy like try to change DS's diaper) lead to an automatic time out.  I do think that it's working, but the change hasn't been overnight.

Good luck!

vml14

My 18 month old has also recently found it funny to pull my hair.  And she pulls hard.  I'm hoping that this is just a phase where she is figuring out her independence, but think I also need to start figuring out a discipline system.  No advice for you, but at least you're not alone.

DCtoLowcountry

I hear you. DS's behavior is way worse towards me. We are also starting this weekend with 1-2-3 Magic, since we want to curtail the hitting and throwing. FWIW the book says moms get the worst behavior because they trust us enough to act out, not that it's much consolation when you get smacked.

ak1234

Nope, you are just a mommy   My son snatches my glasses off all.the.time.  The lady at daycare?  Never.

eeclem

We're dealing with a little Rambo ourselves. Still haven't read 123 Magic yet, but generally when he starts getting physical, we put him down, say "Do NOT hit Mommy" and turn around and walk away.

We're also started to do time outs, but so far we've put him in his crib (because otherwise there is no containing him to one spot) and I don't know if that's a bad precedent or not.

Artslvr

LMH1209:

I don't think you're raising a brat... I think you just have an eighteen-month-old

Are you doing any discipline method now?  I really like 1-2-3 Magic.  The basic idea is starting a count when the child is doing something you want to stop and sending the child to time out when you hit three, but the book is worth reading.  (The book goes through the psychology of the method and presents a variety of strategies (not just time out) for stopping negative behaviors and encouraging positive ones.)

In our house, we don't count for hitting and kicking.  Hitting and kicking (usually directed at me when I do something crazy like try to change DS's diaper) lead to an automatic time out.  I do think that it's working, but the change hasn't been overnight.

Good luck!

Ditto all of this, word for word. 

Hey Jellisy

Nope normal 18 month behavior.  Try not to over-eact when you get hit, kicked, etc.  They really like seeing what reaction they can get.  Calmly tell your LO it is NOT OK to hit mommy.  Then resume doing whatever it was you were doing.  Eventually DD got tired of it not working and tried something new....  We use 123 Magic, but we introduced it closer to 2.  It works really well.  When we use it, everytime we have to count we tell DD the consequence of not doing what we ask and tell her the correct thing to do.  Most times we get to 2 and she does the correct thing, then we praise that action. 

mac_249

We do the counting method too -- except we go to five (for some reason, that's what we started doing).  Some things, like the previous posters have said, result in an immediate time-out.  We put him on a chair in the dining room.  My husband heard somewhere to make them sit for how old they are -- 2 minutes for a 2 year old, 3 minutes for a 3 year old, and so on.  We set the kitchen timer so he can hear when the buzzer goes off, he knows he has to apologize and then he can get off his chair.

tomandcourt

Hey Jellisy:

Nope normal 18 month behavior.  Try not to over-eact when you get hit, kicked, etc.  They really like seeing what reaction they can get.  Calmly tell your LO it is NOT OK to hit mommy.  Then resume doing whatever it was you were doing.  Eventually DD got tired of it not working and tried something new....  We use 123 Magic, but we introduced it closer to 2.  It works really well.  When we use it, everytime we have to count we tell DD the consequence of not doing what we ask and tell her the correct thing to do.  Most times we get to 2 and she does the correct thing, then we praise that action. 

OMG seriously! J was in a hitting mood this weekend and when I would loudly say "No! We do not hit!" he would LAUGH, which drove me crazy. Guess I'll be checking out that book sooner than later . . .

Mrs.Ram

Thanks, ladies! I ordered 1-2-3 Magic from Amazon and look forward to getting it! It's nice to know I'm not alone...