I just sobbed uncontrollably in my car

Sarahgracesc

On my way home from my workout that one stupid song came on the radio again. I couldn't force myself to change the station, even though I knew it would be a poor choice to listen to it. It's almost like I feel the need to punish myself when it comes on.

So I sat in my car sobbing, tears streaming down my face, thinking about how incredibly damaged I am. I don't want to be with STBX, in fact, I really can't stand him 99% of the time and he was a terrible husband. But there are like 2 songs that remind me of the days when things were good...when we were dating and first married.

 And then I think about how incredibly damaged I am for crying about a song and a STBX that I don't even like, and wonder how anyone in their right mind would ever want to be with me again. And then I get depressed.

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

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julia0402

I'm so sorry.  It's going to get better with time.  It is. 

::hugs::

warriormomerin

Sometimes these emotions have less to do with missing a specific person and more to do with the fear of being alone. It's a very human response and not something you should beat yourself up about.

achase123

((HUGS)) it's ok to feel those emotions.

sweetie0228

Would you beat yourself up over crying to a song that reminded you of a friend or family memeber that died?  You are still grieving that your dream died.  It's okay to grieve and eventually it won't hurt as much to the point that you will be able to listen to the song, remember the good memory and leave it at that.

Mel007

sweetie0228:

Would you beat yourself up over crying to a song that reminded you of a friend or family memeber that died?  You are still grieving that your dream died.  It's okay to grieve and eventually it won't hurt as much to the point that you will be able to listen to the song, remember the good memory and leave it at that.

This is so true!  I have that one song with an ex (not DB) and it took awhile but eventually I was able to listen to the song again and think of the good memory and just move past it with a smile instead of crying.  I'm sorry you're feeling down but know it will get better like everyone has said!  ((HUGS)) 

fromthewomb

I do the same thing randomly. So I made a playlist of upbeat songs like "forget you" by cee lo green and "Ignorance" by Paramore. I just switch over when THAT SONG comes on the radio... ^_^

 

Hope this helps.