Can we play "Ask Anything"?

bhilyer

It's been a while since we've done this and I know a lot of us 1st time moms have questions that we may feel silly asking, but the 2nd time moms on this board have been a great resource for me.

EJensify

I'm game.

bhilyer

1. How did you pick your pediatrician?

2. Does you pediatrician provide guidelines for how much and how often to eat?  When to transition to cereal then solids?

3. Survival tips for the first few weeks at home?

smiling76

First of all, don't feel bad about asking questions---even us 2nd timers aren't experts--but we have been through it and should WANT to help.  Anyone who gives you first timers crap about it should feel ashamed really.  I mean, sometimes we forget that we were ALL 1st timers and had many questions at one point. 

So go.....ask away.

Shelly203

1. I asked friends for some recommendations.  With those, I met the doctors and chose the one that seemed like the best fit for us.  He has turned out to be the best doctor ever!!

2. Yes. He told us everything about food, and it was so helpful.  He also gave us a whole brochure type thing that helped us along the way.

3. Don't push yourself.  You are recovering and need time.  Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family.  They will be glad to help out.  Don't feel like you have to entertain them when they come over to help.  They came to help...take the time to rest, take a shower, whatever you need to do.  On the same note, if someone calls and you just want to rest, tell them.  Pick a better time for them to come over.  Don't feel like you have to have people over if you aren't feeling up to it.

smiling76

bhilyer:

1. How did you pick your pediatrician?

2. Does you pediatrician provide guidelines for how much and how often to eat?  When to transition to cereal then solids?

3. Survival tips for the first few weeks at home?

1.  I had a list of them from my insurance and then asked my OB---they know a lot about them so they can give good advice.  My BFF also manages a pedi's office so that is who we went through---but just wanted to make sure. 

2.  They do give you guidance on when to feed, but I think doing your own research also helps because some feed sooner than others.  We chose to hold off 'solids' until later and I'm glad we did b/c he had horrible food allergies that could have been even more serious if we had fed earlier. 

3.  Survival tips---well, I had an unexpected c-section so those are diff than vag deliveries---but I say don't be afraid to ask for help from people----ask them to bring a dish for dinner, help vaccuum, whatever you need.  They want to help.  Don't be afraid to let people watch your baby so you can take a nap, shower, etc.  That doesn't make you a bad mom--it makes you one that will be clean and well-rested. 

If you can freeze meals ahead of time, that helps too. 

elisbu

1) How tired are you really when LO comes home?

2) How messy was your house? I hate messes, and I can see myself stressing out even more with LO at home, I want everything perfect when she's there!!!!

3) What item did you swear you would use, that sat in a drawer (maybe I can take off my registry?)

Lisa Frank

elisbu:

1) How tired are you really when LO comes home?

2) How messy was your house? I hate messes, and I can see myself stressing out even more with LO at home, I want everything perfect when she's there!!!!

3) What item did you swear you would use, that sat in a drawer (maybe I can take off my registry?)

1) Tired. Like, really exhausted. I never knew what it was like to live off of such a small amount of sleep (consecutively) like that before baby came. It was a shocker for me, but you get used to it.  If you have a super awesome DH like I do, it will help take some of that stress off. I have friends who's DH's don't wake in the night at all because they are working. I tried to let my DH sleep as much as he could, but he was so helpful in those first weeks.

2) I'm a neat freak and I hate messes too.  I had a hard time with letting go on this one.  I also hired a cleaning lady that comes twice a month and that's helped me a lot.  Some things will have to go and you'll learn how to deal with it

 3)  I'm telling you....the sheet savers were a waste for us.  I posted it in a thread below, but Saxy said she loved hers. :shrug: I just donated mine to Goodwill a few weeks ago.

giannabellaglu

1. How did you pick your pediatrician?  I asked my OB & he gave me a name & that's who I picked.  It worked out good for us.  You can always switch if you needed to.

2. Does you pediatrician provide guidelines for how much and how often to eat?  When to transition to cereal then solids?  Yes, during each visit that is always up for discussion.

3. Survival tips for the first few weeks at home?  Accept the help when people offer it.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Sleep as much as you can when the baby sleeps.

 

meghanchrisaz

bhilyer:

1. How did you pick your pediatrician? I asked friends for recommendations.

2. Does you pediatrician provide guidelines for how much and how often to eat?  When to transition to cereal then solids? My old pediatricians did, we moved when DD2 was almost a year old, so I don't really know how my pedi handles all of that.  Either way, we won't transition to solids until 6 months. 

