Would you lock your toddler in her room?

ldcoffel

We just switched the crib to a toddler bed. She was awesome last night (first night) in her bed. She didn't get out at all, until very early this morning. Nap time was a struggle. I ended up having to put her back in 7 times! I know its the first nap time, but she fights naps hard anyway. Last weekend she didn't nap at all because she was climbing out of the crib and I gave up. Her doors are like french doors- they don't latch, or turn knobs, they just pull open. After some convincing from both my parents who tell me how they had to lock me in my room, I rubber banded the doors together. She gave up really quick and laid back down in bed. Is this too cruel?

disbride061103

No, I would not rubber-band the doors shut. What if there was a fire or something? How would she get out? Or if you were trying to get in it could cause problems. Teach her not to get out of bed and not to open the door.

ironmommy

I wouldn't lock my child in her room, but I know lots and lots of parents that do. 

leslie13510

While technically I don't see it as any different than a child not being able to get out of a crib, or putting up a baby gate, I still feel really uncomfortable with actually locking them in their room.  I don't think I could do it. 

Is there any way you could put up a baby gate?  Other than that, just keep being consistent and she'll get it.  Nap times were kind of a pain for us too at first.  The first day they played leap frog down the hallway for 45 minutes... ugh.  But now they only come out if they need a clean diaper or something else is wrong (though they do frequently end up sharing a bed instead of each in their own, but as long as they're ok with that and are getting the sleep they need, I don't care). 

bizmom

With DS when I made the switch, I got a baby gate and put it in his doorway. We have always shut his door for naps and bed, and he is able to open his door, so when he would try to get out cause of not wanting to sleep, then he would still be "locked" in his room by the gate. I feel it's the same as if he were still in his crib (being locked up). I just find that it contains him in his room for more of his safety. I still put his gate up now cause I don't want him wandering in the house inthe middle of the night and get into anything he shouldn't. So my answer to your question... If she is used to the doors being shut, I say DO the rubberbands or get a baby gate that fits her doorway. HTH

LuckySunshineBaby

Room Locker HERE!  I worry about the fire concerns too (and have installed hardwired smoke alarms in every single bedroom on our second floor, in the non-livable basement and mainfloor, which is minor over-kill for our 900 sq ft. home, and have her anglecare monitor still set to beep if the temperature rises over 77 degrees in her room). 

We have a safety concern on our top floor.  It's a older home (100+ yrs) and there is a half wall by the steps.  Due to exceptionally narrow hallway and HVAC system, we can't build it up to the ceiling.  DD is a MAJOR climber, so despite a gate at the top and bottom of the steps, she could still get to the half wall.  At one point of the wall it would be a 10 foot + drop to the steps landing.  Our fear for a behavior we've seen her do (often) makes us think it is a better reality than the fire situation.  In the nursery, we had the door knob flipped so the lock is on the outside.  In her current room, we have at the door knob protector that doesn't allow her to open it.  

In your situation, I would reverse the door handles or get the french door handle childproof locks (IL's have them on their study doors for our visits).  

HTH>

 

mandyclaire579

I don't see a single thing wrong with it if the parents' room is extremely close, and I mean that they share a wall. And for it to be used as a safety precaution and not as a punishment or means of getting a kid to stay in their room in an attempt for them to sleep. I thought my friend was extreme because she locked her daughter in her room at night. But they live in a two story house and they have a pool in the backyard. All that would be stopping the girl is the backdoor. She knows how to swim, but all it takes is one night of someone forgetting to latch a door completely and an accident can happen. And I think most all of us have seen how quickly toddlers learn to master "baby proofing" crap. The only thing I've seen that actually works are the knob covers and even those can pop off.

 

KatieLG04

You would probably only have to do it for a few days anyway since she will learn she can't get out.  I would probably do the baby gate though if possible.

ldcoffel

Not sure about a gate because she has double doors, but I will look into it. I am not concerned about a fire. I am right outside her door- folding laundry.

cactus5

I have child locks on my son's door, so technically he is locked in his room. I can still get in though. In your case, I might just rubber band them during naps when you are around the house and then at night when she is falling asleep. You can always undo the bands before you go to bed.

JOEBunny

If there is a fire, a two year old is unlikely to evacuate by themselves, and a rubber band is hardly a dead bolt.  Most likely would hide or scream.  Absolutely, I would lock them in their room.  I would have done this with DD, she would go nuts and beat on the door at bedtime if she wasn't practically asleep sometimes.  She couldn't open the door, so I didn't have to.  DS is different, but he can't open the door either. 

lynne114

We have a baby gate in front of DDs "door" since there is actually no door for her room. We recently moved DD into a bigger room but unfortunately I didn't think to get a door and hinges and put up before we switched rooms. Now I have to hope DH gets a little free time soon to put it up but until then we just put a gate up to keep her in her room. I wouldn't rubber band the doors because your DD could pinch her fingers.

meldoo2002

I would do it.  I think having a toddler locked in their room is safer than having them roaming around without you knowing (like if you are sleeping at night).

