I got hired! now how do I tell them I'm 27wks prego?

Athena0809

I posted here over a week ago about going on an interview and the comment I got the most was "don't mention it but don't hide it" So I did. I wore a lose top under my suit jacket and if you looked closely I mean you could tell but If you weren't looking for my belly you wouldn't even know it, and my interviewer never mentioned it.

So now it's the time to tell them, but here's the tricky part.1. He only deals with business via email, no calls. Do I call him to say "oh by the way..." 2. Before I start working I have to go through a mandatory training that runs for two weekends, so I wouldn't even start working until I'm at least 32 wks (training ends last week of march). 3. I'm due late May, I would work for a few weeks then off for maternity leave.

So, should I pick up the phone, and tell him "you may have noticed....this is my plan..." or do I send him an email about it, asking him if he prefers me calling him to discuss it or if he wants me to come in to his office? which option sounds better to you?

 Thanks for your input!

JNBrickey

I'd send him an email, asking him if he prefers you to come in or call him.  I'd definitely be up front with him now though, as opposed to waiting until 32 weeks or later.

CarrieLeigh84

Maybe things are done differently regarding maternity leave rights etc here, but I would be seriously upset if a potential employee had not been up front with me about this. Not because they're pregnant, obviously, but because I'd have to train them, and find a replacement while they were away on maternity leave, and then let that replacement go etc.

I guess it depends on the type of job, but I would for sure tell them sooner rather than later.

pam1005

CarrieLeigh84:

Maybe things are done differently regarding maternity leave rights etc here, but I would be seriously upset if a potential employee had not been up front with me about this. Not because they're pregnant, obviously, but because I'd have to train them, and find a replacement while they were away on maternity leave, and then let that replacement go etc.

I guess it depends on the type of job, but I would for sure tell them sooner rather than later.

I was thinking the same thing,  It is different when you are still in 1st tri, but in this situation you will be going through training and then only working for 2 months (or less), and then you will be taking time off.  I think this deserves a phone call.  You will only have two months to show them what you are capable of doing work wise, and I would be worried about keeping the job while on leave. 

tokenhoser

CarrieLeigh84:

Maybe things are done differently regarding maternity leave rights etc here, but I would be seriously upset if a potential employee had not been up front with me about this. Not because they're pregnant, obviously, but because I'd have to train them, and find a replacement while they were away on maternity leave, and then let that replacement go etc.

I guess it depends on the type of job, but I would for sure tell them sooner rather than later.

It's different when maternity leave is 6 weeks vs. a year here. In the States, she did what she had to to get a job and they would be sue-able if they considered her pregnancy in their hiring decision. 

If you're comfortable, I would talk on the phone or in person first, then follow up with concrete plans by email to nail down the probable dates and plan for your leave.

Callidryas

I don't understand why you would hide it from them in the interview.   Hope you get to keep this job.  If I were your employer, I would have a trust issue with you.

Athena0809

Well, I didn't mentioned it at the interview because it was a group interview and he told us, any personal issues/conflict with the hiring procedure or anything to contact him later. Plus I was only notified I got hired via email, and it's not really like I got "hired" I get a "sponsorship" for the training (because it's worth over $800) and based on scores I get a position offered. I won't be in employee status yet, until I have worked at least 80 hours as continget (after training). There isn't a 40 hour position available yet, so it's not like once I'm gone for maternity leave they have to scramble to find my replacement, that is why they keep dozens of continget and it is not a very formal type job, once choses her own hours/schedule for the same reason.

tokenhoser

I don't think you did anything wrong.

Are you supposed to just sit at home until June now? I assume you're looking for work because you need and want it.

Women get slammed no matter what they do in these situations.

everam01

I work in HR and it wouldn't bother me if someone didn't bring it up in an interview. It's not supposed to be a consideration when hiring anyway. 

