In YOUR opinion, what things are always tacky/rude?

AnneShirleyBlythe

Just doing a straw poll :-) 

What are the non-negotiables to you?

This could apply to wedding and baby showers, hosts/honorees/guests.

 

rangel814

SIL planned her shower for baby #2 (another boy), complete with full registry and her own name listed as the hostess on invitations. Then she crammed all the guests into her tiny living room the entire time with most of the talk centered on her complaints about bed rest and feeling so "huge." (She's tiny. Refused to eat so she gained less than 20 pounds her entire pregnancy. Many of the non-pregnant guests probably weighed more than she did at 34 weeks preggo) 

I know some people have disagreed but I still feel that throwing yourself a shower is tacky, throwing yourself a shower for a 2nd child is even worse, and complaining the entire time instead of enjoying yourself and making guests feel welcomed is just rude.

EastCoastBride

* Throwing yourself a shower

* Making people pay to eat

* Asking for gift cards/cash/small gifts only

* Throwing full-blown showers for 2nd/3rd/4th kids (I can roll w/ "sprinkles" that are truly your nearest and dearest)

On the flip side, the one issue that I could care less about and I actually kind of always find amusing how up in arms people get over it - asking guests to write out their own addresses.  Now, granted, I hate getting mail in MY handwriting, but at the same time, I see it as helping the mom out and I don't feel she is being lazy by me filling it out.  This is just one of those "eh" issues for me. Didnt' have it done at my shower, but I take no offense when I've been asked to do it.

Corts

Going to a party where there is not enough food (especially at a mealtime). Ditto for the beverages. That's just horrid manners IMO.

danilynn17

- Hosting your own shower

- Asking for gifts without having a shower of some sort

- Having guests pay for their own food 

- Turning it into a fundraiser where you hit up your guests for everything (i.e. bring a book, diaper raffle and wishing well on top of your regular gift)

-  Not sending thank yous. 

MsManners

All of the above.

Since you said weddings too, I will add inviting someone to a shower when they are not invited to the wedding. This just happened to me last week. My husband thinks I should send a gift (it's for his cousin) but apparently we are going to be invited to a reception for people who "couldn't attend" (aka weren't invited to) their wedding and I honestly don't want to reward their tacky behavior with two gifts.

PunkyBooster

Planning your own shower. Registering for ALL new things for #2, #3, etc.

I cannot stand it when I have to address my own thank you card at showers. 

Otherwise...I don't think anything really annoys me that much. 

BLM10

In MY opinion...

throwing your own shower

sending evites (just do not like it)

registering only at boutique places

asking for additional items (books, diapers)

asking for cash, checks or gift cards

registering for mostly large/pricey items

asking guests to pay for food (worse, not letting them know til they have eaten)

asking guests to fill out their own thank-you envelope

not opening gifts at the shower (regardless of reason)

sending thank-yous after 6 months+ (or after birth announcements)

making it "adult only" but allowing certain exceptions

 

shortstuff15

Basically in my circle the only rude thing is not sending thank-you cards.  Pretty much anything else I would be able to handle.  I was disappointed when my church to ask my sister to host my bridal shower, but that's just because I wanted her to not have to worry about that (in my area our church throws the shower and asks a friend or family member to host).

calhoun53009

Nothing bothers me more than when people don't send thank you cards or even offer a verbal thank you.  DH and I send birthday and anniversary cards to people in our close family and there are a certain few that NEVER say thank you.  Not via text.  Not via facebook.  Nothing.  A simple "hey we got your card, thanks for thinking of us would do.  We're still waiting after giving a family member a very nice graduation gift and money for graduating last June.  Needless to say over the years, we've SIGNIFICALLY decreased our gift giving.  Sorry didn't mean to turn this into a vent lol

melody921

Throwing your own shower, demanding someone else throw you a shower, saying you'd like to have money instead of gifts, not writing thank you notes, not being grateful to the guests who arrived to celebrate with you.

Skibunny07

from experience from just one horrible shower I went to

-Don't invite people that you don't know all that well (i.e. I had to go to my SIL's SIL's baby shower... yes thats right the sister of my DH's sisters husband... ugh... apparently we're all family now)

-If the party starts at 12:00 noon and you are at a restaurant then the food should be served no later then 12:15-12:30, its a buffet, people can get the food as they come in if they come late. If not then at least have some appetizers out for people to munch on

- Don't wait until every single person is done eating to start opening the present (especially if you already waited an hour to serve the food).

 

Some other ones

Don't make people pay for their own food... drinks is ok to be but not food, if you can't afford it then have a smaller shower to have it at a house with some appetizers that you bought at Costco.  

Don't wait to long to send thank you notes (the only exception to this is my SIL gave birth the day after her shower at 4 weeks early, she still didn't send the invites super late but she could have been given a ltitle bit of a grace period if she needed it).

Don't ask for certain things like money, gift cards, etc.  

RoxyLynn

Hosting your own shower

Guests paying for their food

Showers for second- or third-time Moms; yes, even if #2 is 12 years younger than the first and has a different father.

Asking guests to address their own TY notes (I've never seen this in my life, but I've read about it on here)

Asking guests to bring a book, a pack of diapers, etc.

Raffles.  They're for charity, not showers.

mikeandjenn

This whole idea of addressing your own thank you note is just..... APPALING! I mean...... people really do this?! And..... how did they get the invitation in the first place if you didn't have their address?! Wow

rhubarb123

- Hosting your own shower

- Asking guests to pay for their food

- Asking for cash or gift cards

- Sending E-vites (never have I accepted an e-vite to a shower...parties yes...showers no)

- Writing out my own address on thank you card envelops.  I realize it helps the mom-to-be but I already brought a gift.  If the hostess wants to do this...fine.  Why would the mom-to-be not have time?  It's not like she's got a baby yet...but I do!

Aaron'sWife

Asking for additional gifts (especially books instead of cards).

I dislike it so much, I made it a part of my siggy from an epic thread.

mrs.conananan

- Not enough food/drinks

- Too big of a guest list in too small a venue

- People throwing their own showers

- Asking for specific things (cash/giftcards)

- Really stupid games!

- People showing up REALLY late, without informing the host

- RSVP issues

jesstellina

A friend of a friend had a big shower for her second child AND sent emails out to everyone she knew asking them to participate in a 50/50 raffle guessing when the baby would be born & how much he would weigh, etc. The winner would get half the money, the couple would keep the other half... TACKY!!!

neoangel06

I think the only thing that would bother me is asking for money instead of gifts or having to buy your own food! Anything else probably wouldn't be a problem.

I don't see why people really get annoyed by 2nd baby showers. I guess I'm just used to how it works here. I already have people asking am I going to be having one and who is planning it!

northtamarack

When people bring children to showers.  For example, the last shower I attended one lady brought her baby.  Then, she went on and on about her baby and made other people hold it.  I felt so bad for the mom to be - the attention wasn't on her at all.  In an other case, someone brought their two year old boy and he ran through the house like a mad man.  Totally took away from the shower. 

Not planning appropriately for the number of people for the space. 

Being asked to bring another gift (book, diapers, etc)

Playing games.