8yo with a cell phone

SarieP

I am torn.  Part of me thinks this is absolutely ridiculous, but another part of me thinks it is teaching responsibility (though maybe age-inappropriate).  My step-daughter is 8 and told us over the weekend that her mom is buying her a prepaid cell phone tomorrow.  She is really excited about it.  Apparently her mom is making her pay the $2/day for unlimited talk/text out of her allowance.  I don't see any reason whatsoever for an 8 year old to have a cell phone.  Her mom is too lazy to get her involved in afterschool activities so it's not like she needs it for emergencies since she is always home if she isn't at school.  I think it is even more ridiculous to let a kid have unlimited talk/text!!!  But of course, this is the same mother who allows her 8yo to have a facebook account. 

 What do you think?

 

Sammysu

The fact that she is no extra activities seems that it is not necessary to have one and the fact that it is prepaid means that she will not be able to track what DD is actually doing with her phone. I don't think it's a good plan but to each it's own.

debbiezoey

My 8 year old daughter has a cell phone that we got her for Christmas.  She totally doesn't need it, and we regard it more as a "toy" or other electronic gadget.  Money really wasn't an issue as I just added her to the family plan.  We have 1400 minutes total and she has unlimited pcture/video and text messages.  She actually has the same phone that I do!

I thought long and hard about it as I knew it was more of a luxury item than a necessity but then I caved!   It is teaching her responsibility though and she's done a very good job of keeping track of it.  If she forgets to bring it with her when we go someplace then she has to deal with it.  She charges it herself and keeps in the same spot every night when we go to bed. 

We live in a small town and she goes out on bike rides or long walks with her dogs and friends so it's been used more than once for that occasion of keeping in touch.  She has a few other friends that have phones or borrow their parents phones and they have SO much fun texting each other (often while in the same room, if not sitting next to each other on the couch!), making vidoes of each other and taking pictures.  She has rules like no bad language, no inappropriate pictures/videos, etc.  I have free access to her phone whenever I want and have checked it over many times and found nothing out of order.  It's also a good punishment tool to ground her from it for other offenses, although, I haven't ever had to take it from her, she's a good girl and I trust her.  I've threatened though! 

She hardly ever talks on it, more than anything, she used it to call and get in touch with me, which I love!  She often just call and texts to tell me she loves me and that's the best! 

I'm sure many of you won't agree with this but that's fine!  To each their own is my motto!

 

ValAndRyan

There are so many factors to this that is a personal decision. Is the kid responsible? Is the kid out playing a lot where it would be a relief that he/she had one? etc. And of course, it comes down to what the parents believe. For me, personally, I waited till DS was 11. Also, there were PLENTY of other things to teach him responsibility - he didn't need a phone for that teaching. I think I even taught him a lesson on doing without for a couple of years; that he doesn't have to have something/luxury because everyone else had one.

Even when he went out to play, I told him to go into a friend's house and call me if needed (like what I used to do) or just use another friend's cell because most of them had one anyway. At 11, I was still leary but he was more responsible and it just fit at that time. He only has a plain phone - like no internet but he does have unlimited texting which is in our family plan. We do check the phone whenever we want. I also tell him I can get deleted messages from the phone company. The texting part scares me the most I think. And as a sidebar...(this is where I am a mean mom lol), I try and make him type everything out instead of typing "r u....". I hate the bad habits that are picked up by texting.

Anyway, Each kid and family is different and you just have to do what you feel is right. Everyone is different.

DandelionMom

My 10 y/o doesn't need a cell yet but there are definitely kids her age and younger that have them.  I think in a blended family situation, it could make it easier for the parents to reach the child when they're with the other parent.  I know a lot of people are doing away with home phones and getting cell phones for the kids.  IDK, I don't think it is a bad idea as long as the parents have reasonable expectations.  At some point that phone is probably going to be lost or broken. 

SarieP

ValAndRyan:

There are so many factors to this that is a personal decision. Is the kid responsible? Is the kid out playing a lot where it would be a relief that he/she had one? etc.

No and No.  She is not responsible at all.  She doesn't keep up with ANYTHING and not held accountable by her mom for anything.  Every. Single. Weekend  she is with us, she leaves something at our house that was supposed to go back to her mom's. We have told her over and over again that she is responsible for her things which gets no where because her mom gets upset with DH if SD leaves stuff at our house.  It is a ridiculous situation.

