It didn't work :-(

cutebride73

My beta is tomorrow, but I've been testing the last couple days - all BFN's.  Although this was my first IVF, I've been around long enough to know that it's not good and very unlikely to end differently. 

And with my 3 losses - I had symptoms every time, even with the c/p's.  So I just know this didn't work.   

We can't afford another IVF, we had a little IF insurance and it was pretty much all used up with this.  OOP is out of the question for us.  Plus, I am guessing egg quality will be what is decided was at least part of the issue, so is it even worth it to try again.   

I just don't know how I will deal the possibilty of never being pregnant again, of never having a baby with DH.  I have my DD, but she is 20 and in college.  Obviously, I never thought it would take this long, I was a single mom for a long time.  It took a long time to meet the right guy.  DH is being so sweet and supportive.  Telling me how much he loves me and is so happy to be with me, with or without kids.  I just never thought this would happen.   

I feel numb right now.  We may go back and try IUI again or meds and TI.  I don't know.  DH seems to have a morph issue as well.  I guess after they call with the beta (or lack of) I will set up a WTF appt. 

IF and loss both just fvcking suck.      

Also, if you have any spare thoughts and prayers, my dad is having a serious surgery tomorrow (bypass on his leg).  He has had so many health problems lately, it has weakened him and with his age (84) I am just praying that he will make it through the surgery.  Thanks. 

butterfly843

Sending hugs your way, I'm sorry. Will keep your dad in my thoughts and prayers.

GuppyAmy

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. This totally sucks! My RE had some insights and suggestions at our WTF appointment. Hopefully, yours can provide some insight.

Your dad is in my prayers. I've had a bunch of patients respond really well to the bypass on the their legs- I hope he responds the same way. Much love to you. Again I'm so sorry.

cutebride73

GuppyAmy:

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. This totally sucks! My RE had some insights and suggestions at our WTF appointment. Hopefully, yours can provide some insight.

Your dad is in my prayers. I've had a bunch of patients respond really well to the bypass on the their legs- I hope he responds the same way. Much love to you. Again I'm so sorry.

Thanks Amy.  With my dad - I had never even heard of that surgery before now.  I am just worried, his heart is not in great shape either.  I mean they approved him for the surgery, it's just with his mini-stroke and the dialysis - it is all just taking so much out of him.  I hope he responds like some of your patients have. 

LilMaggs

*huge hugs*  I'm so sorry.  Many T&P's headed to you and your dad.

GuppyAmy

The patients I had we're popliteal bypass (I'm assuming this is what your dad is having) and the one lady I'm thinking of had a weak heart and was on dialysis and made it through. It was hard because of the weakness it caused from where the incision was. Anyway, I wish you all luck. If there is anything I can do, besides pray, feel free to let me know.

Fififa21

I?m so sorry :-( Sending lots of prayers to you and your family and I hope all goes well with your father.

Court1

I'm so sorry hun.  Sending T&P & hugs your way.

heathergirl67

I'm so sorry. I hope your RE has some ideas. I also think you should plan a fun, relaxing trip with your DH soon. Something to get your mind off things and maybe give you a chance to get refreshed. IF takes so much out of us emotionally.

DoingItRight

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

I am so sorry that this is all happening.  IF SUCKS!!!

pennynjon

I am so so sorry.  I am glad you have such an amazing husband who is so supportive.  You and your dad will be in my prayers.  ((huge hugs))

AmyRM

I'm so sorry. Your story sounds so familiar, as a once single mom myself waiting so long for the right man, then being so defeated. I completely understand.

*HUG*

Good luck to your Dad - and you. Take care. 

suntoto

The universe can suck on goat balls.  I am so sorry.  This process is so stupid and unfair.  Their really aren't words to describe the pain of it all.  Big hugs to you.  We are always here if you need us, and I will keep your dad in my T&P.

ColleenS629

Oh my gosh... I'm so sorry. T&P for you and your dad.

KristysRedBarn

I'm so sorry.  I will be thinking of you dad.

cutebride73

Thanks ladies - I appreciate you all so much.  Went for my beta this am, now I just wait for the call.  My dad's surgery is at 12:30pm, so I am just trying to think about that and pray for him instead. 

You girls are the best. 

ade2be

Oh hun.  I am so sorry.  I was hoping and praying your one embryo was a fighter.  I know you have some tough choices ahead of you.  I was actually in your DH's shoes....my DH has kids of his own, but I didn't.  I know you're heartbreaken over the possibility of never being able to have kids with him.  Lots of hugs

Also, I'll be praying that your dad's surgery goes well.

babes12

**ticker warning**

 

I'm so sorry cutebride.  My heart goes out to you and your family.  I so wish nobody had to go through this, it's just not fair.  ((hugs))

and T&P's for your dad. 

EntropicEpona

I'm so sorry, sweetheart. This is all so unbelievably hard. :-(

mdm2137

I am so sorry. Big hugs, hon.

Olive44

I'm so sorry.  Thinking of you and your dad.

KelinandKevin

I am so sorry!  It just doesn't seem fair!!  Lots of thoughts going to your dad!

bbhalphen

I'm so sorry!  I hate this whole process.

TeacherVicky

I'm so so sorry to hear this. I will keep your dad in my T&P's.

(((Big huge hugs)))