3. Survival tips for the first few weeks at home? If anyone asks you if you need help, TAKE IT.  Don't try and do it all yourself.  If someone tells you they will watch the baby while you nap...DO IT.  Chances are the baby will be sleeping at the time anyway.

Shelly203

elisbu:

1) How tired are you really when LO comes home?  Very tired.  Like to the point where I didn't know if I would make it through the day. (Why am I doing this again?!)  Let DH take over for as much as he can do.  Let others come over and watch baby while you sleep. 

2) How messy was your house? I hate messes, and I can see myself stressing out even more with LO at home, I want everything perfect when she's there!!!!  I am such a neat freak. I get stressed out if there is clutter.  I learned that other things are more important than if something is sitting on the counter for a day or two.  DH really helped out and would clean and keep things tidy.

3) What item did you swear you would use, that sat in a drawer (maybe I can take off my registry?)  I think you will get so many different answers on this.  Like in the post below, some people love something, others hate it.  I personally thought the diaper warmer was a waste.

giannabellaglu

1) How tired are you really when LO comes home?  Really tired...you do have a bit of an adrenaline rush, but as soon as you're done with that it's a tired feeling like you've never experienced.  I remember before having DD I said to friends, oh I'll be ok.  I remember going out with my friends till 2 in the morning & still making it to work on time...nope...totally different.

2) How messy was your house? I hate messes, and I can see myself stressing out even more with LO at home, I want everything perfect when she's there!!!!  That's tough...you just have to let go.  Even if you're awake when the baby is sleeping, you need to rest.  You will want to clean, but you just have to ask for help or let it go.  Trust me, when that sleep deprivation catches up to you, you won't care about your messy house.

3) What item did you swear you would use, that sat in a drawer (maybe I can take off my registry?)  So many people will have different opinions.  I personally never used the wipey warmer.  I also never used breast pads.  I never leaked & had a good supply...go figure.

meghanchrisaz

elisbu:

1) How tired are you really when LO comes home? Exhausted, like I was running on empty.  I just let people do things for me. 

2) How messy was your house? I hate messes, and I can see myself stressing out even more with LO at home, I want everything perfect when she's there!!!! Your LO doesn't care how messy your house is.  Honestly, it really didn't get too bad until DD1 was mobile. 

3) What item did you swear you would use, that sat in a drawer (maybe I can take off my registry?) ummm, I'm not really sure.  Anything specific you are questioning?

amahrey

1. How did you pick your pediatrician?  I asked on message boards online to get some recs and then looked at online reviews at our old house we lucked out with the first one we tried (he was a family dr) here, the first one we went to was horrible, so we switched (he insisted on giving my 2 year old a dum dum lollipop- wth?)

2. Does you pediatrician provide guidelines for how much and how often to eat?  When to transition to cereal then solids?  depending on your doc, it may vary how much they tell you- i would totally do your own research on this though- at least on the aap website.  i have heard of people getting crazy advice from docs- like giving your 5 month old a bottle of juice once a day?  aaaargh- no reason!  teeth ruining!  started killing the mama's nursing supply! dr's don't always get tons of training in nutrition and sometimes pass on pretty outdated info- check it out yourself. 

3. Survival tips for the first few weeks at home?  Accept the help when people offer it.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Sleep as much as you can when the baby sleeps. i totally copied this part from someone above because it is totally right on.  a well-rested mama is a high functioning mama- no one will care if your house is a mess or you are still in pj's at noon.  sleep when you can!

DonnaMartinGraduates

1. How did you pick your pediatrician? He was referred by a couple friends. I never did the interviewing thing with pedi's- it just seemed like a waste of time to me and I would have had to take off work to do it, therefor cutting into my PTO for maternity leave. I figured if  we didn't like him we would just switch. Turned out that we loved him! 

2. Does you pediatrician provide guidelines for how much and how often to eat?  When to transition to cereal then solids? Yes, they gave us a handout at each visit with info on what our baby should be doing, what he might be doing and what was coming up next.

3. Survival tips for the first few weeks at home? Sleep when you can, accept any help that is offered and learn to love your washing machine because you will be using it a lot! If you are a c/s mom, take your pain meds and move around a lot.

JessicaG56

bhilyer:

1. How did you pick your pediatrician?

2. Does you pediatrician provide guidelines for how much and how often to eat?  When to transition to cereal then solids?

