Children's book instead of a card?

gemini2005

We had a little saying printed on the back of the shower invitations requesting a children's book instead of getting a card. I just noticed the post below and a few people said asking for books, diapers or extra gifts was rude/tacky. Does it still seem rude if you are asking people for a book (useful) instead of a card (wasteful)? In the saying, guest were asked to write the baby a little inscription (i thought it was a cute idea). I will feel bad if people think we are gift greedy...what do you think? Thanks!

watermellens

I love the idea but I know lots of people on this board will probably say that it's tacky.

Mrs.B6302007

 I registered for books that I really wanted in our library. That way, my book-loving friends (teachers) could give books as their gifts rather than in addition to unless they felt so inclined.

Personally, it would rub me the wrong way a bit if I saw that on an invite.  For one, it's asking me to buy an extra gift and it kind of comes across as "this is what you can't do" (give a card).   It just seems to me that it's not okay to put stipulations on people's generosity, KWIM?

NickyCicc20

I would still give a card so I don't think it would actually replace anything.  That being said, I love books and love giving them so it wouldn't offend me personally if someone said to bring a book as an extra.  But I think it's an exception.  I despise wishing wells at Wedding Showers.

calhoun53009

It's really all about what is acceptable in your circle.  For example, the ladies on this board don't agree with diaper raffles (for the most part anyways).  In my family and friend circle, this is expected at showers.  You don't even need to put it on the invite b/c people bring diapers for a diaper raffle automatically.  Personally, I think the book idea is cute, but like some of the others had said, I would bring a card too.

rhubarb123

I've attended some showers that have requested a book in replace of a card.  I just can't bring myself to write in a book so I always get a card anyway.  By the way, I do deduct the $8-10 that I spend on a book from the total I spend on the gift.

Aaron'sWife

Tacky! As PPs have said, stiplulating what people should bring is not okay.

Jennifer2008

I personally HATE wishing wells, diaper raffles, etc. (but have never seen these in real life) but LOVE the book idea (and have seen this in real life). 

gemini2005

Thanks for the input!  It's pretty common around here to ask for a kid's book to build up the babies library but I just thought it would make the guests not spend the extra money on a card.  I would probably bring a card though, too!

Kdonn15

I love the idea and do not think it is tacky.  In my opinion you are requiring that guests bring a book to enter the shower venue just like you aren't requiring they bring a gift or even a gift from your registry.  If registering is ok and including registry info with the invite (NOT necessarily ON the invite but like an insert type thing) I don't see a problem with it.  I've kept nearly every card I've ever received from someone and truthfully while the sentiment is nice, they end up in shoe boxes in my junk room cause I feel too bad about throwing them away.  Also, any card I find that's cute enough to give to a baby shower recipient is at least $2.99.......my grocery store has books in the check out line for that much.....kids and parents enjoy books more than cards in my circle.

Jenniferk08

I think the books are cute. I'm an avid reader and have been since I was young so to me the books are a good idea and something to pass down when LO is older and has kids of their own (if the books last that long)

Ceridwen21

Card = $2 

Book = $10+

If you want books, then register for books.

aliciabee

I think the book idea is great!  I am an English teacher and books are very important to me, so I plan on using this idea also.  Personally if I am close enough to the person to be invited to their shower, I'm not going to complain about having to spend an extra 3-5 bucks on the book instead of a card, but if there are people who refuse to pay the extra money, you can always go to a dollar store or some place similar and get a book for a dollar or two. 

AZ123

I like the idea of registering for books but I don't think you put it on the invite. It is like adding one more chore to your guests of something they have to buy.

Also, I don't think it is necessary. You'll get a lot of books over the years. Especially, at the first birthday party. And, if you're a book loving kind of person, you're going to get books from book sales and hand-me-downs.  I would stick to requesting items that are a necessity at this point.

numeria11

Personally I don't think it is tacky at all.  For the people who say it makes them spend more on a gift I call BS.  You can go to a book store and pick up a small kids book (hello golden books or the dollar bins at Target or the Dollar Store) for 1 - 3 bucks, the same price as the average greating card that will get tossed in the trash. 

