Not breastfeeding, is this wrong??

crickit21

I had my baby on Tuesday morning of this week.  I have had the worst pain and discomfort with breastfeeding and he is not learning how to latch well.  I am so emotionally drained from the pain from childbirth that I have right now and everything else that is going on with hormones etc.  I just don't think I can continue with breastfeeding.  Is this a bad thing?  Is anyone else bottle feeding?

Mama_SAS

DD was formula fed from birth. It is NOT wrong to feed your baby and don't let anyone tell you that it is.

 

However, if you do want help with breastfeeding there are plenty of women here and IRL who can help with what you are going through. There is also a Breastfeeding board, which I've heard is very helpful as well.

momranda

I'm doing both, but breast feeding less each day. Im currently living with my mom and step dad, and another family friend (male) is staying with them as well. That makes it hard for me to feed him during the day without spending 8 hours alone in my tiny bedroom. I started to formula feed after a week because holing myself up in my room feeding all day really took a toll on me emotionally. Plus my left side is totally out of order. The pediatrician said this isn't an issue as long as he is feeding fine between the breast milk and formula. So now that im getting closer to work I pump twice a day, breast feed in the morning, before bed and overnight, and he gets formula all day. 

So dont feel bad about it, breastfeeding isnt always a success for everyone. As long as LO is getting the amt they need its fine. 

swimming47

You have to do what is best for you.  remember a happy mom=happy baby.

 

Like PP said if you do want to BF, you can get help from others. 

abell77

It's definitely a personal choice.  And while I could go on about the benefits of breastfeeding, my goal is not to make you feel guilty if you think you can't continue with BF.

But what I would urge you to consider is not giving up just yet.  Give it six weeks.  The beginning is the hardest part and so many women give up early because of this.  It does get easier as time goes on and it doesn't hurt forever, I promise you.  If you want to supplement with formula, that's not the end of the world, but exclusively breastfeeding is the best thing to help you establish your milk supply and help your LO develop a proper latch.

See a lactation consultant, more than once if you need to.

If you can stick with it and make it work, there are great rewards in store for both you and LO.

Good Luck.

littlei3776

NOT AT ALL!!!  I was planning to breast feed but it didn't work out.  DS has been formula feed since birth.  I was a little disappointed at first then got over it.  

Five Months to Plan

It is totally fine if that is what is best for both of you. I can tell you that I almost gave up breastfeeding when LO was 6 days old. I was in pain from birth and crying all the time. I sat in the chair to try and feed and it hurt sooooo bad. My nipples had been bleeding for days. I did two things: 1. I got support. (actually DH did not know what to do so he called my mom. She came over and talked to me. I just needed to talk to someone who has BFed. 2. I bought a good pump. I was able to pump to give myself a break and let me nipples heal. I then was able to go on Bfing. I know some people though who just pump.

Whatever you choose is the best choice for you. Please know that you are not the only one who felt overwhelmed and helpless.

P.S Almost 11 weeks and still BFing and pumping. 

TBLilyRose

The first couple weeks are the worst. I almost quit a few times. It does get better! If you really want to breastfeed, stick it out. Pump if you have to. Use cream and Soothies for relief. If you think LO is not latching properly, call an LC. But if you still decide it's not for you, then go to the formula. It certainly doesn't make you a bad mom.

LaurenandMack

I agree with PP- do what is best for YOU!  But I will say, the first week of breastfeeding is the hardest.  Once I got past week one, the pain was gone.  So IMO, I would try to hang in there.  I have breastfed and formula fed and both have their negatives and positives.  Just do what you think is best for you and will keep you sane.  Good luck, and if you continue to try, I promise, it gets easier!!!

ALYEATS84

We had similar issues and I tried pumping but due to complications pumping made me extremely sick to my stomach.  So as of Thursday night we decided to exclusively bottle feed formula.  I felt guilty at first but I decided a happy mom = happy baby.  I was so stressed over the breastfeeding (or attempts at) and pumping.

Dreamsicle23

I may get flamed for this - but I really don't think breastfeeding is worth the hassle.  I'm so glad I quit and stopped torturing myself.  When you meet an adult can you tell if they were BF or FF?

