Is this normal? (super long, but has paragraphs!)

sk62108

I have to preface this by saying that K was an awesome newborn--slept through the night at 3 weeks, nursed like a champ, gained weight like a champ. I'm just wondering if I lucked out then and I'm now experiencing what "normal" babies do.

My daughter has absolutely no self-soothing skills. She doesn't sleep-every nap and bedtime is literally hours of struggle. She usually just screams herself exhausted and then has to be held upright the entire nap. A "good" nap is 45 minutes.

If it's bedtime, she has to be held upright for at least an hour before she can be laid down. Then, when we do lay her down, she wakes up and I have to lay down next to her (the crib is sidecar-ed to the spare bed in her room) with my hand touching her face. She'll cry off and on for at least another half hour before she'll fall asleep. I can't even count the number of times she is up at night. Sometimes wanting to nurse, sometimes needing to be picked up. 

She has been treated for reflux since January. We recently saw a peds GI, did an upper GI x-ray, and tested for allergies. She has no allergies and the x-ray looked good. We've started and stopped solids 6 times because her fussiness is always worse with them. She's 8 months old, so I would think her intestines should be able to handle them. She's down from the 25th percentile to the 3rd percentile in weight. I'm wondering if this has nothing to do with reflux since her meds don't seem to make a difference. My guess is that the fussiness is related to the lack of sleep, but WTH won't she sleep?!

I'm sorry that was so long. I really appreciate any thoughts you have. I want to make her another doctor appointment, but I don't want to be that type of parent just looking for something wrong with their child. Do most babies have this much trouble sleeping and do they cry this much? In my experience with babies, the answer is no, but maybe those babies had no sleep issues? 

ETA: Because all babies are good!  

greenclown

Your kid dropped that much in weight and the doctors you already have aren't still investigating? I do think you need to make another appointment, but not because she's fussy. I'd be concerned about the weight loss.

as a side note, I despise the term "good baby." It implies that other babies are bad. I don't know how a baby could be bad.

princess101

I don't think that's normal, at least not in my experience. I think your doctors need to look into the weight loss for sure and figure out what's really going on. Poor baby and poor mama. I hope you get some answers soon.

sk62108

greenclown:

Your kid dropped that much in weight and the doctors you already have aren't still investigating? I do think you need to make another appointment, but not because she's fussy. I'd be concerned about the weight loss.

as a side note, I despise the term "good baby." It implies that other babies are bad. I don't know how a baby could be bad.

You're so right. I would never mean to imply that my daughter isn't good. I'll change it. 

I've ALWAYS been concerned about her weight, but the peds GI said it was because she's not eating solids well. We can't figure out why she's not tolerating solids. The next step is to scope her, but I really don't want to do that unless it's absolutely necessary- and I'm just trying to rule out anything else that might be causing her slow weight gain and fussiness. 

roshybride

Ezra had unexplained reflux and none of the meds worked for him.  It could be reflux and she may be a positional reflux baby, since she needs to be upright for a long time.  Does she sleep if you use a moby or something to keep her upright? 

 

PubStar09

sk62108:

greenclown:

Your kid dropped that much in weight and the doctors you already have aren't still investigating? I do think you need to make another appointment, but not because she's fussy. I'd be concerned about the weight loss.

as a side note, I despise the term "good baby." It implies that other babies are bad. I don't know how a baby could be bad.

You're so right. I would never mean to imply that my daughter isn't good. I'll change it. 

I've ALWAYS been concerned about her weight, but the peds GI said it was because she's not eating solids well. We can't figure out why she's not tolerating solids. The next step is to scope her, but I really don't want to do that unless it's absolutely necessary- and I'm just trying to rule out anything else that might be causing her slow weight gain and fussiness. 

Sounds necessary to me.

sk62108

roshybride:

Ezra had unexplained reflux and none of the meds worked for him.  It could be reflux and she may be a positional reflux baby, since she needs to be upright for a long time.  Does she sleep if you use a moby or something to keep her upright? 

 

Yes, I have to use the Ergo for naps so my arms don't give out. She just sweats so much in it.

Did Ezra grow out of his reflux? 

roshybride

sk62108:

roshybride:

Ezra had unexplained reflux and none of the meds worked for him.  It could be reflux and she may be a positional reflux baby, since she needs to be upright for a long time.  Does she sleep if you use a moby or something to keep her upright? 

 

Yes, I have to use the Ergo for naps so my arms don't give out. She just sweats so much in it.

Did Ezra grow out of his reflux? 

