I want to quit

firefightersgal

I met with our social worker in our home again today.  She has been here before and pointed a few things out that needed to be changed before the health department come, but seemed generally fine with everything.  That was not the case today.  She said that everything will have to be completely perfect when the health department comes out.  Everything.  Also, our porch is under construction and she said it will have to be finished before she has the health department come out.  Because of the weather, it hasn't been touched since the fall.  I'm not sure when we can get a construction crew out.  We don't even have a quote for the rest of the work at this point.  She also said the health department lady denied a family for not having their paperwork in the order she wanted.  She refused to look through it and wrote them up for it.

I thought we were almost done and now it seems like light years away.  I just want walk away from this entire foster/adopt thing.  It has been nothing but a headache all along and it has barely begun.  I feel like an idiot for buying a crib and a few other baby items.

::vent/pout/whine over::

MrsKolasa

So frustrating.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, that would make anyone discouraged. However, please don't give up just yet. You've come this far.

livinglosing

We had a not finished patch on our back wall and had some supplies on a shelf from finishing the tile in our kitchen, stove not hooked up and passed with Jo problem. I would call the HD and ask them. GL!

so1966

i'm sorry. you know we are her to root you on through the tough and crazy times of this journey.  it will all be worth it ultimately. ((HUGS))

sfimpler

Everything will work out.... do you have any friends that could help finish the deck or "make it look finished"  We had a plumbing issue and our SW said it would be ok... as long as we had a quote for the work ... so that it appeared we were getting this taken care of.

firefightersgal

According to the social worker, it will have to be complete--roof, rails, and spindles.

butterfly843

((hugs)) sorry you are having such a tough time. Will keep you in my thoughts and I'm sure it will all work out.

silliestbunny

Argh!!  So frustrating.

CaptainSerious

I agree, please don't quit.  My process to adopt M hit upon so many roadblocks, I can't even list them all.  It took us 2.5 years, and there were many times I was reduced to tears and came here venting and/or upset, because I was sure we were at the end of the road.  And now we have him, and I can tell you every step--although many were pointless and are still aggravating to think about--every step was worth it.

I believe that a lot of the obstructions to fostering/adoption are put in place for no other reason than to see how determined and patient the person is.  Play the game, jump through the hoops, and they'll be convinced.  Do what you can to get your house in order and get what you can done on the deck finished.  If (regarding the deck) that's nothing, then just get an estimate for the work.  Meet with the health department and see what they say.  If they really have a problem with it, surely they'll give you a chance to fix the issue and have them come back out at a later date.  It may delay you, but at least you are still on the way to your future child.

715inNC

It's so tough to keep moving through the paperwork/red tape in the beginning, but as you know...it's so worth it in the end!

 

Don't give up!

Floridamom224

I would call the health department and talk to them.  Our SW kept saying that the guy from the health dept had denied people over the littlest things, and it just depended on his "mood" that day.  Wow, that was really uplifting!!!!!  The thing was, I knew the guy, and he inspects our school.  I spoke with him before I scheduled the appt and he told me that the agency was losing foster homes left and right and that he was glad to see we were being relicensed because they really need good homes.  I gave him an overview of our house since we had moved since he had last been out to inspect us.  I NEVER stay when he is there, I put DH in charge of that because it just gets to overwhelming for me because I let my nerves get the best of me.  Anyways, Iwould call and see what they say about everything

lolo2011

Dont give up and dont quit.  I never realized how  hard this journey would be but it will be worth it in the end.  I am sorry your SW is not being supportive.  I have also said many times I am just going to quit and cant take anymore but we have come so far we cant stop now.

Do not feel like an idiot for getting a crib and other items.  You WILL need them and WILL use them.  I have everything from crib to car seat to stroller to high chair not to mention tons and tons of neutral clothes.  My sister gave me her old boy clothes and when we thought we were having a girl placed with us last week we ran and got tons of pink.  Now we have everything for every situation.  Even though that match did  not work out, we know one will.  That is what this board taught me.

Keep the items in one room with the door closed.  I have everything in the baby room and some days I can't go in and other days it gives me comfort to go look at the clothes and all of the other things and dream of my day.

militarywife2b

Don't quit DH and I are doing foster/adopt as well. We were informed out of nowhere that we need to have a fairly completed nursery completed. So we had to buy a crib and all the fixings within a week because she wanted it in place before her next visit. We are  7 classes into our 9 week classes and I am glad we stuck around.

JOEBunny

It makes me sad for your waiting child.  Don't give up.  You will be a great mom to a second child.