We did this same thing for our shower and I love that we have tons of books for DD that have special messages from our friends and family in each of them. Each time we read her a book we tell her who gave it to her and read her their inscription.  Because of doing this we have well over 90 books for her from all of our showers and baby gifts after she was born.  I now do this for every shower I go to and every baby gift I give, why waste the paper and the money on a card when I can give the kid a book to enjoy instead?

numeria11

And yes kids books can cost more than 2-3 bucks and yes usually I give one that costs 10 or 15 to share some of my favorites from DD with my friends who are having LOs, but that is my choice I could just as easily have done what I mentioned above and not spent anymore than I would have on a card.  We got a wide variety of books when we did this some that cost a buck or 2 and others that cost 15 or more but that was the giver's decision not me telling them what to buy.

alm0309

I see nothing wrong with this.  I think it is a cute extra and you do not have to participate if you do not want to.  I would never view it as being rude.  I think it is a nice idea!

ilovebabyblue

numeria11:

Personally I don't think it is tacky at all.  For the people who say it makes them spend more on a gift I call BS.  You can go to a book store and pick up a small kids book (hello golden books or the dollar bins at Target or the Dollar Store) for 1 - 3 bucks, the same price as the average greating card that will get tossed in the trash. 

 

Exactly!  You can even find books for cheaper than greeting cards!  This isn't put on an invite as a demand, only a suggestion.  If someone brings a card instead of a book, or even a gift bag with a to/from tag, no one will think anything about it.  I don't understand all of the bitterness on this board.  If you don't care enough about the baby to stick a $3 book with a nice inscription into the gift bag and you're going to call the mother and hostess tacky, then why not just skip the shower?  As far as it being tacky, what's tacky is for people to complain about it.  Just stay home.  I'm so glad I don't have people like this in my life. 

cozylittlecave

NickyCicc20:

I would still give a card so I don't think it would actually replace anything.  That being said, I love books and love giving them so it wouldn't offend me personally if someone said to bring a book as an extra.  But I think it's an exception.  I despise wishing wells at Wedding Showers.

This for me. I LOVE the idea of buying a book and writing something special for the new baby (especially since I love so many children's books), but my mom is not doing it for my shower because I already have so many books (we saved all of ours)! I think the reason I don't find it tacky is because I'd be so excited to share one of my fav books and know the mom wanted to start a baby library.

That said, any other type of thing like this I abhor... and not everyone loves giving books as much as the PP and I. 

Corts

I really like the book idea. I just really don't get the whole point of "instead of a card". How will the gift be labeled otherwise?

In my family & circle we always do wishing wells. The stuff thrown in there never cost more then a dollar or two. If it is common practice in your area, I think saying, "in lieu of a wishing well, we will be doing a baby's library" is better. That way no one feels pressured to buy an expensive book. And since none of the books or wishing well stuff is ever labled, they don't have to participate if they don't want to without looking cheap.

Luma88

Ceridwen21:

Card = $2 

Book = $10+

If you want books, then register for books.

A few years ago I got a shower invite that had this, and additionally told me what letter the book should start with.  The cheapest cute book I could find was like $7. I did find it a tad annoying.  

However, now that I am pregnant myself I think the idea is cute and I can appreciate it.  But as a shower guest, it is something extra that you have to get, so I can see guests disliking it.  

neoangel06

I absolutely LOVE this idea! Helping build your child's library and then including something personal from each person is a great idea! Cards now days are getting to be kind of expensive and I think sometimes you can find a book around the same price!

If you spend and extra few dollars on a book instead of a card all you have to do is knock that off what you were going to spend on the gift! No big deal!

FacciaBella83

I think you should do whatever YOU want because there is always someone who will have something critical to say...such is life, and we move on.  If you like the book idea, go for it.  

I personally have nothing against the book idea, beside the risk of duplicate books that are unable to be exchanged because of the personal notes written inside.

People get so nuts about these things and I don't know why.  Just factor in the cost of the "extra" gift when buying the main gift....no big whoop.  

SoBlessed2011

FacciaBella83:

I think you should do whatever YOU want because there is always someone who will have something critical to say...such is life, and we move on.  If you like the book idea, go for it.  

I personally have nothing against the book idea, beside the risk of duplicate books that are unable to be exchanged because of the personal notes written inside.

People get so nuts about these things and I don't know why.  Just factor in the cost of the "extra" gift when buying the main gift....no big whoop.  

This! In my circle of friends giving a book in lieu of a card is common. We love giving our favorite children's books.  But to each their own. Some people will give and other will not.  No big deal. I say go for it! 

korydean

we are doing the same thing essentiallly but its called a Diaper Derbry which asks guests to bring in addition to the gift a small package of diapers and all those who do will get a prize and i reallly like the idea it would be super helpful yet i feel like i was asking to much but then i realized you know what? those who want to help can and those who dont? well thats fine too

MintHill_Bride

We did the book instead of a card poem inserted in our invitations, and i dont think it is rude if worded the right way, the books dont have to be new, we got several used books and the cutest inscriptions in them, i think it is so special that our family and friends passed along their own favorite books to our little boys collection. Besides, it was a request not an order! I think it is all in how you word it and ask not demand!