Yes eventually he did. His reflux manifested itself with severe vomiting.  After seeing the specialist and having lots of tests run, and lots of experimenting with how to feed him, we found out that we had to really thicken his formula to keep it down. After thickening his formula the vomiting slowed down and he started gaining wait. By a year, he had outgrown it completely.   

jCamsquared

While it all does sound concerning, I have a question. Is she dropping in weight or percentile? There is definitely a difference between the two. DS has been slowly dropping in percentile (from ~40th to ~15th) but the doctor is still okay with it because he is still gaining. If she is still gaining it isn't nearly as bad as if she has lost weight. If she has lost weight then you most definitely need to push harder for help/answers.

sk62108

jCamsquared:

While it all does sound concerning, I have a question. Is she dropping in weight or percentile? There is definitely a difference between the two. DS has been slowly dropping in percentile (from ~40th to ~15th) but the doctor is still okay with it because he is still gaining. If she is still gaining it isn't nearly as bad as if she has lost weight. If she has lost weight then you most definitely need to push harder for help/answers.

Generally, she's just dropped in percentile. At the time of her reflux diagnosis, she had lost about 1/2 a pound over a couple of weeks.

If she were happier more often, I wouldn't think twice about her weight and the drop in percentile. 

Thanks, everyone, for the advice.  

bensbabe

DS has/had non-typical reflux. I fought w/my pedi for weeks until I begged for medication, and then I asked for combo meds. The combo worked, but it never fully rid him of reflux. Please Please Please use that mommy instinct & get your child tested. I know the scope is scary, but you NEED answers! DS dropped weight...not just percentile, and while it isn't always concerning, below 5% was for our pedi.

He was also very picky about foods. We didn't do much w/cereals but went to soft finger foods. He has mostly outgrown his reflux, but still has occasional episodes.

sk62108

bensbabe:

DS has/had non-typical reflux. I fought w/my pedi for weeks until I begged for medication, and then I asked for combo meds. The combo worked, but it never fully rid him of reflux. Please Please Please use that mommy instinct & get your child tested. I know the scope is scary, but you NEED answers! DS dropped weight...not just percentile, and while it isn't always concerning, below 5% was for our pedi.

He was also very picky about foods. We didn't do much w/cereals but went to soft finger foods. He has mostly outgrown his reflux, but still has occasional episodes.

Did your DS have to be scoped? I don't know anyone IRL that's had to do this.  

bensbabe

No, but I would have if the second & increased dose of meds (we did a combo of two meds). He was keeping food down & actually interested in eating. We were thisclose.

I have known people to have their babies scoped. Two found pyloric stenosis (the opening to the GI tract was extremely small & needed surgical intervention). I wish I could help more, but I hope that it helped a little.

sk62108

bensbabe:

No, but I would have if the second & increased dose of meds (we did a combo of two meds). He was keeping food down & actually interested in eating. We were thisclose.

I have known people to have their babies scoped. Two found pyloric stenosis (the opening to the GI tract was extremely small & needed surgical intervention). I wish I could help more, but I hope that it helped a little.

You did help, thanks! Right now I really just needed some people to bounce ideas around with.  

Lyssapee

My DD went from 10% to 95% to 75% down to 20%.  Sometimes variation can be normal especially after they start moving more.  When you BF, the babies wt the first 6 months is a reflection of your pregnancy, after 6 months it's more about when the baby has been eating.

How old is DD?  My daughter is a terrible sleeper and has reflux too.  Eventough DD is still on the charts with wt and has had issued with solids she is being followed more closely.  Right now we are trying to get her to gain one point by her next appointment. 

GL!

robinsokj

If she has to be scoped I promise it will be harder on you than it is on her.

sk62108

Lyssapee:

My DD went from 10% to 95% to 75% down to 20%.  Sometimes variation can be normal especially after they start moving more.  When you BF, the babies wt the first 6 months is a reflection of your pregnancy, after 6 months it's more about when the baby has been eating.

How old is DD?  My daughter is a terrible sleeper and has reflux too.  Eventough DD is still on the charts with wt and has had issued with solids she is being followed more closely.  Right now we are trying to get her to gain one point by her next appointment. 

GL!

She's 8 months. What kind of issues does your DD have with solids? What sorts of things do you do to help?

Today I'm going to try only "constipation remedy" foods. She's not constipated, but I thought maybe those would be easier on her system.  

Robin- I'm pretty sure that's true of all things baby-related. The logical side of my brain knows that. I need the freaking out half of my brain to STFU.