F*#%ing Baby Shower — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

F*#%ing Baby Shower

Just about to head to bed, check my email, and there it is. Another baby shower invite.

First, my other bridesmaid... now this one.

I just don't think I can do it. I really don't.

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Re: F*#%ing Baby Shower

  • Can you not go?  I think all of my bridesmaids would totally understand if I didn't go and would rather I not be there if I was going to be all weepy and awkward (not that you would, but I would if I had to go to a shower soon :-p).  
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  • Big (((HUGS)))!!!  Nothing says you have to...I hope you protect your heart.
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  • (((Hugs))) I hope she understands if you cant make it

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  • I would be all weepy and awkward. And this is the friend who told me, days after my D&C, while she was pregnant, too, that I should think about all the people whose stories are far worse than mine, and all the starving people in Africa, to make myself feel better (as in, get over it, not a big deal).

    I don't think I can go.

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  • awww {{HUGS}}} sweetie
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  • ((hugs)) I haven't gone to a baby shower since my first loss.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

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  • image thewayiam:

    I would be all weepy and awkward. And this is the friend who told me, days after my D&C, while she was pregnant, too, that I should think about all the people whose stories are far worse than mine, and all the starving people in Africa, to make myself feel better (as in, get over it, not a big deal).

    I don't think I can go.

     

    And that settles it.  You're not going.  :-) 

    [IMG]http://i35.tinypic.com/2jdfbpg.jpg[/IMG]
    <div>missing our sweet daughter - m/c on 1/7/11 at 14w6d due to Turner Syndrome, d&c 1/7/11</div>
    <div>CP 4/24/11 at 4w2d</div>
    <div>baby boy born 3/15/12</div>
    <div>pg #4 EDD 4/11/13</div>
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  • Have your mom or someone pick out and send her a gift though.
  • I am so sorry that you are in this position.  If these are your best friends, they will understand if you are unable to attend.  Going to a baby shower a week or so ago was the hardest thing I've had to go through since my m/c.  If you even have a doubt you might not be able to get through it, don't push it.  Hugs to you.

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  • ((hugs)) if you really feel you should get a gift or acknowledge the shower then send one separetly or get with her before or after. You have to allow yourself the excuse not to go! In these kind of situations, knowing your limits and being "selfish" are the right things to do!
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  • image thewayiam:

    I would be all weepy and awkward. And this is the friend who told me, days after my D&C, while she was pregnant, too, that I should think about all the people whose stories are far worse than mine, and all the starving people in Africa, to make myself feel better (as in, get over it, not a big deal).

    I don't think I can go.

    Yikes! 

    It is probably a good idea to sit this one out. Big hugs. 

     

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  • I'm so sorry.  Is there anyway to get out of it?  ((Big HUGS))
    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

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  • ...oh and one more thing...who sends invites via email?? How lame is that. I hope she is going to send you a real invite in the mail. I mean I get that a lot of people send out a pre-invite via email but then it should be followed up with a formal invite.

     

    image

    9 angels in heaven-3 in my arms and 1 in the NICU                                                                                                                                    
    Mono/di twin girls: Josephine born to heaven and Evangeline born Earthside at 25w

    image

    image

  • *huge hugs*  I refuse to attend baby showers.
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  • image johnnys june:
    ((hugs)) if you really feel you should get a gift or acknowledge the shower then send one separetly or get with her before or after. You have to allow yourself the excuse not to go! In these kind of situations, knowing your limits and being "selfish" are the right things to do!

    The other bridesmaid's shower was 2 weeks after my loss. I of course sent a gift, but just picked something from the registry, called the store and paid for it with credit card. They had it waiting at the door and DH basically went out, stopped the car, and picked up the gift. They were great about it.

    This'll be the same store. We'll do the same thing.

     

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  • I agree with PP's, you should skip this one. Given what she said to you after your loss, it may be hard at the shower to put that aside. The shower is going to be stressful as it is and you don't want her insensitive remark nagging at you the whole time. (((hugs)))
    BFP #1 5/9/10 - Missed MC detected and D&C 7/2/10 BFP #2 11/24/10 - slow rising, non doubling betas - MX shot 12/6/10 BFP #3 3/7/11 - beta @ 13dpo 63, beta @ 15dpo 183 - please be our take home baby! Alex born 11/13/11!
  • I'm so so sorry! ***HUGS*** You need to think about yourself right now. If its going to be to hard do not go.
    Emily Irene born February 8 2011 gone but not forgotten.
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
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  • image butterfly843:
    ((hugs)) I haven't gone to a baby shower since my first loss.

    Same here. If you're not up to it...don't go. In the end you have to look out for your self. It's a sticky spot to be in but if she's a good friend, she'll understand ((hugs))

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  • image thewayiam:

    I would be all weepy and awkward. And this is the friend who told me, days after my D&C, while she was pregnant, too, that I should think about all the people whose stories are far worse than mine, and all the starving people in Africa, to make myself feel better (as in, get over it, not a big deal).

    I don't think I can go.

    Friend!?Hmm  She has a very twisted way of expressing friendship, or at least at that moment she did.  I am so sorry, I don't think I could muster up enough courage to go to her shower either.  Maybe she should donate a portion of her gifts to "all those people whose stories are far worse".  I hope that if you tell her that you cannot attend, that she is more understanding and empathetic this time.

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  • Oh dear- I'm really sorry.
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  • (((Hugs)))
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  • image HadleyS:
    image thewayiam:

    I would be all weepy and awkward. And this is the friend who told me, days after my D&C, while she was pregnant, too, that I should think about all the people whose stories are far worse than mine, and all the starving people in Africa, to make myself feel better (as in, get over it, not a big deal).

    I don't think I can go.

    Friend!?Hmm  She has a very twisted way of expressing friendship, or at least at that moment she did.  I am so sorry, I don't think I could muster up enough courage to go to her shower either.  Maybe she should donate a portion of her gifts to "all those people whose stories are far worse".  I hope that if you tell her that you cannot attend, that she is more understanding and empathetic this time.

    This! I agree, I probably wouldn't be able to go either. (hugs)

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