DH's confessions (kind of long)

ishka338

Last night MH went out with his friends from work and when he got home he was a little tipsy and aparently feeling kind of mushy.  He started telling me he was sorry and all this and at first I got worried, but then he said because he was kind of "jealous" of the baby.  He said he was affraid the baby was going to take all of my time and that I wouldn't have any time for him anymore or that I would change the way I act with him.

It really broke my heart to hear that.  I told him that I would always love him and make sure that we spend plenty of time together and as much as things are going to change, it will be a good change.  We had a nice long conversation about it all and I think he felt better afterwards.

A few weeks ago he also told me his biggest fear about delivery was him having to decide between me and the baby in a life-or-death situation.  I would have never thought MH would think of that.

MH is so not an emotional guy and he rarely tells me things like this and it just really hit me last night.  I also told him that we'll take it all one day at a time and in the end, things will be okay.

 

Has your husband or SO told you anything they're affraid of either with having a new baby or delivery or anything like that?

Birdies08

That's actually sweet I think it's great to get you guys talking about it now, so you're both aware of making time for each other being a priority afterwards!

I think MH is just scared he won't know what to do. I mean, we're both first time parents, but I have babysat/nannied for most of my life, and he thinks that makes me an expert. I keep telling him that we'll figure it out together and that I really don't know what I'm doing, so we both need to try and prepare. I hope he's able to get his confidence when he have the baby, because I do NOT want him to pawn off feedings/changings/bedtime because I "do it better". 

Temp356619000002780

That is very sweet... MH isn't very emotional either and when we went down to Miami for my surgery he advised me in advanced that he didn't care how, but he would be bringing me home. He didn't care if the babies made it or not. He isn't worried about our relationship and shows that he is very happy with our boys. I think guys fear the worst and just don't know how to share their feelings and it tends to come out at the worst time... 

ccmarinho

My husband had the same fear as yours! We just discussed what would be the right thing to do in that situation, so then he doesn't have to be stressed about it. It's so cute when they open up isn't it? It's nice to see that inside, mushy interior instead of the strong, tough exterior all the time.

jgengo0

Last weekend when we were out downtown with friends in his buzzed state he told me that he was sorry that he no longer "puts the moves on me," because he "feels weird." He told me that he is still very attracted to me, but he feels weird that they are "right there." I really didn't know what to tell him...kinda sucks lol.

JaqiDec04

My DH was raised with an alcoholic abusive father, and a manipulative mother (who obviously let her abusive husband beat on her kids).

DH's father is sober now. MIL is a bit more to deal with, but we have finally reached a comfortable relationship with them.

But this baby, and especially because its a girl, has been very difficult for DH. He's afraid he'll be a bad dad, turn into his father, doesn't know how to deal with a little girl (he is the oldest of two boys), and he has no real experience with babies. Plus, he's built like a football player and he's afraid he'll break them.

I don't even think he held his niece till she was about 4 months old.

It's difficult. But I just remember to always give positive reinforcement, and my Mom is really great about giving encouragement too (she understands where is he coming from).

Communication is the key, and the fact your DH talked to you is a good thing.

But no, you guys are not alone. :-) 

Turtle143

Awww, that is sweet. It's great that your H was able to somehow tell you his feelings. Communication is always important.

marchmay

Seeing the man that you love transform into a father is indescribable.

brandx725

My SO other says he just always afraid to see me in pain (while in labor). I always try to tell him that its ok because it is all just bringing us something beautiful. I guess its sweet but im afraid for him during labor if he doesnt want to see me screaming or in pain I hope he doesnt freak out at the gross stuff lol.

mari_gold

DH went out for a drink with his buddies one night when I was 39 weeks with our first. I picked him up from the bar and he was toasted. On the ride home he told me that his friends kept telling him they couldn't believe we were going to have a kid, so weird, can't believe he's ready for that, etc. etc. So, of course, the whole way home he's drunkenly talking about is he ready? He's nervous. He's not sure of this. Maybe he's not ready to be a dad. I'm a week away from my due date and I'm like, seriously? You couldn't have brought up any of this BEFORE?

In the end, though, I think it's just such a huge, life-changing thing that you'd be insane not to have some second thoughts or fears like your husband has. It shows that he's really thought about what pregnancy and childbirth actually is.

(And for the record, DH has been a fantastic father, so those last-minute fears didn't amount to a thing.)