3. Survival tips for the first few weeks at home?

1. I used my family dr. I have known her for yrs and I think if u have a normal healthy child there is no problem taking them to a gp. If there were an issue I would find a specialist 2. Yes she is great! She is actually a cnp and stays up very well on issues and isn't afraid to say she doesn't know something but let's find someone who does. 3. For you I don't know never had twins but I can say this u won't break them and a mistake doesn't mean ur a horrible mom. I think def the first time u r so hard on urself..breastfeeding isn't the awesome thing everyone makes it seem! Yes it's a great experience but is a painful,bloody,time consuming process. Don't feel bad if u can't do it. I was sooooo upset with myself when I couldn't do the feeding but had to pump. I beat myself up..just have to let it go! And help,help,and more help! Let hubby do a lot! My mom was my saving grace!

DonnaMartinGraduates

1) How tired are you really when LO comes home? I wasn't that tired for the first week or so at home, then it hit me shortly after that. I had major milk supply issues so I was either trying to BF, doing laundry or pumping at all hours of the day and all I really wanted to do was take a nap.  

2) How messy was your house? I hate messes, and I can see myself stressing out even more with LO at home, I want everything perfect when she's there!!!! Babies come with a TON of stuff! The swing, bouncy seats, pack n play, play mats, etc started to make me feel a little claustrophobic, but I quickly learned what I did/did not need and it got better. We have a small house so the baby clutter was really noticeable.  I just lived with it for a while at first when I didn't have time to pick up and then tried to be good about keeping things tidy when I got into my groove of taking care of the baby.

3) What item did you swear you would use, that sat in a drawer (maybe I can take off my registry?) Well I swore that we needed a pack n play- we had it set up in the living room for a little while but most of our house is on on level so we really didn't need it. When we visited the grandparents they each had their own so we didn't need it then either. We did end up taking it to a friends house a couple times but I wish that money would have been spent better.

JessicaG56

elisbu:

1) How tired are you really when LO comes home?

2) How messy was your house? I hate messes, and I can see myself stressing out even more with LO at home, I want everything perfect when she's there!!!!

3) What item did you swear you would use, that sat in a drawer (maybe I can take off my registry?)

. 1. I remember coming home with landon and just wanting to sleep. I took a quick nap and woke up to the most painful boobs ever! I was in tears trying to figure the pump out! U almost forget how tired u r! Looking bad now that was nothing! I am more tired now! Just truly try to get hubby to take some feedings or evening duty so u can sleep it does help! U get over the tiredness..IMO. Then one day u realize hey I slept! 2. Get over it!! U won't have a clean house. I can say I think Landon was like 2 months old before I got his hospital stuff put away lol my husband for some reason turns into a clean freak after a baby which is great but that isn't typical. If there is a mess so be it! It will be there tomorrow! 3. Many things! The wipe warmer--my husband hates it! The diaper Jeanie! It is in the garage waiting for a g.s. The swaddling blankets! They aren't big enough from the stores! My boys were 21 inches long and they didn't even come close to fitting ! Go to a fabric store and get material, soft material and use that! My mw brought every mom a blanket that she made! It was awesome!

00tedsgirl

Picking a ped- I asked friends who have similar tastes as me

Feeding advice- no.  That's a parenting issue, IMO, not a medical one and I don't ask for or get parenting tips from my kid's doctor.  If I were to ask, I'm sure any of them would give parenting advice since they all have kids, but I have plenty of parent friends and family to ask.

Survival tips- I actually made a list of things that I knew would need to be done daily or near daily so visitors would not have to ask me what I needed done.  I also put together a bucket for each room with the cleaning supplies I used in those rooms and a printout of explicit directions for our washer and dryer.  Things I included: empty dishwasher, thaw tomorrow's dinner, move laundry to next step, wipe toilets, take trash out, etc.  Before it sounds like I was demanding a maid service, let me say that we did most of the things on the list.  It was just nice to have something available so that if I was sleeping or taking a shower people could still be helpful.

How tired?  Very.  We both took lots of naps with the baby.  DH came home overnight while I was in the hospital so we both got a chance to get some good sleep before being home alone with the baby.  Within a few days we had hit our stride, though.  I bet I would have been more energetic quicker if I had had a shorter labor, too.

Mess- Not too bad.  See the list above.  Also, DH was home to help keep things tidy.

Things you don't need- well, I guess we are minimalists.  We gave a lot of things away.  Never saw the need to have a million activities for a baby with a short attention span.  You don't need a playmat if you have a blanket.  You don't need a bouncy, and swing, and jumper, and bumbo, and exersaucer but one or two is useful.  The jumper, bumbo and saucer aren't really useful until baby can sit up anyway.  We bought the Fisher Price Intellitainer (used) instead of a saucer and it still gets used at least weekly.