Brewtowngrl

We did it.  In regards to fire safety it is actually pretty safe to lock them in.  I talked to a few friends of mine that are fire fighters and they told me that children get so scared when there is a fire that sometimes it is hard to find them. They will also run away from a fire fighter.  Have you ever seen them suited up and talking through the mask?  It is pretty darn scary.   The first thing they do is bust through all bedroom windows and make sure no one is in them. Fire fighters have no regard when it comes to damaging property.  It is all about finding anyone in side and getting the fire out.  As it should be.   

LukeAndAmanda

We actually turned DD's doorknob around so we could lock it from outside, and she can't mess with it. Our landlord didn't want us adding deadbolts higher up on the doors (didn't see the big deal, but oh well) so we had to find other ways to keep her in the house. She is constantly trying to get out, and no amount of telling her no makes her stop wanting to escape. She will ask for a million different things at naptime and bedtime if we don't. Even though she's been in a twin bed since 15 months, she still tries to come out every single night.

naturelle25

LukeAndAmanda:

We actually turned DD's doorknob around so we could lock it from outside, and she can't mess with it. Our landlord didn't want us adding deadbolts higher up on the doors (didn't see the big deal, but oh well) so we had to find other ways to keep her in the house. She is constantly trying to get out, and no amount of telling her no makes her stop wanting to escape. She will ask for a million different things at naptime and bedtime if we don't. Even though she's been in a twin bed since 15 months, she still tries to come out every single night.

we did this too. I had to lock her in for quite a while but now I dont have to b/c she doesnt even try to open the door. We live in a tiny townhouse and her bedroom is less than 5 steps away from our room.

Ms.Hodge

We baby gate DS room. You could try that. 

LucyPevensie

I would never lock my 2 year old in his bedroom.  

jacksjerseygirl

I don't know what I will do but I doubt I will lock him in. 

That act in MO can get you written up by social services, mandatory parenting classes, and counseling. No joke.

I have a friend who lives in MO. She is the most perfect human being if there ever was one. Amazing mom. Very much so a 'goodie good' if you know what I mean. She blogged about transitioning her toddler to a bed. She wrote that she used the child proof door knob things so that he couldn't turn his door knob. It was a simple comment. Someone reported her to child services. knock on the door and now they are stuck in the system of hell.

Just be cautious about what you do, who you tell about. I have read in some parenting books recommendations about baby gates and other methods - ALL methods that restrict the child from physically leaving the room are illegal (maybe not in all states?).

Good luck! 

KatieLG04

[That act in MO can get you written up by social services, mandatory parenting classes, and counseling. No joke.]

I am a social worker and this the most ridiculous thing if that is the only reason she was reported.  A child door knob on the door is hardly abuse or neglect (unless they were left in their room all hours of the day).  It figures, if the kid gets out of their room at night and finds chemicals, meds, knives etc because they aren't supervised it would be a much bigger safety issue.

PokeBride

disbride061103:

No, I would not rubber-band the doors shut. What if there was a fire or something? How would she get out? Or if you were trying to get in it could cause problems. Teach her not to get out of bed and not to open the door.

How is locking the child in their room any different then putting them in a crib when they are younger?  Same fire hazard and it is acceptable to everyone in the crib stage.  You pass that stage and the child went from having now freedom to having free range.  

macchiatto

PokeBride:

disbride061103:

No, I would not rubber-band the doors shut. What if there was a fire or something? How would she get out? Or if you were trying to get in it could cause problems. Teach her not to get out of bed and not to open the door.

How is locking the child in their room any different then putting them in a crib when they are younger?  Same fire hazard and it is acceptable to everyone in the crib stage.  You pass that stage and the child went from having now freedom to having free range.  

Agreed. Or locking them in the house rather than allowing them to potentilaly slip out and roam the neighborhood unsupervised? *That* would be neglect! Our boys are still in cribs so we haven't crossed that bridge yet, but I've heard that about it being illegal in some states and I think that's ridiculous when we're talking about kids as young as 2 or 3.

MrsHughesNC

We don't lock DD's door, but I do close it, and there's a knob cover on the inside. So essentially, she's locked in. I can, of course, easily open it from the inside, and use a video monitor. I feel a lot better doing this than allowing her to get out and roam around at night.

We're having big problems with DD staying in her bed right now too, but with this setup, the worst that happens is her ending up sleeping on the floor.

liyhesiak

meldoo2002:

I would do it.  I think having a toddler locked in their room is safer than having them roaming around without you knowing (like if you are sleeping at night).

 I agree.

I close my daughters door until shes asleep (its never locked, but she hasnt figured out how to open them yet)  

We used to put a gate up right outside her door at night too so she couldnt wander, but we dont anymore.  

KelzinBoston

We put one on DS's door when we recently moved and he was having an incredibly hard time at night.  He also locked himself in his room (hit the lock, and couldn't turn the knob hard enough to unlatch it) and we have to kick a hole in the door to let him out (we rent and didn't have the thing to pole through the hole or a small screwdriver).  We put knob locks that have covers over the lock button.

His room is right next to ours, and I admit we normally don't actually latch his door shut anymore...he just thinks he's locked in.  He always goes right to sleep and if he needs anything from us he knocks to be let out.  If we hadn't had the issue with the lock, I'd probably just take it off for good.