High-Risk Pregnancy
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Anyone living with HG?
From time to time I have looked around for other ladies with hyperemesis. I am 26 weeks and still on TPN, can't work, nausea all the time. It's been very difficult emotionally and I find people have a hard time getting it. Anyone have or live through pretty advanced HG and have any words of encouragement? I get the feeling if you're out there you don't feel like getting out of bed, same as me. Which is maybe why I can't find you on the internet!
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Re: Anyone living with HG?
Hi,
I am not usually part of online groups, but had a harrowing day today (with people not getting it) and was looking for some support. I am 29 weeks myself and am struggling with trying to stay on zofran. I am not able to work either although it sounds like I am a little milder than you, given that the zofran works well enough that I can keep about half of what i eat down. I am also struggling emotionally and not sure I can offer too many words of encouragment. I have stalked a few other national forums and simply read some of the experiences of other women, which helps (sometimes). It sounds like most people have at least 2 people in their lives who understand and support them unconditionally. It took a while, but my family is now on board. I had to explain over and over that giving me more suggestions for things I could or should doing was only making me feel worse. It was tough at first because it felt like I was struggling with my own issues while having to somehow prove to everyone else how sick I really was or "trying harder" to get better. I think I just fell apart one day and let everyone have it. They were in shock, but i think they finally started to understand what a challenge I was facing every day.
I find that with the outside world, it is difficult to deal with people's confused and/or judgemental expressions when I try to explain what is happening. Today, I got an email from my daughters girl scout leader stating "pregnancy is not sickness. you are in a situation of your own choosing" This was in response to me trying to make alternative arrangements for my daughters badges etc.. I think that one statement for whatever reason has set me back emotionally more than is reasonable. It has helped at times to be able to write like this (I do it with my sister sometimes) and just spew thoughts and feeling knowing that you are not expected to stronger or more stoic or less emotional or anything. I understand what a daily struggle it is. I hate having to open my eyes in the morning and think that there are more days of this to come.
Have you checked out hyperemesis.org?
In many of the forums I've read, the women talk abut having the symptoms disappear almost immediately after birth, which is some consolation. I have a close friend who also went through it (twice) and she has been a great resource simply in helping me feel not quite as crazy. She says that she was often almost suicidal or contemplating abortion or begging for an early c-section or to be just sedated until the baby was born. She is not quite sure how she made it, but she did. While it doesn't give me any solutions, it helps me to know that she understands the daily struggle, the doubts, the anxiety, the guilt, that voice that keeps telling you that you're flawed or inadequate and could be doing or could have done something better or different. I joined this group just to be able to respond to you, so feel free to write back anything you think or feel. At the very least, i can be a sounding board.
all the best
I can't believe the insensitivity of your daughter's girl scout leader. We may have chosen to get pregnant but we did NOT choose this condition! And it IS a medical condition. I am so sorry that you have had to endure that remark. I think I haven't had to deal with a lot of that since my first trimester, when my husband told me to pull myself together (he has since learned better!!) The reality is I don't interact with the public much, I don't have other children and I have been cooped up all winter. It's gotten to the point where leaving the house makes me anxious, which makes me vomit. Luckily I have a good therapist who is guiding me through that.
I do feel guilty about not working. I had just started a new job in June and hadn't signed up for any short term disability and wasn't eligible for FMLA, after six weeks out of work they told me they had to find someone else. My husband has been working lots of overtime to make sure ends meet. I feel really guilty - I have to remind myself I'm not just lazing around doing nothing. I am growing a baby!!
I agree the worst part of the day is waking up in the morning. Some days I am in bed the entire day, which is a third nausea, a third anxiety, and a third depression. I worry a lot about when the baby gets here, that I won't be in any physical, much less mental, condition to take care of him. I still have yet to begin "refeeding" which apparently is quite painful and hard and while I want to be able to tolerate food by the time he's born I don't know if I will have been able to. I have this horrible image in my head of trying to nurse with my TPN running or the IV lines getting tangled in a dirty diaper. Not the cozy bonding scene I had imagined.
I too have thought of every scenario.... begging to have him early, being put into a medical coma, even sometimes feeling suicidal, wishing I had never gotten pregnant... it's so ironic because one of the nurses who comes out to my house lost 2 pregnancies, one at a late stage, and is having a terrible time getting pregnant again. I try to keep my whining to a minimum around her because in a year, in six months even, this will be a bad memory.
Thank you so much for responding to my post. I can't deal with most of this website and I go on to look at my ticker... 90 days to go. I feel so envious of women who have sailed through pregnancy, or who just have had the normal complaints. I also feel so left out of that joy that they share - I just want this over with ASAP and I'm never doing it again!
Please write back if you want, it was a wonderful surprise to have your reply there this morning. Take good care.
I had it with both my pregnancies. It was mild HG with the twins and severe with A. It's hard and people don't understand it if they don't have it. They associate it with m/s but HG is so much worse. HG is debilitating to your life and the way you live. I know how hard it is; I was at the end of my rope when I had it. Have you tried the Zofran pump? It was the only thing that helped just a bit for me. I spent countless days on the bathroom floor or in my bed.
If you want to talk, PM me. I'm a bit short on time at the moment but I will come back.