Kat_Bride

Dreamsicle23:

I may get flamed for this - but I really don't think breastfeeding is worth the hassle.  I'm so glad I quit and stopped torturing myself.  When you meet an adult can you tell if they were BF or FF?

Kat_Bride

Dreamsicle23:

I may get flamed for this - but I really don't think breastfeeding is worth the hassle.  I'm so glad I quit and stopped torturing myself.  When you meet an adult can you tell if they were BF or FF?

No flames, but it really can be so rewarding and bonding if you stick it out after the first couple of weeks.  I was pretty ambivalent at first, but now I love it.

MaddysMama07

We chose to FF from birth for both girls. There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby in whichever way works the best for you and your family.

If you do want to continue BF'ing then maybe you can call a lactation consultant to help with the latching issue. 

Mama_SAS

Dreamsicle23:

I may get flamed for this - but I really don't think breastfeeding is worth the hassle.  I'm so glad I quit and stopped torturing myself.  When you meet an adult can you tell if they were BF or FF?

Hey, I agree with you - it's not worth the hassle for me at all, but I'm on 3 meds that I can't take while BFing. I would basically be bedridden without them. BFing is certainly not worth missing my kid's first year of life due to crippling pain.

However, it is apparently worth it to others. Whatever.

TakeLuck

It's not wrong. You have to do what it right for you and your baby. However, it WILL get easier if you do decide to stick with it. I know it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel now but the pain and rush of hormones will be gone in a few days and you might find that you have a new rush of energy and enthusiasm about it.

starsmaycollide

I FF from the beginning. Don't beat yourself up about this or what others might think.

Yes, it can be a bonding experience and rewarding and positive for some. But if it isn't for you, then don't do it. Do what is best for your family  

Angel5218

I don't think it is wrong but I will agree with the other girls and give it some time if your heart is truly set on BF.

I had the worst pain the first two weeks of BF. I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to quit. My nipples cracked and bled and I cringed everytime DS would want to nurse. Each time I thought to myself "I am done with this, its too much to handle". I had a difficult labor that lead into an emergency c-section so I totally get being emotionally and physically drained. Each time I took a deep breath, latched him on, grimaced in pain, curled my toes and cried. Without support from my SIL, my lactation consultant, and girls on the bf forums I would had quit the 3rd day.

After the first week it started to get better. By the end of the second week I hardly had any pain. I went to BF forums like the one on this website and those girls really helped me through the hard parts.

Again I do not want to guilt you either, in the end it is your choice. But know you are not alone and my advise would be that if its just the pain that is getting to you to just try to get through it. The first few weeks are brutal but the end result is so rewarding.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

juliane2004

Mama_SAS:

DD was formula fed from birth. It is NOT wrong to feed your baby and don't let anyone tell you that it is.

 

However, if you do want help with breastfeeding there are plenty of women here and IRL who can help with what you are going through. There is also a Breastfeeding board, which I've heard is very helpful as well.

This. Whatever is best for you is best for the baby.

jcole32444

There is absolutly nothing wrong with FF baby. It is your choice. If you do want to breastfeed have you tried a nipple shield to help latching, it worked for us. Just a thought.

CC.to.be

I had a similar style meltdown at about 3 weeks pp. I took a 5 day hiatus from breastfeeding and then re-approached it with a new outlook. I was much more relaxed with it after my little break. However, it did causes my supply to dwindle, but I got it back up by taking Fenugreek and bf at every meal and then pumping after, if he still seemed hungry after then I gave him formula. Sometimes you need to just take a step back and analyze the benefit. I still have to give him formula sometimes but he seems happy with both.

It would not be terrible if you switched to formula only. you have to do whats best for you, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty if you decide on formula.

Mrs.EmmaLouise

Two nights ago I had a huge breakdown about BFing. It hurt, she has a shallow latch, and i was dreadin when she was hungry. The next day it felt better (not great, but better). I think i was so frustrated i was tensing up making it harder on me. Sometimes a good cry is what you need, dont feel bad for getting frustrated. Ask someone for help, the hospital, your doc, an LC. You arent alone, BFing is hard. ((HUGS))