I hate my life....

srbmvp

I don't think I'm going to ever get out of this PPD unless I make some sort of change to my life, but I don't know what to do... (this is a vent, I'm not looking for someone to tell me what to do, hahaha).

I hate my job. It stresses me out, I don't enjoy it, I don't make much money, etc. I know the easy answer is to just go find a new job, but it's not that easy. I'm in a unique field and there's nowhere else in town to do what I do, and I'm not about to pick up my family and move right now. So changing jobs would be changing careers, and I don't think I could handle the stress that comes with that right now, not with this stupid depression.

And I don't even know what career I would change to, because the bottom line is that I would much rather be a SAHM. I know the best thing for my family right now is for me to work and bring in a paycheck, but dammit, I hate being away from DS all day long. I get a few hours of chaos with him in the morning while we try to get ready, an hour or two at night before bathtime, and weekends. It's just not enough.

So basically, I'm screwed. Unless I can suck it up and get the courage to find a new job/career, I am stuck here, where I am miserable. And while being here and miserable, I'm not sure I will ever get past my depression.

Sigh.... okay, vent over. Thanks for listening.

ronitoswife

Hang in there! I know it seems like a never ending cycle but things do get better. At least they seem better. With my first son PPD started around 7 months and seemed like it lasted forever. And while it did take time, it did get better. Which gives me hope that I will snap out of it again. At some point I know I will!