*CPA04*

kmartinez80

I just responded to your other post, and as a side note, have you thought about what you want as the stipulations for the supervised visitation?  Who will be supervising the visits?  Where will they take place?  What are the rules and guidelines for the visits (what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior, what will end a visit prematurely, etc.)?  I know you didn't ask for an opinion on this, but you may want to really think about all of this before going to mediation/court. 

With my XH he has supervised visits 2 hours every Saturday with a court appointed supervising agency.  They are required to write reports for the court and have very clear rules for the visits.  It can be a bit costly, but a lot of the time the parent being supervised is required to pay for the services.  I don't know where you're located, but there should be a list of court approved agencies on your state or county court website or if you have a lawyer they should know who the court generally assigns.

I would not recommend having friends or family serve as the supervisor.  My XH and I tried to use friends initially (after I got the protection order for me and DD but before we had temporary orders in place) and it made for some really bad situations and the police being called because the friend wasn't willing/able to stop XH from becoming abusive and threatening to end my life that night.  Lesson learned and it all goes back to sweetie's extremely wise advice, "Being nice gets you screwed."  Good luck!

CPA04

I was going back and forth about me supervising the visits, but I've decided that it's best for the agencies to do this because:

1. I don't have to deal with STBXH & his guilt trip/verbal abuse

2. I won't be the one that has to make him leave when the time is up-I won't have to be the enforcer

3. I will have a tiny bit of time to myself to run errands, get a haircut, etc. (I know that sounds selfish)

4. I'm done trying to do something because it will be easier/more convenient/more comfortable for him.

As for the schedule...I'm still contemplating that.  I don't know the right answer right now.

kmartinez80

CPA04:

3. I will have a tiny bit of time to myself to run errands, get a haircut, etc. (I know that sounds selfish)

Not selfish at all, if we weren't single parents we would have partners that could stay with LO so we could go do this stuff without feeling the guilt.  We all need a bit of "me time." 

As for the rest, I'm glad you've thought about all of that and I just wanted to offer you my perspective as someone who has been there and what I would have done differently (not having friends supervise the visits ever).  Good luck this week!

CPA04

kmartinez80:

CPA04:

3. I will have a tiny bit of time to myself to run errands, get a haircut, etc. (I know that sounds selfish)

Not selfish at all, if we weren't single parents we would have partners that could stay with LO so we could go do this stuff without feeling the guilt.  We all need a bit of "me time." 

As for the rest, I'm glad you've thought about all of that and I just wanted to offer you my perspective as someone who has been there and what I would have done differently (not having friends supervise the visits ever).  Good luck this week!

I appreciate it!  I need people like you to either affirm my thoughts or tell me I'm selfish and dumb.  I know I can get honest feedback here!  Thanks for the good luck, I'll take all I can get.  I wish our hearing was Tuesday, but STBXH said he had to continue it because the mediator didn't get in touch with him to set it up.  Um...you were served papers, YOU have to respond.  The court isn't going to come to you to set up mediation.  Dumbazz.  ::FacePalm::