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luvmybaby28

I have an 8.5 month old who is also starting to try to get into things that he should not, like trying to grab the phone and eat it when I am on the phone with family members who want to say hello to him.  I would rather he bite a teething toy than the phone, but he only wants to grab and eat the phone.  I understand that he is young and most likely will not understand if I say no and give him another toy to bite on, but I find it impossible to put all items out of sight that you don't want the baby getting into.  Not really sure the point of my post, I guess that I just think there will be times at home and while out that I will have to tell him that something is not a good thing to do, but is using the word no a huge no-no?? I also always read that you are supposed to stop nursing when the baby keeps biting you, so isn't that taking something away that the baby isn't supposed to do?  So the baby is understanding not to bite, but not that they should not play with certain objects when they are taken away?

rhythmicgoldfish

we use the word no in our house as all the time and our 2 y/o understands what it mean. he also uses the word no but he is very polite about it, if he doesn't want to do something he will say no and we respect his choice i.e. 'Eli may i have a kiss' he will ether give me a kiss or say no but he is not a brat about it

jsugrin

Using the word no is not a huge "no-no" but they've done studies that show if it's the only tool in your arsenal that babies/kids become de-sensenitized  to it, it goes in one ear and out the other, KWIM?  You want no to be a word with weight to it, a word that when they hear it the stop in their tracks.

In order to do that you redirect when you can, that's not for you-here play with this,. Use descriptive words as much as possible, hot, cold, danger, hurt. We used a ton of " Not for Andrew, not for Andrew", mostly when he wanted to play with cords.  I also find stop to be way more effective than no.

SoftSpot

Big time lurker here just coming out to comment. I don't have kids but I do nanny full time. The family is AP in many ways and have found alternative ways other than saying no to everything. Your baby is probably a bit young for this, but it could catch on shortly. Instead of saying what you don't want him to do tell him what he should do.

When the kiddo reaches for something on the table like my water bottle I say "eyes only K" and she leaves it alone. If she is playing with my phone and goes towards her mouth I say "hands only K" etc. It works really well for us and I'm not constantly saying no no no! It seems to be a gentler approach.

I hope you find something that works for you.

mrstarawalsh

Honestly I use the word "no". I also don't babyproof (with the exception of dangerous things). I do a lot of redirection and say "here, THIS is for you". My daughter will be 10 months old in a few days and she tries to go after my lap top all the time. But before she touches it she'll look back at me with her hand kind of stretched out to it like "Is Mimi going to stop me this time?" I'll say "no no" and she'll stop, pull her hand back, then go after it again, stop look at me, and I'll redirect.  I believe kids should learn that there are just some things that are not for them.

nekorayne

I agree with PP, No is ok, but should not be the only thing you have in your arsenal. We do misdirection/distraction , hot, OW!, stop, "Not for Raz", and UGH (this one works great). I try misdirection and distraction when possible.  I want no to be the word that holds punch. We do say it, just not all the time

bh2720

like some pp have said, at his age, your best bet is to redirect, redirect, redirect.

I don't have an issue with saying "no" at all, but 8.5 months it not really going to sink in :-)

huber22

The only time we say "no" is when he is playing with the stand that has the TV on it. Otherwise its redirect, redirect, redirect. We haven't completely baby-proofed either. But we do have some photos that he can reach, and honestly, when its just us home, they are behind the couch, out of reach. When we have company and are doing the "toy pick-up" we pull them out and he leaves them alone.

When my mom is watching DS, she'll say "no, no, no" while sitting on the couch. It doesn't stop him, because the word "no" doesn't mean anything to him yet. But, by saying "No, TVs aren't for babies" and removing him from the situation, he's figured out that "Oh, I'm not supposed to be here." (But he'll still try it)

tct1219

i have actually been trying to find a no substitute for a while now. i have 3 huge dogs and they don't respond to no as much as they do to some kind of redirection because i think i wore "no" out. i'm also trying to get out of the "no" habit so that i don't do the same thing to bay.

i like the idea PP suggested of saying things like "hands only". i think that just mixing it up with a few different things will keep any one command from losing its meaning. here's a link i found that has some suggestions.

StrawberryAlarmClock

tct1219:

i have actually been trying to find a no substitute for a while now. i have 3 huge dogs and they don't respond to no as much as they do to some kind of redirection because i think i wore "no" out. i'm also trying to get out of the "no" habit so that i don't do the same thing to bay.

i like the idea PP suggested of saying things like "hands only". i think that just mixing it up with a few different things will keep any one command from losing its meaning. here's a link i found that has some suggestions.

::butting in:: Thanks for the link! ::butting out::