Sad today

arozumovich

Do you ever have one of those days when you can't think of a better thing to do but get in bed? That would sum up my overall feelings for today.

 I have a beautiful healthy 18 month old DD. We love her to pieces, but I was due to have a baby May 20th this year, we lost it in October- now one of our long lost friends pops up and tells us they are due on May 18th (they don't know that we had a miscarriage). Then our other friends won't tell us, but I know they are pregnant because they did IVF and it's been about 6 weeks and they wont leave the house because she "doesn't feel well."

  We TTC this month, but nothing. I know it's only the first month really trying since our loss, but with everyone around me being pregnant I am so sad. I wanted a baby before the yucky winter months, so now we are not going to TTC again until summer. I want to be happy for them, but I just can't right now. Any suggestions to get out of the funk? A sunny day would help! Thanks for listening...

sistrkate

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. 

Any loss is difficult, and this winter has been especially long.  With your EDD coming up, I'm not surprised you are feeling so sad.  Just take very good care of yourself and let your DD be your sunshine.  I also experienced a loss after my first child, and he helped brighten a lot of days for me.

Big hugs to you.

Ttimes3

I wish I had something extremely profound to say (see post below, I'm running on near-mental-empty, today); however, I do hate that your heart is hurting.

Here's a e-zombie hug for you.

klee411

BIG HUGS to you right now. And please know you're not alone in feeling sad. I'm definitely in a funk lately. I also have a wonderful 18 month old DS but I too had M/C not too long ago and we've been TTC ever since with no luck. I know this process takes time, but man, TTC beats you up mentally especially when friends around you get PG while you're still trying. So I know exactly how you feel!

I just try to stay as busy as I can with my son, DH, and my family. And we're still trying for #2 so I figure it'll happen when the time is right. I also hope spring and sunshine will brighten my mood because it just feels like this winter has been really, really long for some reason.

Again, <<<BIG HUGS>>>.

KYmama9286

((hugs)) I am so very sorry for your loss :-( I cant imagine how difficult it would be with that date approaching. It is totally understandable to be down and feeling sad. TTC is SO VERY hard and its such a mental roller coaster as it is but when you add in the grief from a loss it just makes it sting that much more. I will be sending T&P your way that things get better in the coming days. I often think that the sadness that comes when TTC your 2nd, 3rd, etc. child is often overlooked because we "already have a child". I know that nobody on this board feels that way but I often get the feeling that people have that sentiment towards me when I verbalize my frustrations.

I had a really rough month last month for some reason (I think its a combo of hormones, my DS turning 1 and having NUMEROUS pregnant people around me). This month I made a promise that I was going to stay positive by keeping myself busy. Have you thought about trying to plan some special things to look foward to instead of focusing on where you are in your cycle, the 2ww, etc. I tried to pick things that I couldnt do if I was pregnant. I am going to go out of town to visit some family with just Nicholas, I am planning on getting a massage, I have a gift certificate for a mani/pedi, I plan on going on a special date night to a new restaurant with DH. I was horribly sick during my last pregnancy and on bedrest for most of it so I want to enjoy the things that I may not be doing for 9 months if things go the way they did last time.

I am also really focusing on doing fun stuff while its just me and Nicholas. I am taking him for a long walk at least 3x/week, going on special outings to Totter Otterville, plan on going to the zoo once things get warmer, going to the park, etc. Just cherishing that I can devote all my time and attention to him which wont happen once baby #2 comes along. 

I know its no substitute to actually getting pregnant and I think you are perfectly valid in wanting to just lounge at home and grieve but I will say that this month has been much easier once I made these adjustments. I havent been as focused on TTC, and as a result I've been more content, in better spirits, less stressed. I hope you have a better tomorrow and that things start to look brighter soon! ((hugs)) Feel better, mama!

stillwaiting12

I'm sorry. I just want to offer you a big hug. I know TTCing can be absolutely horrible emotionally and with multiple pregnant people around it's that much harder. I also know how stressful it can be leading up to an edd. I hope things get better for you soon with the changing season. ((hugs))

kmn3

I'm with you today.  We too had a m/c and are in our now 2nd month of TTC, it sucks!  I keep thinking about "how pregnant" I should be today, I can't shake it!

Hoping you feel better soon!