C-Section Nightmare

jumpers

A few nights ago I had a nightmare that during labor they told me that I needed to have a c-section (you should know that I'm not even pregnant right now). I was hysterical. When I woke up I felt very upset and couldn't get back to sleep. DH tried his best to comfort me, but I was in tears for the rest of the night. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to accept having a c-section again, but I know right now it would make me feel terribly depressed. This makes me think that we are no way near ready to try for another. Thoughts or advice on how you talked yourself through the possibility of having one again?

Traycee1242

I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience that it is making you question if you should have another child. Have you thought about therapy??? While I am hoping to VBAC with this baby, I know its not a given. And to be honest if I have another c/s I will be 100% okay with it... Because I want another child no matter how they come in to the world.
I hope you get the help you need. Hugs.

iris427

It's really hard for me to think about having another c/s too.  But of course it's always a possibility and there are only two ways to get a baby out, so I'm trying to make peace with it as much as possible.

First, I tell myself that even if I have a c/s, it doesn't have to be the same kind of experience as my first.  There are lots of people who have had wonderful cesarean births, even unplanned ones, and that can be me.

Second, I am going to make a c/s birth plan.  Obviously if I have another unplanned c/s I might not get to have all of those options work out, especially if it's an emergency.  But making a list of my preferences helps me feel like I can have a voice in the process, even if it wasn't the birth I wanted.

Third, I am going to have a doula.  I had a doula at my first birth but a c/s wasn't even on my radar as a real possibility, so we never talked about it and then it just kind of happened.  This time I'm going to talk to my doula about how we can make a c/s the best birth possible.

HTH 

princess101

I checked around to the local hospitals that my insurance covers and found that the other main hospital allows pictures in the O.R (as in first pics of mom and baby etc), recovery WITH the baby rather than separate and prefers Mom hold the baby asap on her chest which I reallly really want.

What is it you feel you missed by having a c/section? For me it was the bonding with the baby and first pics etc. I felt removed from the experience and baby was just whisked away for about an hour and everyone else got to hold him which really upset me. SO, since those were my main issues, we've expressed that nobody is to hold the baby before me and Dh. IF I can't hold baby right away everyone else will have to wait, period. I feel a little selfish but I refuse to give that up again. I was so naive the first time and didn't know how long baby and I would be apart. Recovering WITH my baby is huge and i'm really hoping that it will help to not feel so removed like last time.

Express your wishes...see what the hospital is willing to do, or not do and base where you want to give birth on that. I'd rather deliver 25 minutes away than 5 mins away but give up the things I want..kwim? 

Also realize that in the end all that matters if a healthy happy baby and Mom. I think it is possible to have a positive c/section and i'm going to try my hardest if there's no way that I can VBAC. Only time will tell for me but regardless this baby getting here is the end result.