MeredithElese

If I'm BFing what kind of help can DH do during the night while he's off for paternity leave? I want to be able to give him specific 'here is how you can help me' jobs. Won't I have to feed LO every couple hours anyway?

amandabrooke81

bhilyer:

1. How did you pick your pediatrician? I asked friends, posted on the local Board, and my OB gave me a list of about 30 recommended practices. I chose to go with a larger practice due to their resources and very strong reputation. We love our Pedi and he'll also be DD's Pedi.

2. Does you pediatrician provide guidelines for how much and how often to eat? Yes for infants, but lately our Well Sheets mostly have general recommendations past 1 year.  When to transition to cereal then solids? Yes, although for some cases, I've heard my practice has suggested skipping cereals...it's really a case-by-case deal. Personally, we delayed cereals before solids {cereal @ 4.5 mos for 2 wks, didn't work so waited to re-intro cereals @ 6mos then transitioned to solids}

3. Survival tips for the first few weeks at home? If you have help offered, take it! My mom stayed with me for 6 wks {but then again I was a single mom with DS & we also get along really well}. I had church people/friends bring over meals. These things were HUGE!  Also, don't worry about the chores & sleep when your LO sleeps

ToBeMrsC6907

bhilyer:

1. How did you pick your pediatrician?

2. Does you pediatrician provide guidelines for how much and how often to eat?  When to transition to cereal then solids?

3. Survival tips for the first few weeks at home?

1. I asked my OB for recs since they work closely with them in the hospital.  Then I narrowed it down based on proximity to my house!

2. I EBF and nursed on demand.  Yes they will give you recs regarding cereal and solids as well.

3. Just enjoy every minute!  I would say "sleep when baby sleeps" but I was never one to do that...just do what you can, trust your instincts, accept help from others whenever you can.

EJensify

MeredithElese:

If I'm BFing what kind of help can DH do during the night while he's off for paternity leave? I want to be able to give him specific 'here is how you can help me' jobs. Won't I have to feed LO every couple hours anyway?

Yes, you will.

Hand off the baby for diaper changes while DH is on paternity leave. When you're getting up with LO, ask him for a glass of water, or to turn on the TV and find something to watch together. It can get boring waiting for a sleeping baby to finish nursing...the most important thing that I wished I'd had more of with DD was just some company at night.

ToBeMrsC6907

elisbu:

1) How tired are you really when LO comes home?

2) How messy was your house? I hate messes, and I can see myself stressing out even more with LO at home, I want everything perfect when she's there!!!!

3) What item did you swear you would use, that sat in a drawer (maybe I can take off my registry?)

1. I wasn't that tired for the first couple of weeks, because honestly I think you are running on adrenaline- you are so excited about this new LO and so wanting to do everything right, that I didn't even notice how tired I was.  It was around week 3 or 4 that the exhaustion set it...but shortly after that is when DS started sleeping better (4-5 hour stretches rather than 2-3) so that made a HUGE difference.

2. Not very.  I wasn't one that could "sleep when baby sleeps".  When DS wasn't sleeping or nursing, I was picking up the house, doing laundry, organizing/uploading photos, answering calls/emails...I used that time to catch up on "me" stuff.

3. Swaddle-me wraps- we just used receiving blankets.  Pacifiers- DS never took one!

katieguth

MeredithElese:

If I'm BFing what kind of help can DH do during the night while he's off for paternity leave? I want to be able to give him specific 'here is how you can help me' jobs. Won't I have to feed LO every couple hours anyway?

I'm a first time mom.  However, I was just told this by a parent in my classroom who just had a baby.  Her husband is sleeping in the family room with their LO and bringing her into Mommy to feed when she's fussy or its time to eat.  Then he brings her back out so that Mom can get some sleep.  It's only for a few weeks while he's home.  I just thought it was a fabulous idea.  Don't know if we will do it, but its a thought for sure.

ToBeMrsC6907

MeredithElese:

If I'm BFing what kind of help can DH do during the night while he's off for paternity leave? I want to be able to give him specific 'here is how you can help me' jobs. Won't I have to feed LO every couple hours anyway?

I let DH get the baby, bring him to me, and do diaper changes.  After awhile, and when DH went back to work, it was honestly easier for me to just do it all myself- more efficient!