CIO poll

welshgirl

I'm not intending to cause a volatile discussion, I'm genuinely curious what we all think about it. [Poll]

Rink08

laurelannie:

I think CIO means leaving them alone to cry, I don't think the time matters, I think it's the alone and crying part matters.

This is my feeling as well. We do not use CIO.

JulietL129

laurelannie:

I think CIO means leaving them alone to cry, I don't think the time matters, I think it's the alone and crying part matters.

This. And it's real cry, not fussing. DS definitely has different gears and he fusses if he just has a little gas he needs to work out. He cry, cries when he needs something.

IncogNeato

I don't count it when I'm stuck in the car..... because then I'd feel awful. I'm scared of our road trip today....

andreamom

I agree with PP.  Yesterday DH and I HAD to let DD cry it out in the car b/c we were on the freeway.  DD was a DISASTER the rest of the evening, super clingy, whimpering and sniffling until she finally went down for the night.  This convinced us that CIO before the age of 1 is NOT for us!

cupcakes710

Aww it's horrible when they cry in the car.  Even though my LO usually loves car rides, there have been a few bad ones and it's so hard.  Yesterday DH and I were on the free way and she was screaming!  So finally I had DH scoot his chair up and I climbed in back.  No safe I know but it's too hard for me to listen to that scream.  As soon as she saw me she was all smiles.  So cute.

Kristi221

cupcakes710:

Aww it's horrible when they cry in the car.  Even though my LO usually loves car rides, there have been a few bad ones and it's so hard.  Yesterday DH and I were on the free way and she was screaming!  So finally I had DH scoot his chair up and I climbed in back.  No safe I know but it's too hard for me to listen to that scream.  As soon as she saw me she was all smiles.  So cute.

That's why I still ride in the back with her whenever there are 2 of us in the car! I think she just gets lonely and since she doesn't have object permanence yet, she doesn't really know I'm there up front.

ETA: I think CIO is when you let them cry w/out trying to soothe, no matter how long, even if it is just 5 minutes.

jillybean800

I have to disagree with PP.  CIO is when you leave the baby alone to cry until they stop (crying it OUT).  If your baby is crying and you are going to the bathroom for five minutes, or finishing dinner for five minutes, and then you go get them, that's not crying it out.  

Later (for me personally, I'm thinking 6 months?), if you want to teach a baby to self soothe, you can let them cry for a few minutes, come back in, soothe, leave again, etc, gradually lengthening the time you leave.  That's still not CIO.

canthardlywait426

laurelannie:

I think CIO means leaving them alone to cry, I don't think the time matters, I think it's the alone and crying part matters.

I agree completely.

Moonbeam828

I agree that CIO is moreso just letting your LO cry til he "pulls himself together" (which they can't do at this point), with no intention of going to him to soothe him.  I can tell when DS is just making noise, getting cranky, or is truly in need of attention.  And there are times when I have to get something done (bathroom, washing my hands after handling the chicken I just put in the oven for dinner, etc.) when he gets cranked up but just has to wait til I can get there...but IMO, that's not CIO.

PGASTL

I agree with pp... I think some misguided people heard about the Dr. Ferber method and translated that to = leave your baby in the crib for as many hours as it takes for them to cry to sleep. They called that CIO and then people, appropriately, brought out the pitch forks.

Sometimes, as I posted yesterday, I really believe my LO just needs a minute to herself to cry (when she cried for 6 minutes and passed out for 9 hours).

MrsTechie

"Cry it out" was apparently first mentioned in 1845 in a book called "The Care and Feeding of Children"

Ferber made it a contemporary term but technically, his method is "ferberization" not CIO.

That being said, the technical definition of CIO has morphed into an ambiguous terminology that refers to anything related to letting a small child cry.

I personally define CIO as letting your child cry with no immediate intent to soothe- whether it's 3 minutes, 6 minutes or 10 hours. And I don't believe in it.

 

saram913

jillybean800:

I have to disagree with PP.  CIO is when you leave the baby alone to cry until they stop (crying it OUT).  If your baby is crying and you are going to the bathroom for five minutes, or finishing dinner for five minutes, and then you go get them, that's not crying it out.  

Later (for me personally, I'm thinking 6 months?), if you want to teach a baby to self soothe, you can let them cry for a few minutes, come back in, soothe, leave again, etc, gradually lengthening the time you leave.  That's still not CIO.

I agree with this. SO works late so I am alone at night. Sometimes if DD has been fed and I know she is just fighting sleep I will leave her for a few minutes to go check on DS, start clothes, ect. I always come back every few minutes to give her paci back and soothe her.

Smores730

jillybean800:

I have to disagree with PP.  CIO is when you leave the baby alone to cry until they stop (crying it OUT).  If your baby is crying and you are going to the bathroom for five minutes, or finishing dinner for five minutes, and then you go get them, that's not crying it out.  

I agree with this. My DS has to be left to cry often because I have 2 children and I can't always cater to his needs first or immediately. Honestly I wish I wouldn't have rushed over to my DD every time she cried. She now demands things as if I'm supposed to drop everything I'm doing constantly to tend to her needs first.

 

RSClementine

I have read that by this age, they can be left to cry for 10 minutes, which is what we do.

LO, will usually wimper a bit, and fall asleep on his own within those 10 minutes. If he is really wailing, I go in, and if he cries longer than 10 minutes, I go in. I can tell the difference between a complaining "I don't want to nap cry," and an "I'm uncomfortable" cry. When he doesn't want to nap, his cries start and stop, and taper off fairly quickly.