Heartbroken

leashe1220

Please NO Flames...... I got ATTACKED on TIP board about this issue..... I was with my BF for 9 months... was very much in love with him.. he spend alot of time with myself and my 4 yr old son.. also with his son who is 11 but lives in another state with his mother,( spends summers with dad).. Things were great, we were a little family... anyone one day i out of no where googled him... I dont know why i never did but i found out he is a registered SO... the charge says Indecent A&B on a minor... i was shocked and shaking...

i confronted him and he said it was something that had been eating at him and hard for him to tell me... he explained the situation and said he was inoccent but that doesnt change that this is NOT a situation I can remain in for my son... for so many reasons..

anyway i know i am doing the right thing by my son who is my number one but still having a hard time with it all.. i think i may still be in shock....

katieisawesome

I'm sorry that's really sad.  But the right thing to do is protect your son.  You can't know if this man is telling the truth or not.  Get out and stay away.

leashe1220

Thank you. I appreciate the kind words... this has been a very difficult time

BostonGayGal

The case would be public record.  I would walk down to the court, look up the case file, and read it.  In order to look it up you want his name, the county where the incident took place, and the year it happened.

I am not saying that the charge is nothing.  Clearly, there are dangerous people on the list.  But sometimes they aren't serious.  I know of cases where a kid who mooned an elderly lady at a parade ended up as a registered SO.  That he is a registered offender is a major red flag.  Now follow it up by getting the information to accurately evaluate the risk. 

The OTHER MAJOR red flag is that you dated him for 9 months and he kept this from you.  

Be strong.   

leashe1220

Sadly the charge is indecent assault and battery on a child under 14.. he says he didnt do anything and he is a good man but its not even the charge.its self. its unfortunatly all that comes with it. I cant lose my son and if my ex found out about it he could have taken my son away or even got child protetive services on me... too much to bring on my child...

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

sweetie0228

First off let me say that this is incredibly sad and traumatic for you and your son.  And yes, if I were your ex and I found out you were living w/ a sex offender...my child would be outta there!

He was charged and CONVICTED to be put on the registery correct?  They don't just put people on the registery b/c they charged you and an investigation is going on; he must have been CONVICTED.

You are a victim in this now too.  He knows he's probably not allowed anywhere near children and he chose you, a single mom.

Please get away and grieve, go to counseling and get the anger out about being tricked and manipulated into believing this relationship and who he wanted you to see him as.

There are at least 2 other women on this board who know very very well what you are going through. I'm hoping they will respond to this post.

leashe1220

He said he took plea... Public defender told him it would be better choice... to avoid jail time cause he said/ she said trials usually are hard to win.. at the time there was no SO registry and his son was just born...

 

i do know i am doing best for my son.. just feel like it shouldnt be so hard since i am doing the best thing and putting my son first.. also hard cause my son talks about him still and misses him and his son... he loved him,

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

leashe1220

Thank you for the information. oddly enough, he does not come up on that site you supplied...

Unknown

This content has been removed.

PoundCake

I'm sorry you have to deal with this.  I agree with everyone else.  I know you feel sad right now but you have to protect your son.  He waited so long to tell you which is wrong in itself.  ((hugs))

Temp552270562505132

I don't know why you would get attacked for that.  You said you left him?  So you did the right thing.  Unless there is more to the story....

 

However I would take your son to be evaluated by a child psychologist, just in case.  And going forward, I'd do a sex offender check on anyone coming into contact with my child.

 

Everyone always says they're innocent but the fact is- ESPECIALLY in situations like this- there has to be a certain burden of proof met to be charged with this, so he's obviously totally guilty.  Don't let the "what if he IS innocent" eat at you, because he's not. 

 

Also, what is indecent A&B.... sorry not familiar with terms like that....