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Adoption
Mediation Today
Mom was a no-show, which did not surprise anyone, not even her attorney was surprised.
Dad was there, they flew him up from FL. He did not surrender, which is also no surprise. But, he was able to get some info from us, was able to get some understanding of the legal process, was able to GIVE us some info about him and the situation.
It was very emotional - for everyone. The CW was in tears, Lil J's attorney was in tears, we were in tears, dad was in tears - you get the idea.
Learned some very personal things about dad, and also some random things that will allow us to talk more casually to Lil J about him (where he grew up, what his favorite sports team is, what he likes to do, etc)
We are pretty confident that dad will do an identified surrender, maybe even in the next week or so. It is a lot for him.
He takes a DNA test, proves to be the father, gets a 20 page medical form to fill out, advised about TPR trial and / or surrender, gets hit with thousands of child support bills, etc, all within about a month. It's a lot to take in.
Since mom was a no show, we just talked with dad. We told him we would keep him updated with photos and he said he would write a letter that maybe would say a little more about himself, and that wehn Lil J is old enough, he could read it himself.
I think we had really good communicaiton with dad. So, I guess we made SOME progress today.
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Re: Mediation Today
I actually have FOUR lol. But my 16 year old kinda takes care of himself
My big thing is a schedule. Without it I would be lost. I know strict schedules are not for everyone, but for us, I KNOW that I will have a few hours of me time every day.
Yeah, sometimes schedules go out the window for parties, holidays, and just plain because - but for the most part, we plan around the schedule.
I try to get Lil J involved in the "big kid" stuff - things like helping with dinner, setting the table, grocery shopping, etc I *try* not to give him too many things related to the babies, since I did not want him to think that those things were his only purpose KWIM?
When I can (which is hardly ever) I do try to do stuff with just him. Maybe I can run to the store or the post office real quick - leave the girls with my older son, or husband - and just take him. Like I said - it does not happen often, but when it does, he thinks it is really special.
All of the little ones share a room, it works because it has to.
You can do it - it might just take some ltime
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I'm glad you were able to meet and talk to J's father. It will be so good for J to know that you've met him and have some information about him as he grows.
I truly hope that from here on things go simply for you. It's time your family is formally and legally recognized.
I have been trying to catch-up with the details of your story. It overwhelms me thinking about it. You are one STRONG woman and i admire you greatly!
I'm glad you are making some progress though and i'm excited for you to be done with this part.