ValAndRyan

SarieP:

ValAndRyan:

There are so many factors to this that is a personal decision. Is the kid responsible? Is the kid out playing a lot where it would be a relief that he/she had one? etc.

No and No.  She is not responsible at all.  She doesn't keep up with ANYTHING and not held accountable by her mom for anything.  Every. Single. Weekend  she is with us, she leaves something at our house that was supposed to go back to her mom's. We have told her over and over again that she is responsible for her things which gets no where because her mom gets upset with DH if SD leaves stuff at our house.  It is a ridiculous situation.

That's tough, I'm sorry. I don't know your specific situation but is there any way everyone can sit down and talk about what should be expected from her - set guidelines/expectations? Ex: like it is her fault she is leaving stuff at your house and it is her responsibility. (I totally agree with you on that). I'm sorry, I hope it works out soon for everyone!

Jmollo28

LOL!!! Let me share a story with you about my 8 year old SD --- she was using her dad's phone and saw on TV that she could text Justin Bieber -- and she did!!! my DH got a text - (luckily, it was an error text.. she had gotten a digit wrong) -- and she came running in the kitchen.. no lie "it's for me.. it's justin, i texted him" so no.. I do not believe cell phones are appropriate for children that age.

tonilee80

My son is now 9 years old but we got him a cell phone when he was 8. Last year he was supposed to be at a bible club after school and they canceled and we never got a phone call so noone was home to get him off the bus.. So after panicking and trying to find him, we decided we were getting him a cell phone.  My son is very active in baseball, basketball, and football-which there is no need for it then because we are at every game and practice.. However he also goes over to a couple friends houses here and there.  He takes his phone every where even keeps it in his bookbag at school.  It's used primarily for emergencies.

Surfinbride

Jmollo28:

LOL!!! Let me share a story with you about my 8 year old SD --- she was using her dad's phone and saw on TV that she could text Justin Bieber -- and she did!!! my DH got a text - (luckily, it was an error text.. she had gotten a digit wrong) -- and she came running in the kitchen.. no lie "it's for me.. it's justin, i texted him" so no.. I do not believe cell phones are appropriate for children that age.

So funny! That would be worth the fees just to have your kid think Justin Bieber is calling.

My daughter is 9 and no cell phone. I can see the pros/cons. The greatest use across the board would be that your child has access in an emergency. On the negative side (and this does not apply to everyone), it changes the social environment. I remember being on vacation. There was a beautiful lake. Most of the kids were swimming or doing activities together. Two young girls were sitting next to each other texting. At first, I thought they were inviting more friends... or touching base... but, it went on the whole time. It didn't look very fun. I would hate to have my daughter texting or playing games on a phone when she could be enjoying the company of the people she is with.

mickey1330

There is no way my son would get a cell phone at 8.

That being said, am I the only one who noticed she's going to be paying $2 a DAY for unlimited texts? That comes out to $60 a month!  You could get a normal, non-prepaid cell phone for cheaper than that! 

My DS however, does not get $60 a month in allowance anyway.  He'd never be able to afford that plan!

halij52002

My daughter is 8 and she does have a cell phone. My daughter needs it. She takes the bus to and from school. she goes to tutoring on Wed. after school and she used to be in the music ensemble at school. I work nights sometimes and so does her step-daddy. My grandma or mom are sometimes responsible for picking her up. I find it useful to check up on her by calling her at the time when she gets off the bus or even before she gets on the bus to make sure she didn't miss it. I originally got the cell phone because by court she used to have to go with her sperm doner every other Sat. But since the douche bag stopped calling or showing up to pick her up the cell wasn't useful for that anymore. But, since I had already added her to the family plan... I found ways to make use of it. To each there own... that's how I feel.

katieisawesome

halij52002:

My daughter is 8 and she does have a cell phone. My daughter needs it. She takes the bus to and from school. she goes to tutoring on Wed. after school and she used to be in the music ensemble at school. I work nights sometimes and so does her step-daddy. My grandma or mom are sometimes responsible for picking her up. I find it useful to check up on her by calling her at the time when she gets off the bus or even before she gets on the bus to make sure she didn't miss it. I originally got the cell phone because by court she used to have to go with her sperm doner every other Sat. But since the douche bag stopped calling or showing up to pick her up the cell wasn't useful for that anymore. But, since I had already added her to the family plan... I found ways to make use of it. To each there own... that's how I feel.

