How to not worry constantly?

NYBride1125

I have a bad habit of always thinking the worst. Nothing has gone wrong whatsoever with this pregnancy, but I'm always wondering "what if the baby's heart stopped beating" or any other bad random thoughts... I feel like all I do is worry, which is never good for anybody! Anybody have some good tips for being positive all the time?

cvl105

Gosh, that's a hard one. I think some people are just worriers and others aren't. I haven't really been worried at all, other than when we were told the baby has a cyst on her brain.  I'm typically not a worrier.

I guess just try not to think about every what-if.  Keep thinking of the future and all the fun things you're going to do with your new baby...rather than thinking of what could go wrong now.

wkfouts

I used to be that way until my DH bought me a Sonoline B heart monitor. I check our baby's heart rate every day when I get home from work. Sometimes twice a day if I don't feel him move for a while. That's the only way I've been able to calm myself from thinking negative things.

jgengo0

I am a worry wart to say the least...This is horrible...but for months I would lurk on the miscarriage and pregnancy loss board...just reading sad stories preparing myself for the worst. It was horrible. Finally I just told myself what will be will be and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I also bought the sonoline B and I can't tell you how much that calms my anxiety.

lovejoyinme

i am a worrier...it has gotten a little bit better though. all you can do is take good care of yourself. think positive thoughts about the future and get excited about things now...shopping, registering, getting the nursery ready. i also have the sonoline B doppler which i still use if i haven't felt the baby move for a long period of time. this helps calm me. 

dicer2

I'm a worrier by nature and sometimes it is hard to let the fears go.  I remind myself that I'm doing everything within my power to insure a healthy baby.  If something goes wrong, it is out of my hands.  I also think about how we were ALL born at one point so chances are, my baby will be fine also.

MrsPBNJ0220

I worry about everything not just baby related stuff so I can totally relate to what you are going through.  I have found that I am worrying less about what if something bad happens to our LO and more about the what if's when LO comes, and finances and stuff.  All I can suggest is try your best not to stress but being that I am also the same way I know that a lot of times that just does not work.  Good Luck and try to take it easy!

DuckysDoll

That is a hard one that I can not help with. With my first 2, I never worried. This is my last and I am always concerned. I do have a doppler that helps with the worry a bit, but I still freak once a day minimum! LOL

DuckDuckGoose123

I worried a lot in the beginning, until I started feeling her move every day.

Honestly, maybe this is a naive way to go about things, but I've just convinced myself that since the vast majority of pregnancies go just fine, mine will too, and I'm only going to worry if there's a reason to.  It's worked.

jcsumm0

I am a worrier too.  I feel like I didn't appreciate or enjoy the first part of this pregnancy the way I wanted to because I was so worried.  But in the past few weeks, since my last doctor visit, I have just started feeling a lot better.  Part of it was the reassurances from my doctor about a few things I was worried about, but part of it is my outlook to.  It helps me to think, "don't borrow trouble."  I thought this a lot when it took us 11 months to conceive this baby.  I'd get into a panic about whether or not we were going to have fertility problems, but then I'd just have to remember that worrying about problems that haven't happened yet doesn't prevent those problems, nor does it make the problems easier if/when they do happen.  And meanwhile, worrying is ruining the present moment. 

I know this is somewhat new age-y/corny, but there are some good pregnancy meditation/affirmation CDs out there if you think that sort of thing would help you.  I have this one.

I guess overall I just try to remind myself that I only get to be pregnant with this baby this one time, and I want to enjoy it and look back on it with fondness, and worrying takes away from that.  I remind myself everyday that I'll never be 26 weeks, 1 day (or whatever) pregnant with this baby again.

I hope that helps a little.  Sorry this turned into a novel.

Amaya84

Ear chocolate and distract yourself. You can also buy one of those heart beat monitors. But hardly anything goes wrong here on out. You'll be fine!

mskolman

I am the same way, but for a good reason. My son had a serious heart defect detected in utero and had a very rough start to life. It seemed like everything that could go wrong, did. So, I thought everything would be the same for this pregnancy. All the tests say everything looks great with our little girl, but I still worry. I thinks it's good to worry though. I know of too many stories of tragedy, even way beyond 24 weeks, and a healthy baby is nothing short of a miracle. 

It really gets to me when getting pregnant and having a healthy baby is expected and taken for granted.

RobinSparkles81

mskolman:

I am the same way, but for a good reason. My son had a serious heart defect detected in utero and had a very rough start to life. It seemed like everything that could go wrong, did. So, I thought everything would be the same for this pregnancy. All the tests say everything looks great with our little girl, but I still worry. I thinks it's good to worry though. I know of too many stories of tragedy, even way beyond 24 weeks, and a healthy baby is nothing short of a miracle. 

It really gets to me when getting pregnant and having a healthy baby is expected and taken for granted.

My thoughts exactly.  I'm a queen worrier and have a bit of a reputation because of it.  I worry about the cysts in her brain even though the doctors don't, now I worry cause I failed my 1hr glucose test even though I know that I could pass the 3hr one.  But after trying 3 years and feeling like a "broken woman" because of it, I can't help but worry all the time that something could go wrong...because I've heard and seen so many horrible stories.  

It never ceases to amaze me just how lucky any one of us is to exist because even in perfectly healthy women getting pregnant is nothing short of a miracle.

To answer the initial question though...I find forcing myself to shop for the baby and sort of "pretend" I'm normal and not worried tends to at least temporarily calm me down.  But as a PP said some of us are just worriers.  My DH cousin gave me a big hug the other day (she's a worrier to) and said that it's ok to be this way...it just means you are a mommy who loves her baby so much...and that's never a bad thing.

 

sammyb1017

Im so glad that you wrote this. I worry constantly too. I worry at my baseline and I know that sometimes my worrying is a problem. It seems that this pregnancy I always have something to worry about whether it be miscarrying during the 1st tri, the anatomy scan during 2nd tri. Now I fear for labor and if the baby isn't moving constantly. I have no advice for you as I have not found much to help me. But knowing that other women are experiencing the same worry is comforting. I have begun a journal to my baby where I can spell out worries. My Mom wrote a similar one to me during her pregnancy with me and reading it now is very comforting. 

Best of luck to you and keep smiling.