Parenting

I just need to vent

My MIL is driving DH and I nuts.  She has always been the type who has to have everything her way or she acts like a 2 year old.  DH put his foot down with her years ago and we just don't play into those games anymore.  Anyway, the latest is that we get an email from MIL last weekend asking about her and FIL taking the girls to Baby Loves Disco next weekend.  There are 2 time options - Sat which is free but over my girls naps and Sunday which costs but has a later time so way easier for my girls.  I emailed back saying I am sure the girls would love to go and we would prefer to do the Sunday time due to nap (DD #2 will be 3 Sunday and still takes 2-3 hour naps).  MIL emails back saying she gets it about the nap thing but Sat is free.  I then told DH to deal with his mom, I was out of it.  DH sends her a whole email about why we prefered Sun but that we would be willing to try and get DD#2 to nap early but to know that it may very well not work and that she could be crabby/tired at the event but we would be willing to try it if they really preferred the Sat one.

It is a week later and she has not responded to my DH.  He has tried to email her 3 other times.  He would call but when his mom gets like this, she won't answer her phone so its not worth DH's time and energy.

She has not called or emailed us at all.  Tomorrow is my DD#2's birthday party and ILs will be there so this should be interesting.  I know she is not happy that my parents are coming to town and will be at the party - she hates it when my parents come to town because my girls spend more time with my parents than with her and she just can't handle that.  I swear, if she says or does anything at the party tomorrow to take away attention from my DD, I will be so upset.  This is a lady who stopped taking her depression meds when my oldest was in the NICU because she wasn't getting enough attention.

 I so want to call her and tell her to grow up and to say to either do the Baby Loves Disco on Sunday (they have the money, that is so not the issue, its just she wants to do it on Sat for whatever reason) or to skip it - we honestly don't care and the kids don't know they will not be going.

Thanks - vent over!!!!

Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 

Re: I just need to vent

  • I don't mean to sound snarky and I bet I am missing the bigger picture, but I don't think I really understand why you cannot just let them take them on Saturday. They want to save money even though they have it. Do you think she really wants to take them on Saturday to make you angry?

  • imagejustEK:

    I don't mean to sound snarky and I bet I am missing the bigger picture, but I don't think I really understand why you cannot just let them take them on Saturday. They want to save money even though they have it. Do you think she really wants to take them on Saturday to make you angry?

    The thing on Sat is from 1-4 which is the time that my DD always naps.  It is highly unlikely that we will be able to get my DD to nap earilier and even if we do, we would need to wake her which never goes over well.  We did tell MIL that she could take them on Sat but told her that DD#2 might be crabby.  She has never responded.  We were very open in telling her our preference and the reasons but left it up to her to make the final decision.  There is a way bigger picture to this that I didn't get into which is a huge part of why this whole thing drives me so nuts.  And no, MIL never wants to make anyone angry, she just wants it her way.  When she sent me the email asking about the event, she never said "we want to take the kids to this on Sat", she said "we want to take the kids to this, which day works best for you and the girls".  We told her which day worked best for the girls (we have no plans that weekend so that is not an issue) but left it open for them to make the final decision - which they have not since MIL is not liking how we responded to her email.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • Loading the player...
  • It's one nap.  And according to your ticker, she's almost 3?  Yeah.  I think you are way overreacting.  I don't see what the big deal is.
    Kill all my demons and my angels might die too. -Tennessee Williams

    image
    You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
  • imageBubblyToes:
    It's one nap.  And according to your ticker, she's almost 3?  Yeah.  I think you are way overreacting.  I don't see what the big deal is.
    I didn't tell my MIL she could not take her on Sat- we told her DD might be crabby - DD might be 3 but she naps daily for 2-3 hours and she needs her nap.  My older DD is 4 1/2 and still naps about 50% of the time.  We told her our preference for the Sunday over the Sat but left the decision up to her.  I am annoyed but the fact that she just has not responded to any of my DH's emails, she is acting like a 2 year old by not responding.  We gave her our thoughts which is what she asked for and she doesn't like how we responded.  That is why I am venting here, I am fine if DD misses one nap, not my preference as I will need to deal with her when she is overtired but I would do it, I am annoyed at how MIL is not responding.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • My family wanted to take my DS to the parade this weekend, but it starts the exact time of his nap and I just told them no...
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageBubblyToes:
    It's one nap.  And according to your ticker, she's almost 3?  Yeah.  I think you are way overreacting.  I don't see what the big deal is.
      I agree.
    Cheryl, Evan 4.25.05, Paige 7.2.07
  • I guess I missed where she asked for your preference which is odd since she asked to take them on Saturday since it was free in your OP.

    One of you has to give, though. You say she wants to take them on Saturday "for whatever reason". Her reason is because it's free. You are assuming that money is not an issue for them and I think that's a little rude. Even if they have a ton of money, I would not expect someone to pay if they didn't have to.

    The nap thing I get. I used to be really uptight with my kids and their naps. I now realize that they both (2 1/2 & 4 1/2) do absolutely fabulous without a nap when they are having fun. I'm the one with the issues and so used to routine. I actually like them not taking a nap now so they go to bed early.

    If I were you, I would suck it up and let them go on Saturday. It's time with their grandparents and I'm sure they are going to have fun. There are many grandparents that wouldn't even enjoy spending time with their grandkids or some kids that will never get to know a grandparent. I think I would try to work out your relationship, for the kids' sake.

    Do your kids pick up on your attitude toward her? Maybe that's why they like your parents more?

     

     

  • I don' t get why this post is so confusing....

     

    IL's ask to take them to a show on Sat or Sun

    Parents prefer Sunday

    IL's prefer Sat due to cost

    Parent's explain why Sunday is preferred, but that they are okay with working it out for Saturday.

    ILs aren't confirming date.  

     

    Ya'll - SHE NEVER SAID THEY COULDN'T GO ON SATURDAY

     She just wants MIL to acknowledge and confirm the date.  MIL is apparently a whack-a-doo.

     

    OP -- I'd email her one more time.  Tell her that you are making plans for next weekend, and you need to know the plans at the party tomorrow.  If she doesn't get it set in stone with you tomorrow, make other plans (anything - just to have plans).  Then she can mope around about her failure to confirm plans.  

     

  • ::smothers jetta in kisses::

    Seriously, dudes.  READ.

    OP, your MIL is a douche.  I'd cut her off.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Anyway, the latest is that we get an email from MIL last weekend asking about her and FIL taking the girls to Baby Loves Disco next weekend.  There are 2 time options - Sat which is free but over my girls naps and Sunday which costs but has a later time so way easier for my girls.  I emailed back saying I am sure the girls would love to go and we would prefer to do the Sunday time due to nap (DD #2 will be 3 Sunday and still takes 2-3 hour naps).  MIL emails back saying she gets it about the nap thing but Sat is free.  I then told DH to deal with his mom, I was out of it. 

    I took this to mean that OP noticed there were two time options and asked if they could go on Sunday instead. I also took it as her MIL is not responding because of the email she received. I'd be a little peeved if someone expected me to pay when I didn't have to.

    I just think there is more to it. I also think someone has to give to make the relationship work if they want the grandparents in their kids lives. And a nap is not worth fighting about. That's how it started, anyway.

  • Alright, alright. Maybe this is affecting me because my kids don't have a grandparent to take them to an event. I apologize. I don't usually respond this way; feel free to vent. I'm sorry!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"