I guess what I don't understand about this is that I did those things in school 12 years ago without a cell phone.  So did my siblings, and all of my friends, and every single person I know over the age of 20.

When did it become a need?  I don't think it is and I won't be buying one for my daughter in the foreseeable future. 

jsabouh

mickey1330:

There is no way my son would get a cell phone at 8.

That being said, am I the only one who noticed she's going to be paying $2 a DAY for unlimited texts? That comes out to $60 a month!  You could get a normal, non-prepaid cell phone for cheaper than that! 

My DS however, does not get $60 a month in allowance anyway.  He'd never be able to afford that plan!

 

Wow! Yeah, my 7 year old or eight year old would not even be earning that much in an allowance and still have any left over for sure.

We have been having the cell phone talk since DD best friend got one for her 7th bday. My daughter is a few months older and feels like if her bf has one that she is old enough to have one too. We are a blended family as well, and I do have trouble getting in touch with her when she visits her father in the summer bc he works sun up til sun down during the week, and her grandma doesn't have a phone. Her father lives out of state. So I have thought about getting her one added to our plan, but maybe I will just do a prepaid for when she goes away on visits or to a sleepover instead.

sweetsurrender9

SS has a cell phone to facilitate communication with DH.  Before we bought the phone, DH would have to call BM's boyfriend and ask to speak to SS.  We decided that it was a little odd to have to call another man's cell phone (they don't have a landline) and *ask* to speak to his child, so we bought the cell.

SS's phone is very heavily censored, and only phone calls on his trusted list are allowed to be sent and received.  Because we pay for the phone, we control the trusted list and phone/text settings.

emscott

katieisawesome:

halij52002:

My daughter is 8 and she does have a cell phone. My daughter needs it. She takes the bus to and from school. she goes to tutoring on Wed. after school and she used to be in the music ensemble at school. I work nights sometimes and so does her step-daddy. My grandma or mom are sometimes responsible for picking her up. I find it useful to check up on her by calling her at the time when she gets off the bus or even before she gets on the bus to make sure she didn't miss it. I originally got the cell phone because by court she used to have to go with her sperm doner every other Sat. But since the douche bag stopped calling or showing up to pick her up the cell wasn't useful for that anymore. But, since I had already added her to the family plan... I found ways to make use of it. To each there own... that's how I feel.

I guess what I don't understand about this is that I did those things in school 12 years ago without a cell phone.  So did my siblings, and all of my friends, and every single person I know over the age of 20.

When did it become a need?  I don't think it is and I won't be buying one for my daughter in the foreseeable future. 

This.

SueBear

DD is 8 and does not have a cell phone (even though she wants one).  There is no need for her to have one.  Most children seem to get them in 5th grade - when they are going to and from school and activities on their own / on their bikes, or staying after school for sports.  The phones are blocked inside the school, so talking / texting at school is not an issue.

However, DD has friends with cell phones and I can see the point of the moms who got them.  One is swimming (practice = 5 days a week before school and after), the mom carpools with other moms and wants her dd to text / call her when she arrives safely either at practice or at school.  If another mom doesn't show up or practice ends early, etc. she can contact her mom. 

The other friends are children with divorced parents.  I think it just seems to work better with pickups, having the kids call their mom/dad (or grandma/grandpa, siblings) without having to involve the other parent, the kid can talk to one parent while the other is driving (nj = no cell while driving) if they are running late, etc.    

However, I'm not sure that the prepaid is a good idea.  I would rather know who is contacting my kid, and limit who they can talk to.     

skeenan293

We just got my son one this year and he is 10 years old.  The only reason he got one is because he has to call me when he leaves the house in the morning before he gets on the bus because we don't have a home phone.  I think it depends on the child and if they can help it.  I will tell you the my son currently doesn't have his cell phone and we installed a home phone because he took his cell phone to school.  He know has to prove that the is responsible even to get it back.

EBathory997Wed74688

I know everyone has teir own reasons for a cell phone but i just can't condone getting a cell phone for a kid.  I teach high school and jr high and the kids are constantly texting in class and using their phones when the code of conduct specifically says that phones are supposed to be off and in lockers all day.  It infuriates me when parents text their kids during school, encouraging the behavior that the teachers are trying to stop.  My husband and I already discussed this for our unborn daughter and she will not have a phone until she has a driver's license, like what I had, and even then limited call access and no texting.  If she doesn't like it, then she can wait until 18 and pay for it herself.