self soothing for a newborn--? from a previous post

AGrates

i know when young ones cry...they cannot be spoiled and should be held and comforted.  but how long do you let them fuss before picking up?  do you comfort at the first signs of fussing.  or give them a few minutes before comforting?

 

i ask because our LO fights her sleep and fusses when put in her swing to nap or when falling asleep at night.  she usually has 1-2 minute crying periods as she is falling asleep.  sometimes up to 5 mins when she is first put down. I usually let her go for a few minutes, especially when i know she is clean, fed, etc.  and when it sounds like her normal fighting sleep fuss.   in your opinion do you let her cry for awhile or pick her up immediately?  

watermellens

I think a few minutes of fussing is fine, as long as it's not screaming.

crusty1

I let him fuss if it's his fighting sleep fuss. If it goes on for a long time (like 5-10 minutes or more) then I double check that everything's OK & DH or I cuddle him a little while longer.

sometimesalwayschaotic

I let my LO fuss for a bit when I know she is really tired and fighting sleep.  Sometimes it seems that if I pick her up when she's like this I'm making it worse for her since then I'm overstimulating her.   I don't like to let her cry though.  If she wakes up in the middle of the nap I'll let her cry for a little bit since sometimes she is still asleep and it's just part of her sleep cycle but if she is awake I try to pick her up right away if it's an actual cry.

laurapalmer

If he actually cries I try comforting him without picking him up by laying my hands on his chest and head, stroking his hair, offering a pacifier, etc.  If that doesn't calm him down right away I pick him up because something else is going on. If he's just grunting or squirming I give him a couple of minutes before doing anything. 

lulu3061

We try not to let him cry.  Fussing for us is that "ehh, ehh, ehh" sound.  He wakes up occasionally and does that and we let him. When he's crying before he falls asleep we make sure to hold him or rock him but we don't let him cry without trying to comfort him.

taggiecb

there is a difference between fussing and crying. 

RumbleLina

I let DS fuss but the moment it turns into actual crying then I pick him up and soothe him. Once he get to the point of crying and screaming there is no turning back for him and he is far too young to let him cry it out.

Mrslovebugs

laceyjean1:

there is a difference between fussing and crying. 

This.

 If it's just fussing I let her be. If it's crying, I go get her.

Jennabug25

laurapalmer:

If he actually cries I try comforting him without picking him up by laying my hands on his chest and head, stroking his hair, offering a pacifier, etc.  If that doesn't calm him down right away I pick him up because something else is going on. If he's just grunting or squirming I give him a couple of minutes before doing anything. 

 

This is what we do exactly. He sometimes whimpers and grunts in his sleep too so I stopped running and give it a a couple minutes if his cry progresses into a scream then I pick him up and see if something else is going on.

Early this morning he was actually fussing and I changed his position a little and he stopped an passed right out.

pixieprincss

We don't let LO cry or fuss alone (barring when I am in the bathroom). Even in the car when I cannot help him right away, I keep talking to him so he knows he isn't alone. While I may not pick him up with every fuss, I can offer a comforting pat, shhhh, etc. For me, I want to teach him that I can be trusted to respond to his needs without him having to cry or wail. While LO may not be able to process that yet, it helps me get in the habit of now of responding to his communication. I like to think of these early days as me starting desirable habits with him or undesirable habits. Also, we believe in the child development theory that compassionate response to his communication even at this age helps his brain develop better.