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TTC After a Loss 6 Months+
It's over (again)
Since I went and outted myself yesterday here's the update (and full story):
DH and I weren't fully supported when we did IVF the first time. That IVF was a massive FAIL and RE and PGD doc both told us they held no hope of different results with additional IVF cycles.
This month DH and I did what we called our "Peace of Mind" cycle. Not really hoping for a baby but for closure... so that 10 years from now we can say, "We did everything humanly possible and then some." Admittedly we wouldn't have done round two without insurance that covers pretty much all the cost and because that was seen as insurance abuse to some, we kept this round pretty much a secret.
RE called this morning. Their last ditch ICSI effort still produced no embryos to even test. I'm heartbroken but finally do feel at peace. Our lives has been on hold for the last few years and we can finally begin to move forward.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: It's over (again)
I wish you could have walked away from this last cycle with a miracle. My heart if filled with sadness for you and your DH. The biggest hugs, ever, BGP!
The universe can just suck it.
Kristin I wish this was all very different.
I'm so sorry.
I hope all the best for you and DH as you move forward from this.
All my love to you both.
Jenn
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
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Baby girl, I am so sorry. I wish there was something that I could say or do to make this better.
I am here for you always.... Love you, girl. (((hugs)))
I'm so sorry. This breaks my heart for you and M. You know we love you and are always here for you.
As far as it being insurance abuse, that's complete bullshitt. Using your insurance benefits is not abusing them; that's what you have them for. Crikey, I can't believe people actually told you that.
ITA. The benefits are there...use them.
I'm so sorry that your last effort turned out like this. Huge hugs.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
Kristin, I'm so so so sorry. Sorry doesn't even begin to cut it. You're one of the sweetest people I have had the pleasure of meeting on here, and the universe deserves to be kicked in the junk repeatedly for doing this to you.
I wish there was more I could do than say "I'm sorry". Like AB said.. it's just not enough.
I am so very sorry that things didn't work out with this cycle. That is just heartbreaking.
I can't believe that anyone would consider it insurance fraud - that is crazy. You used the resources that were available to you in the hopes that they would work. People use whatever resources they can to save a life, even if there is a slim chance - using your resources to create a life should be no different.
I just feel so absolutely terrible, there are really no words to express it. ((((hugs))))
And the people who said that probably have no idea whatsoever what it feels like to be you. I'm sorry you'd have to deal with that at all. I'm a rage rage against the dying of the light girl myself, so even though I don't get it emotionally, having not been in your shoes, I totally get it, if that makes any sense.
As for it being over: I'm sorry. And like everyone noted, that's just so crappy a rendition of how I feel in my heart for you. As a poet, I am particularly pissed when words fail me - but sometimes things are just too big, too hard for words. Giant, useless internet hugs and if anyone gives you guf for this, let me know and I'll sqare up with them and kick 'em in the taco.
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Ohmygod, Kristin, I just don't know what to say. This isn't fair. You're one of the most fabulous people I know.
I just don't understand why such sh!t happens to such great people. WHY?!
12 long, hard years of TTC-
Miscarriages, losses, lots of treatments & drugs & IVF
Natural BFP (WTF?!) - 06/04/11 ~ lots of complication and drama, but sweet baby Adele born 02/07/12!
BFP #million -another girl for us! EDD - 05-08-15 (but will come early)
BFP 12/18/2009. HB 1/4/2010. NO HB 1/18/2010. D&C 1/19/2010
April 2011 IUI #1 BFN. High FSH and other issues.
May 2011 Chose to build our family through adoption
September 2011 Actively waiting for a match
11/26/11 Surprise BFP * DD born 7/23/12
I'm truly heartbroken for you, K. I can tell that this will lead you to peace (and that getting off the treatment treadmill will be a relief). But still. What a sh1tty, sh1tty world.
We love you so much and we're here for you.
Baby Boy Smudgie born 10/4/11
<a href="http://s837.photobucket.com/albums/zz298/triple_sevens/?action=view
I am so very sorry, BGP. My heart and all the love in it goes out to you and your DH.
((hugs))
Mom to Teagan 4.11.07 and Cora 9.30.11
D&E @ 22w 9.30.09 CMV infection BFP 10.15.10 C/P 4w4d
There are no right words to say in this situation. I am really so sorry this didn't work out for you and your DH. And I wouldn't give the insurance business a second thought. It's there and you NEEDED it. It's not like you made something up to get extra appointments or whatever.
I'm sending you the biggest hugs I can.
Missed m/c 11.09 | Missed m/c 3.10 | We miss you & love you so.
~ ~ ~
Formerly toddandjulie
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
Dx: MFI- 3% morph
IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
<a href="http://s699.photobucket.com/albums/vv353/guppyamy/?action=view
Like every one else said. "Sorry" isn't a big enough word to cover it but that is all there is to say.
I don't know why anyone told you trying IVF again was insurance abuse.
I wish I could make it all better for you.
PAL/PGAL Welcome
BFP #1 4/22/10 MC 5/5/10 (6w4d) EDD 12/25/10
BFP #2 10/19/10 CP 10/27/10 (4w6d) EDD 6/30/11
BFP #3 5/10/11 Lucas Abelardo born 12/29/11 at 37w3d
BFP #4 12/10/12 MMC 1/14/13 (9w3d) D&C 1/15/13 EDD 8/16/13
BFP #5 8/22/13 Lucia Elizabeth born 4/17/14 at 38w
* PG #1 2/26/09: mm/c 4/14/09 at 10w4d | PG #2 8/5/09: mm/c 9/29/09 at 11w3d (boy) *
* CP's 4/14/10, 9/1/10, 4/19/11, 5/24/11, 10/14/13, 11/16/13 *
* Ectopic 1/17/14 - nothing on u/s at 6w4d *
* PG #7 BFP 12/21/11 - DD born 8/31/12 *
* DH Dx'd with balanced translocation in 2011 *
GEAUX TIGERS!!!
1st pregnancy: BFP- 6/28/09 - Found out we lost our little girl on 10/9/09 at 19w 4d - D&E- 10/14/09
June 2010, corrective surgery for Septate Uterus and large fibroids
2nd pregnancy: BFP- 10/18/10 - Slow rising, non-doubling HCGs, no heart beat. Non-viable pregnancy, D&C- 11/12/10
Started Metformin 6/30/11, Started Clomid 7/20/11 - Unsuccessful
HSG and Laparoscopic surgery revealed blocked tubes and lots of scar tissue...IVF here we come!!!
Surprise BFP naturally!!! IT'S A BOY!!!
I'm so very, incredibly sorry that you and M are finding yourself in this position. I'm devastated for you.
And, you in no way abused your insurance. At all.
I wish I had something, anything, to make this better for you.