If I hear just push threw... One more time.

bed0909

Back story- I was sick for 9 months, on the 40 week of my pregnancy my cousin/ best friend died unexpectedly. I was inducted the day after her burial ( I am not kidding I left the burial and went to the hospital) The last six months have not been a picnic, I new right after my ds was born i wasn't right. I truly just want to take him and sit in a bubble and hide from the rest of the world. My dr and I talked and i was a different ppd. I am a nanny for my cousins children 2 day after school,I really never get dresses, like I did for my last job, and I don't go out like I used To and well big groups of people and I don't mix. I am happy being home in my pjs with my ds Here is my issues.. My family is starting to tell it my times up i need to be better and " push threw this thing.... Don't they I tried don't they think every day I tried to make my skef better but i can't - I still cry daily I still can't drive down the street the baril site is on- don't they get.. What are you doing to get threw it.. I taking meds.. I just don't know what else to do... I can't just wake up and feel better.. I pray every day that I can. Thanks if you read this...

boofadinkpapoochie

I suffered PPD in silence for a very long time with my first and for a shorter time with my second.  It is not like leg cramp that if you keep walking it will absolve it is a medical condition.  To top it off you lost your closest friend/shoulder to cry on/sounding board.  Please be kind to yourself, you are in the midst of deep grieving and adusting to motherhood with the horrible PPD cloud of sadness raining down on you.  It took me a long time to crawl out of that dark space but with medicine and support I was able to do it.  If your family is not able to provide the support you need please see a therapist, very well worth it and there are many out there that are affordable depending on your circumstances.  Secondly, please carve out a moment (an hour at a time) to do something you used to enjoy be it baths, being outside, shopping, getting your toe nails painted.  It will give you clarity of who you are and that you do still exist under the shroud and should aid you in help lift it.  PPD is not an easy road but is one that is well worn as a lot of us have been there, just know you can emerge from the other side and you are doing a great job!

 -Boof

rosesandpeonies

I also hate the push through comments.  My family thankfully has learned that it just doesn't work that way....but I have suffered from anxiety almost my entire life.  It sounds like you really want to speak to a dr. (call your obgyn).  You may need some more medication or a change in medication.  Not all meds work for everyone.

  I found this really great article...wish i could find it, that talks about ppd and anxiety and how family members and dr.'s should allow the mother's to cry and to listen to how they are feeling...and that in actuality is much better than telling them to be strong.  Mother's that suffer from these things need to get it out and that is better than most things.

I also wonder if you have some post traumatic stress from the loss of your cousin (I am so incredibly sorry), and going through birth at the same time.  That is a lot of stress at one time. 

You have a lot on your plate.  It is okay to cry, I promise, and it is also okay...that you are NOT ok and you are sad.  Call your dr....I really think a change in meds might help you some, and you may need to go for some counseling.  Do you have a friend that might have an understanding ear?  If so...try and talk to them and cry and get it out!  You might feel somewhat better.