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Multiples
in shock
So I am guessing I am just in shock and I know I am scared to death but I found out Saturday that I am pregnant with twins and I just started crying. I just keep thinking I am going to fail. How am I going to do this? I have a daughter who will be 3 the same month as my due date but I just keep thinking she still loves to be carried and loves to ride in a stroller. How will I manage with 2 more when I only have 2 hands?? I know there has to be a way but I am scared!! My daughter was a preemie and has always been the little princess and now I am scared I cannot do this....
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Re: in shock
I think everyone is in shock when they find out they are going to have twins/more. I know I was...even though I knew there was a chance due to my family history (5 generations on my mom's side/4 generations on my dad's side). You will learn to cope with this big change in your life.
As for your little girl, I also will have a daughter who will be 3 years old about the same time I deliver. I also have a 5 year old little girl. However, you will learn to include her in the big event and make her feel like she is a part this great time. She will eventually love having siblings, even if she is jealous at first.
I was 3 years old too when my mom had my bro/sis whom are twins. I also was an only child and the center of everyone's attention, but my mom told me I LOVED having these two live babies to look at and play with. I'm sure everything will work out in the end. You just need to give her attention when you can and make sure you tell her how much you love her...even with these two babies growing inside you. Good Luck!!
This is so true for me as well.
I knew 2 things when I found out it was twins, and only 2 things. 1) I needed new day care, and 2) I needed a new car to fit 3 car seats. It took me all 9 months to warm up to it, as I had only ever wanted 2 kids. I wouldn't change it, now. Last year at this time? I was still relatively unhappy about it.
Where in Baltimore are you located? I'm from MD, too. You have some time to plan. For now, just take a deep breath and know that you're not a horrible person for being upset.
Deep breath. I found out about the twins a few weeks into my new career ...
I didn't even have the results of my boards yet. I had a big new, challenging job and wasn't even entitled to maternity leave. I had just come to terms with the timing of my pregnancy -- that is, an easy pregnancy. After all, my mom had me and went back to work a few weeks later and still managed to be an amazing mother! But then the u/s tech saw a second heartbeat.
In the 22 weeks since we found out, things have started to come together. They will for you too.
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
You didn't ruin it. Far from it, actually. Yes, she'll have to adjust when they come home and it may not be pretty. But you gave her a huge gift. When you're long gone, she'll have her siblings.
totally normal feelings
congrats! welcome to the 1+twins club. My son was 2y2mo when the twins were born. It has by no means been easy - but it's totally doable and wonderful. You won't get it until they are here - you'll cry your eyes out thinking about how the twins will ruin her life, etc... just like I did - and then you'll see later after they are born how much she loves them and that they are the best gift you can give her- siblings to love and love her.
Valco trimode twin + toddler seat... best stroller ever for 1+twin moms, though your daughter might not want to ride by then - and getting any double + a hitch hiker board would be a wise thing to do - my almost 4y/o loves riding on the board now - he hasn't been in a stroller in a LOOONG time. Once turning 3 strollers aren't used very much.
you'll do fine!
What you are feeling is completely normal. I was not thrilled when I found out we were having twins, it was all I could do to keep from crying until we left the doctors office. As soon as I got in the car I started bawling, I did not want twins. But, I luckily 9 months to warm up to the idea and now I cannot imagine my life without them, they are amazing little people.
My DD turned 3, 3 months after our twins were born and she has been so amazing with them. She loves them so much and is a huge help to me. Sure, there are times that she gets jealous but for the most part she just loves being a big sister.
You will be fine, you have a long time to get used to the idea and things will work out.
The shock is perfectly normal. The crying is perfectly normal. I had the same reaction. I was super embarrassed that I was sobbing in the u/s room. But I quickly learned I wasn't the first.
You CAN do it and you'll be great! Get Dr Luke's book- When You're Expecting Twins, Trip, etc... it will be a different pregnancy than with your daughter. Lots of women on here had a toddler then twins- they will be a great resource!!!
First off, congratulations! Second, yes it is a huge shock to find out you're having twins. We have 4 plus twins and we were soooo done after #4 so DH got a vasectomy and surprise! 7 months later when our youngest DS was almost 9 months old we found out we were pregnant with twins. It was a huge shock and I felt so bad because I felt like I wasn't going to have any time for my other kids if I was trying to take care of two babies. Life is certainly busy but you make time for all of your children.
Your DD is going to be over the moon in love with these babies, my 4 year old DD absolutely adores "her" babies.
Pretty soon the news will settle in and you will be so excited for these sweet babies to come.
There are more than a handful of us on the board with a toddler+twins. First, congratulations on your twins and welcome to the club!
I could ramble on and on but, first things first. It's very important that you take your DD 1 and get her into a full time Mother's Day Out or part time preschool. It's important for her socialization and down the line, your sanity. Do this now and don't wait.
As you get further along in your pregnancy we can talk about the next steps and the things you should vs the things you do worry about.
Your feelings are very natural...all of us went through what you are right now. It's so scary but, as with everything else in life, you'll get through it and come out a very happy lady in the end.
Please keep us posted on your progress. We are here for you...it'll be more than okay!!! : )
It is definitely a shock to the system to find out you are having twins and I can't even begin to imagine what it feels like to find out it's twins when you already have a young child.
Whenever you start to doubt yourself, just remember that God will not give you more than you can handle. He would only bless you with multiples if He knew you would be a fabulous mother to them.
During this journey i always joked i was gonna have twins...never thought it was actually going to happen..he*l i didnt think id ever have another baby, nevermind 2 at once! I found out at 5w2d there were 2 sacs and we put in 4 embryos, i also had high betas so it shouldnt have shocked me. Well 10 weeks later i look at my belly and STILL cant believe it!!
I have a 3 y.o - who will be just shy of 4 when these babes are born. I also have the fears of "turning his life upside down"..and i am, but in a good way! I would much rather have him have siblings then be an only child. Going through the IVF's again was primarily FOR my son. SO,yes, he'll have to adjust but like others said think of the baies as a "gift" (which they are).
It takes time to get used to it all..im still not used to it...but im starting to get more excited (and so is my son). Include your daughter in the process that has totally helped my son (and me) and he even named them "Dora and Boots".
I also and putting him into pre-school in Sept - babies will be only 6ish weeks when he goes but, i know im going to want to spend QT with the twins like i did with him when he was a babe.
GL and Congratulations.
I have no experience with having another child and twins, but I wanted to say welcome.
You will get over the shock of it all, trust me. I almost fell of the u/s table when they told me it was twins. You will be able to do this. Breath and enjoy your pregnancy.
I felt this way with my DS, I knew I wouldn't be able to spend as much time with him or he and I wouldn't be as close as we were. And that was true at first, DS and DH got really close and they were able to bond while I took care of the twins. But now that the twins are a little more self sufficient DS and I have been able to spend more time together. DS also loves "his babies" (that's what he calls them) and no matter what the twins are doing he is always playing with them and talking to them. It was an adjustment though but I think we are all doing really, really well now!
GL, and congratulations! (use this board to voice any concerns or feelings, this board is very good and compassionate with almost everything)