Dont know how to feel

LadyDelilah

**DISCLAIMER: CIO is not evil and I get that its the only thing that works for some babies sometimes ALSO I am not one to push my views on my friends**

That being said

A good friend of mine is pregnant with her first baby and she lives in NC. She was on SKYPE with me and Evangelina started to fuss and then went into a full wail I said I had to go because she is used to co-sleeping and I was being to loud for her and it was late any way...

She said " Oh wait... you let the baby sleep in bed with you? Hell to the no I am going to stick my baby in its room and let it cry itself to sleep it wont ruin my sleep too I am already ruining my body for it"

I was initially shocked and after it wore off I sent her a few articles on CIO in young infants and bed sharing yadda yadda She didnt mention the articles but has been talking to me like nothing is wrong... But now I feel weird talking to her...

This will pass right? Do you think shes just talking nonsense? Should I let it go or try and actually talk to her about it?

Ananke

I talked a lot of nonsense like that when I was pregnant.  I had no clue what the reality of motherhood is like, and I'm a very sarcastic person by nature.  I often say off beat things that people might find alarming, but I don't really mean anything by them.  Especially when I was pregnant, I said some pretty crazy stuff about the little guy!  It's easy to say what you will and won't do when you aren't actually in a situation.  I'd probably let it go for now and wait until she actually has the baby.  The subject may come up again at that point, and you can then try steering her toward gentler options.

KateLouise

I think this is the first time I've ever heard an expectant mother plan for her baby not to ruin her sleep, I mean what does she think a baby does? STTN form day one?

Having said that, pre-motherhood I had all sorts of hard line ideas about parenting, and then there was a baby and I've stuck to none of them.

 So I'd be inclined to wait it out and see how she goes once she has an actual baby. If she also has lots of CIO fans around her, she might not have many other ideas on what else she can do if CIO ends up not sitting all that well with her.

shaunna&chad

KateLouise:

I think this is the first time I've ever heard an expectant mother plan for her baby not to ruin her sleep, I mean what does she think a baby does? STTN form day one?

Having said that, pre-motherhood I had all sorts of hard line ideas about parenting, and then there was a baby and I've stuck to none of them.

 So I'd be inclined to wait it out and see how she goes once she has an actual baby. If she also has lots of CIO fans around her, she might not have many other ideas on what else she can do if CIO ends up not sitting all that well with her.

This.  I parent completely differently than I ever thought I would.  Partly because of how becoming a mother changed my ways of thinking, and partly because my DS wouldn't let me do things differently :-)    I wouldn't make too big a deal of it.  She may change her thinking eventually, and even if she doesn't do AP, it doesn't mean she's a bad mom.

nekorayne

Yea, we all had things that we said we would never do when pregnant and then we had a baby and we did them! I could not get EC, I thought it odd and forcing potty training to young. But then I had Raz and I realized how much sense it made and that I was not giving babies enough credit! I am not great with it, but I really thik it is a great practice now! I also said similar things about Raz being on scedule, yea he may be on a very losse routine...but certainly not a scedule. In other words I was talking out my butt

I do hope she is a sarcastic person. She could have been joking. If she was serious I can't stand the women who say they ruined their body for LO so they "owe them".  I also really hope she is joking about the sleep, most pregnant women go into motherhood expecting to lose sleep. It is apart of being a mom

HappyMommy28

Let it go.  She is probably joking or will change after the baby arrives.  That being said - it is her kid.  So, even if she does CIO as a newborn there is nothing you can do.  But I really, really hope she doesn't.

jsugrin

Ehh, let it go.  She doesn't have a kid yet = she knows nothing of how she'll parent.

When I was pregnant with my first I used to tell DH, oh no I don't want him in the room with us, he's going to start right in his crib so he doesn't get any bad habits, yada yada yada.

He spent the entire first 6 weeks on my chest, the first 3 months in our bed, finally moved to his crib (sometimes) and spent his time from 23 months -29 months in bed with us every night, we have now moved our bed into his room so that he can sleep as much as he wants in his own bed yet get up and get in bed with us easily.

Soooo yeah, don't let it make you uncomfortable just remember you've walked where she hasn't.

LadyDelilah

RoseTor:

Let it go.  She is probably joking or will change after the baby arrives.  That being said - it is her kid.  So, even if she does CIO as a newborn there is nothing you can do.  But I really, really hope she doesn't.

No I know and anyway she lives in NC and I dont expect her to have the same views as me at all the reason I am/was bothered is because it seemed so out of charachter for her. She is such a sweet person with a really gentle spirit so IDK maybe its pregnancy hormones but what she said and HOW she said it just stuck with me I guess I just needed a sounding board for the conversation

Thanks Ladies

someflower6

as the other ladies said, it's easy to talk that game when the LO is still in the womb!

but also keep in mind that some people really do believe CIO is perfectly acceptable during infancy. if you really don't want to push your views on others, you better start practicing now!

Dreamsicle23

Just keep it to yourself.  I bet she'll feel differently when there's a real, live baby crying next to her.  The "just you wait..." comments while pregnant were the worst.  Also, most people on here don't appreciate being told to CIO, so why would you tell someone who believes differently not to?