Community› The Bump Message Boards› TTC after 35
TTC after 35
New Discussion

I'm a basket-case

mtlaurelmtlaurel
in TTC after 35

I just need to vent. My very dear aunt passed away last week. She was a remarkable woman, a mother figure, and very important in my life. I had to reschedule our first RE visit for her funeral.

I just started cycle #12 this afternoon (9 day LP and 23-day cycle - wtf?!), and our first RE appt. is now scheduled for this Thurs.

I am a walking, barely functioning melt-down today. Sadness and disbelief over my aunt, moodiness and anger over AF, and nervousness over going to the RE are rendering me useless. I'm afraid I'm going to burst into a sobbing fit the moment I walk into the RE's office. I'm afraid the RE is going to tell me to relax! I feel overwhelmed.

Thanks for letting me get that out. 

TTC #1 since June 2010
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI

DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

SAIFW/PAIFW
Report Reply to Post

Re: I'm a basket-case

  • jb2rnjb2rn member

    Oh, dear! You poor thing. I am so sorry about your Aunt's passing. And for your short cycle (I know all about those).

    I hope tomorrow is better your RE has some magic to toss your way

     ((hugs)).

    b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
    DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d

    image

    Report Reply
  • LlamamamaLlamamama member
    I am so very sorry to hear about the passing of your Aunt. :(  That in addition to AF and your upcoming RE appt would surely send even the strongest person over the edge.  Big hugs to you.. I hope you get some good news soon.  :)
    Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member
    I am also very sorry for the loss of your aunt. I remember when my aunt (my mom's sis) died when I was in college(she was only 52). It was truly awful. You are being too hard on yourself.  I think RE's are used to "emotional" women and won't tell you to relax!  Take time to grieve. Hugs:-)

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

    Report Reply
  • mtlaurelmtlaurel

    Thank you so much, ladies.It means so much to me to have sympathetic ears (eyes?) to share with.


    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

    SAIFW/PAIFW
    Report Reply
  • HappyMrsKHappyMrsK member
    I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you get some good news soon!
    Report Reply
  • happywifemomofonehappywifemomofone member
    What a rough week....so sorry for the loss of your aunt.  Sending hugs your way.  Take it one day at a time.  AF sucks-but sending best wishes that your time is coming soon.  Good luck with RE.
    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
    Report Reply
  • CheezeFaceCheezeFace member

    I am so very sorry for your loss.  Grief is really tough under the best of circumstances...I'm sending good thoughts your way.

    I really am sorry.

     

    Breathe.

    ~Married 11/08~
    ~TTC since 01/09~
    ~SA & B/W - 06/09 - Normal~
    ~Encouraged by OB to "just keep trying" 06/09 - 06/10 (oh, the wasted time)~
    ~HSG - 08/10 - Clear/Normal~
    ~Lapo - 01/11 - Normal~
    ~Clomid 50mg, Trigger shot, Prometrium - 01/11, 02/11, 03/11~
    ~BFN - 02/11~
    ~IUI #1 03/15/11~
    BFP 3/28/2011
    Diagnosed with GD at 28 weeks. Controlled through diet and exercise. No insulin.
    Diagnosed with Cholestasis of pregnancy @ 36 weeks.
    Delivered via C-section @ 36 weeks on 11/9/11.

    TTC#2 for a few months naturally (ha!)
    ~IUI#1, Clomid, Trigger,  10/13 - BFN
    ~IUI#2, Femera, Ovidrel, 11/13




    image




    Report Reply
  • bluebabkabluebabka
    : ( So sorry to hear about your loss and your difficult time. I hope you get to relax tomorrow and that you can go into your appt with a better frame of mind.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • georgia3georgia3 member
    Hope that things calm down for you this week and that your RE appointment goes well.  Hugs to you :)
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • aurora1974aurora1974 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  Please don't be so hard on yourself.  Allow yourself time to grieve.  It's perfectly understandable how you're feeling.  I'm sure your RE will not tell you to relax.  Please take care of yourself.  If you need to cry, then cry.  I'm a big believer in letting it out.  ((hugs))
    image
    Report Reply
  • lmydogallylmydogally
    Oh my,I'm so sorry about your Aunt. Don't worry about crying at the RE's office. I'm sure you won't be the first or the last.
    IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
    Report Reply
  • mtlaurelmtlaurel

    I went home and had a good crying session with DH last night, and then ate way too many of the peanut butter-chocolate chip cookies he made me... I think stuffing it in all day at work was killing me.

    Thank you, again. This board is awesome. 

    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

    SAIFW/PAIFW
    Report Reply
  • 10-4LilBuddy10-4LilBuddy member
    I'm sorry honey.  Vent away - that's what we're here for.  ((hugs))
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"