"no gifts" for kids parties?

KathrynMD

There was a discussion thread on the toddler board last week about how some parents are now doing a "No Gifts Please" request on invites for kids parties. 

I have never seen this, but others said it was a common occurence in their areas.  I kind of get the idea that your kid already has enough crap, but IMO gifts and cake are sort of the definition of a kids party.  Its one thing for adults to say to other adults - hey, I have enough, please dont' feel obligated to get me anything, etc. but sort of cutting off your kids, seems silly to me.  (and, of course, there's always the issue w/ someone following the "no gifts" directive, but then showing up to see that they are the only ones who did.)

Thoughts?  is this something you've seen/experienced?  Would you consider doing it?

mrs. remy

I see both sides of it. Yes, DS has a ton of toys. He doesn't need anything else. But, seeing him rip into presents with delight kind of goes hand-in-hand with the birthday thing for me. Not sure I would want to take that away from him.

I just go through his toys regularly and regift/freecycle/consign as needed.

shoeboxx

Boo on that posts!  My house is filled with toys from top to bottom, but I don't discourage people from buying him gifts.  I suggested books for his birthday, but he received toys anyway.  My thoughts, if it's something I don't want him to have, I can donate it or something....no big deal.

anonsouthernbell

I have been going back and forth on this one right now for a few months as part of me feels like we should do that for my ds' 2nd birthday.  I have also been toying around w/the idea of people donating money or gifts to a charity instead.  I am just not sure as I would love to see him opening gifts but I think its about people coming to the party not what they bring.  I also feel that there is too much commercialism/materialism and I don't want son getting caught up in that.  Plus we are ridiculously blessed and I would love to share some of that with others.  Finally, some of my friends are in a hard spot financially and I really don't expect them to get my son anything.

 

With all that being said...I have been invited to a birthday party where I was told not to worry about the gift but I brought one anyway.  I love buying gifts for others and seeing the delight on a child's face when they open up their toys.  So that is my conundrum.  

 

What do you guys think about birthday registries?  the first time I saw one I was so turned off that I didn't go to the party.  I do think that they can be helpful for people that don't know what to buy, but I think that the information should only be supplied if people ask for it and not in the invitation.  Thoughts?

KathrynMD

anonsouthernbell:

What do you guys think about birthday registries?  the first time I saw one I was so turned off that I didn't go to the party.  I do think that they can be helpful for people that don't know what to buy, but I think that the information should only be supplied if people ask for it and not in the invitation.  Thoughts?

I don't like that idea at all - its silly for a little kid.  If somebody doesn't know what to get, they'll ask around or they'll get something wildly inappropriate that you say thank you for - and put aside to either re-gift or use later or give away. 

For DD's birthday, one of our neighbors asked what DD liked - I said butterlies and Dora the Explorer - she (and her 5 yo daughter) had a total adventure and ended up getting DD a kid's butterfly net and a Dora shirt w/ butterflies on it!  DD loved it and I didn't even know/think about getting her a butterfly net - if I'd had a "registry" I would have never thought about that or put it on there.  Somebody also got DD these really cool bristle blocks for her birthday - that again, I never would have thought to ask for, but DD plays with them almost every day.  The fun of presents is sort of seeing what ideas other people have. 

FieryIrishAngel

I wouldn't put it on the invitations for my daughter's modest birthday parties of approximately 20 guests, but I've been to HUGE parties for children where the number of gifts is staggering and becomes the picture of American Excess.  If we threw huge parties I'd probably say "no presents please" on the invite.  I think presents are part of the birthday fun, but I'd hate to have a bazillion toys taking over my house, too.

ucgrad

For Sophia's 1st birthday, we said no presents. There were mulitple reasons for this. 1. Our house isn't big enough for a bunch of toys. If everyone got her a "little people" something, we wouldn't have anywhere to put more than 2 of them. 2. She wasn't old enough to be opening presents in front of people (in the end, she of course didn't open any of her presents). 3. A lot of the people invited were parents with kids born in the same couple of months. So, we were going to each other's parties and I didn't want anyone not to come because they couldn't/didn't want to buy presents for all the other kids too.

A few people did bring gifts but many did not.

I personally like when people say no presents. I don't mind purchasing a gift, don't get me wrong. But, I am happy when "getting a birthday present" isn't another thing on my to-do list.

kelleymark82606

If we decide to have a larger party for dc, we will most certainly put on the invite no gifts please.  If we just do the family (immediate), then no we won't put no gifts.  I'm torn on what to do because if I invite one person outside of immediate family then it's going to turn into a huge party which isn't what we wanted, but I also want a few of my close friends/family there to celebrate.

DC doesn't need 30 gifts from different families, if someone wants to give they will no matter what, but I want them there to celebrate dc turning 1 not to bring dc a gift.  I see nothing wrong with it when they are 1, they have no clue and the party is for the parents anyway.

DC will have gifts from family, so it isn't like dc will be deprived.

daisyterp

ditto kelley & ucgrad.  

For DD's first & 2nd b-days we had big parties/playgroups/family happy hours.  I just sent evites, and put no presents because due to the number of families invited there was no way we could open presents, she has enough stuff, I didn't want people to feel obligated to bring a gift, etc.  Of course plenty of people did bring presents, but I didn't want people to feel like they had to-

My kids get more than enough presents from us, their grandparents, aunt & uncles, etc.  So saying no gifts on her "friends" party is in no way limiting their joy in terms of ripping into presents.  

weezie825

I wish this conversation had happened a week ago...  I had no idea how to handle this for DDs 1st birthday party.  We are having a huge party.  A lot of people still haven't met our daughter, since she was quarentined for the first few months and we never got around to having our welcome home party. 

I was going to put something on the flyer about presents being unnecessary.  I don't want it to look like a gift grab!  But in the end I left it off because I couldn't think of a good way to handle it. 

KRMac

We requested no gifts (Dr. Seuss party, so we rhymed it with the invitation in a cute way.)  Honestly, DS has everything he needs as far as toys and tons of clothes.  We had a book shower, so we have so many books (and repeats that we can't exchange without receipts, etc.)  We still have toys that he hasn't opened from Christmas in our basement!  

We're just having a "friends" party, since our family isn't local and our friends have all been so generous to us and DS already.  Our childless friends threw us an awesome shower, our friends with kids bought DS tons of stuff when he was born, some even gave him Christmas gifts.  I just don't want them all to feel like every time we get together, they are buying him a gift, KWIM?  

anonsouthernbell

KRMac:

We requested no gifts (Dr. Seuss party, so we rhymed it with the invitation in a cute way.)  Honestly, DS has everything he needs as far as toys and tons of clothes.  We had a book shower, so we have so many books (and repeats that we can't exchange without receipts, etc.)  We still have toys that he hasn't opened from Christmas in our basement!  

We're just having a "friends" party, since our family isn't local and our friends have all been so generous to us and DS already.  Our childless friends threw us an awesome shower, our friends with kids bought DS tons of stuff when he was born, some even gave him Christmas gifts.  I just don't want them all to feel like every time we get together, they are buying him a gift, KWIM?  

 

You could always donate the extra books to your local library, a women's shelter, etc.