It would, however, bother me if someone didn't mention it until right before they were going out on leave, so the sooner the better in your situation.  The only downside is that you're not protected by FMLA so if you aren't doing an amazing job they can let you go legally once you have the baby and are out of work. 

fragglefan

I'm in the same boat as you are except they spent maybe 1 day training me since I already had a year of experience in the same position at another company.  I'm planning to tell them at the end of March and if they ask before then, I will just tell them the truth.  I haven't tried to hide it at all but the reason I didn't mention it in my interview was because quite frankly, it had nothing to do with how well I do my job...which is damn well by the way.  And we NEEDED the money I am getting from this job BADLY.  My position is only a temp for 3 months and then they will review at the end of april to hire me on full time or not.  I'm sure they won't when they find out I need to take 6 weeks off so I can get the baby into daycare first but by that point my husband's promotion will have kicked in...

MrsDL

tokenhoser:

CarrieLeigh84:

Maybe things are done differently regarding maternity leave rights etc here, but I would be seriously upset if a potential employee had not been up front with me about this. Not because they're pregnant, obviously, but because I'd have to train them, and find a replacement while they were away on maternity leave, and then let that replacement go etc.

I guess it depends on the type of job, but I would for sure tell them sooner rather than later.

It's different when maternity leave is 6 weeks vs. a year here. In the States, she did what she had to to get a job and they would be sue-able if they considered her pregnancy in their hiring decision. 

If you're comfortable, I would talk on the phone or in person first, then follow up with concrete plans by email to nail down the probable dates and plan for your leave.

Not necessarily on the lawsuit thing - you'd have to prove the only reason you were not hired over somebody else was because of the pregnancy and this is, unfortunately, very hard to do.

Not telling them was bad advice. For one - you are starting with a new employer and whether or not you want to believe it, it looks like you were being purposely deceptive. The other thing is FMLA eligibility requirements state that an employee must work for an employer for 12 consecutive months to receive - so this employer does not have to give you any time off under FMLA. Many benefits, like STD and maternity leave, have minimum time with a company before you can use as well. So basically, you didn't tell them or work something in the case you were hired (if they really liked you and you had a leg up on other candidates, many employers can be negotiated with regarding this if you are up-front).

I'm not going to get into the fact that they have to utilize resources to train you and then train somebody else - I would be pretty upset if a candidate did not admit this up-front and guess what - I'd still hire them if they were best but I'd make some plans in advance, want to talk about unpaid time off, etc. I hire people all the time that alert me to vacations they have planned but know they won't have accrued time to take. I know it's different, but if you like a candidate you are willing to do what you have to do to hire them as long as they are honest.

All you can do know is tell him - I'd try to avoid e-mail at all costs and go and see him if you can - an e-mail just looks like you knew your were being deceptive and are tyring to avoid the face-to-face. I know you don't want to hear this and you used advice from others, but it was bad advice and you should ahve done more research. What if you get no time off other than what little sick or vacation time you accrue in the next few weeks? You'd have no choice but to quit.

tokenhoser

PP, you may think it was bad advice, but that's really just your opinion from your perspective. You say you wouldn't consider it, but if you're this adamant about how she should have told and what a waste of resources it is to train her... I doubt that. Now she knows they would hire her - it's a non-issue. Ranting about what a bad idea it was not to point to her belly and tell at a group interview isn't really relevant.

Again, what if she's better off making some money between now and May even if it does end in being laid off? In this world, at the end of the day, you need to look out for yourself and your family first.

I bet she'd get flamed if she wasn't looking for work and had the nerve to take WIC.

MrsDL

tokenhoser:

PP, you may think it was bad advice, but that's really just your opinion from your perspective. You say you wouldn't consider it, but if you're this adamant about how she should have told and what a waste of resources it is to train her... I doubt that. Now she knows they would hire her - it's a non-issue. Ranting about what a bad idea it was not to point to her belly and tell at a group interview isn't really relevant.

Again, what if she's better off making some money between now and May even if it does end in being laid off? In this world, at the end of the day, you need to look out for yourself and your family first.

I bet she'd get flamed if she wasn't looking for work and had the nerve to take WIC.

