Can I have a hug?

choirgirl

I'm sorry I've not been around much lately, most of my limited time online has been on the secondary infertility board.

As of today, another cycle down the drain. I really thought this was the one.  I gagged while eating an apple on Friday (apples were the only thing that made me sick while pg with DS).  I gagged looking at the menu when we went out to lunch on Saturday.  I had AF type cramps all last week (much earlier than normal), just like when pg with DS, and my chemical pg. I was craving a cheesy rice and bean burrito from taco bell, again, only before when pg with DS.

I've been doing acupuncture and taking chinese herbs, and taking DHEA.  Last month added in taking Femara and was the second month of doing luteal hCG injections.  At this point, things should be working, but they are not.  I have to talk DH into an IUI for this month, as he is going to be out of town the most important days of the month. And he feels we shouldn't be doing any intervention, just trying and seeing what we can do on our own since we conceived DS on our own, on a break cycle.  Yes, but back then (I was 38, now I'm 41) my hormone levels were different, and we know for a fact some of them cannot support a pregnancy (after testing done before and after my chemical preg in Nov/Dec).  So not intervening is the same as not trying.

Anyway, I just want to sit at my desk and cry today. Not getting much work done, and just need a hug, that I can't get from DH because he just doesn't get all of the anxiety and stress, and thinks I'm doing to much, that we'll just get pg on our own. I don't think he'll believe it until we don't get pg next month, because we are all November and December babies in our family.  But if we don't get pg next month, I lose my shot of giving birth while still 41, my artificial deadline.

Anyway, I just wanted to whine. Thanks for listening.

 

robynlesley

I'm so sorry... you can totally whine here. 

And I hope your DH realizes where you need to be to have another child. I truly hope that you can add to your family.

fauxshelley

Oh Jen, I'm sorry!  Great big (((hugs))) to you!!!

lynnshey

  I am so sorry to hear this.  It is hard when your hopes get up.  Remember we are always here for you - all feelings are welcome here.  Wish I had better words to say...

racampbell1

I'm so sorry, it stinks, stinks, stinks.  Big hugs to you and I hope you guys can get on the same page soon.  I also understand how it feels to have that "deadline" of "I want to have a baby before I'm __"   I think that's a really hard thing for men to understand since their material is viable until such an older age.  Its not fair.  Hang in there and I truly hope you get what your heart desires.

Peppernut

*hug*

I am so sorry!   

NewMrs07

I completely understand and I wish I could reach out and hug you through the computer. DH also doesn't get that sense or urgency and also thinks we'll get pg on our own, no problem. Which is why he doesn't want to TTC yet and thinks we have plenty of time. While meanwhile I'm 40 and will be 41 in July and am totally depressed about the whole thing (stress doesn't help either). I don't know why men don't understand how our biology works. Maybe if you show him some fertility statistics. If he sees facts and numbers he might be able to relate more. At least he's on board with #2 but you should be serious with him and tell him that you need to act now if you want another baby.

I hope things get better for you, this TTC business sucks big time!! 

BrideBuddies

So sorry you're feeling so much pressure.

This may not help, but I'm a firm believer and living proof that the moment you stop calculating and plotting and "what if-ing", that's the moment you'll get what you're hoping for.   Not to mention the pressure and stress you're putting yourself through... that can't be good for you or your body.

We had just thrown the word "adoption" out into the universe and I got pregnant.  BAM.  And I was 42 at the time.  I know that doesn't happen for everyone, but I do think there's something to it.....

GL

 

stever

mama.bear

hugs, hugs and more

SFAug07

So sorry, this sucks. Big hugs!!!

ateytelb

Big hug!

M.Amy

I am so sorry.

Piranha54

hug!

vanverth

I am with Brides on this.  We stressed for YEARS (10) trying to get pregnant without intervention and when we stopped, it happened.  It will happen.  Unfortunately these babies don't do things on our time table.  They are very stubborn that way.