The bad advice comes form perspective that she's expecting, will need time off, and the employer does not have to give it to her. Talking about it in advance was in her best interest (among being honest with a new employer). Now - what if they don't want to give her any time off - they don't have to. With about 2 months in as a new employee depending on how accrued leave works at her new place of business, she may have to either choose to quit the job or be terminated if they won't grant her an advance on paIid time. Employees do this all the time - you approve it with HR, have the employee sign a legal agreement that states that if they leave before the time is accrued (or paid back), they will repay the firm - a promisary note of sorts. However, if somebody feels you were misleading them, not only are the more likely not to go out of there way to make exceptions or help you out with this, they think much better of you as they don't feel you tried to pull one over on them. It's a harsh truth but it's the truth from an employer's perspective - not just opinion - you'd find an employer be hardpressed to say that this wouldn't tick them off. People don't make exception when they don't have to when you've ticked them off and they feel purposely misled. People do go out of there way to get a great candidate they think will stay on longish-term and contribute, and if they feel the candidate is being up-front and candid in terms of how a circumstance impacts business. It's a team player thing. If you have to replace them and you agree to it - it's much easier to make arrangements in advance. The possibility also exists to say you will higher them with a start date after their leave, so you can make internal arrangements to cover the short-term shortage in labor, and only train once after the person is able to come-on permanantly for an extended period of time.

tokenhoser

It's kind of douchey to give advice that requires a time machine.

fragglefan

Just wanted to let you guys know that I went and told my boss and HR and they said they were ok with it and that I wouldn't be the first one to get pregnant while working here.  I actually told the owner of the company and he said it wouldn't be an issue and he would talk to my manager about it.  I'm so relieved that I got this over with!!!!  And if they do turn around and let me go, well I guess there's not a whole lot I can do about it now eh

tokenhoser

fragglefan:

Just wanted to let you guys know that I went and told my boss and HR and they said they were ok with it and that I wouldn't be the first one to get pregnant while working here.  I actually told the owner of the company and he said it wouldn't be an issue and he would talk to my manager about it.  I'm so relieved that I got this over with!!!!  And if they do turn around and let me go, well I guess there's not a whole lot I can do about it now eh

Glad it went well! I'm sure you'll be feeling much less stressed.

I don't even think I replied to the OP's previous post. I just hate seeing people getting jumped all over for shiznit you can't change now. All you can do is be up front and hope for the best.

everam01

fragglefan:

Just wanted to let you guys know that I went and told my boss and HR and they said they were ok with it and that I wouldn't be the first one to get pregnant while working here.  I actually told the owner of the company and he said it wouldn't be an issue and he would talk to my manager about it.  I'm so relieved that I got this over with!!!!  And if they do turn around and let me go, well I guess there's not a whole lot I can do about it now eh

That's great.  They probably already knew and were waiting for you to come ask about it.  You did the right thing. 

My advice for people in this situation is to mention it when the job offer is made. That's when people do their negotiating.  I still maintain that it was ok not to mention it during the interview.  As an interviewer, I would never bring it up either. 

Athena0809

Wow, I didn't know it was gonna be such hot topic.

I don't know how to do that copy and paste to qoute a PP but I'd like to address

MrsDL ---> I'll have you know that the HR at my other job right now advised me to "hide" it, she said it's no one business until you are offered the position that as an interviewer you are not allowed to ask about the pregnancy and they rather not have the candidate offer the info in case they don't hire them they might come back and say "discrimination". They will not be wasting time/manpower in training me because the training it's a third party certification, they have nothing to do with it, expect for the fact that they are paying for it, and all you are requiered to it's to work for them 80 hours no matter how long it takes you to accumulate that time, because if you read my reply after a couple posts I explained the informality of this type of work.

To fraglglefan ---> good for you hun! happy to hear it went well.

To the lady that said I would also get jumped if I had the nerve to go get WIC ----> thank you! this is the reason why I'm working two jobs right now!

JUSTBEYOURSELF

I would tell them the sooner the better. congrats on the job!!! that is awesome.

JNBrickey

A lot of replies to this post are majorly eye-roll worthy.  The way you're talking to her just proves she did the right thing by not telling him during the interview.  And she pointed out that she was specifically told not to reveal any personal information during her interview.

Congratulations on your job, OP.  Just so long as you address it with them sooner rather than later now that you actually have the job, I really can't see how you've done anything wrong.  And if they don't take you back after your maternity leave, at least you've made some money in the process, right?