Should I make more of an effort? (Travel related)

aabreu32

DD is almost 5 months old.  We live in NJ and the bulk of my family lives in SW PA - so at least a 5 hour car ride away.  As a rule, I avoid planes (panic attacks) and the train is over 8 hours so no improvement over the car.

My parents have been out to NJ twice to see DD - once right after birth and then over Thanksgiving.  I decided I was going to try to make the trip out to PA for Easter (DD will be almost 7 months) but my parents have volunteered to drive to NJ instead.  The downside, by grandmother has not yet seen DD and is too frail to travel.  I hate the thought of trying a 5 hour car trip with DD.  We sometimes can barely make it to the pediatrician's office that is 15 minutes away.  I keep promising to get out (Thanksgiving, X-mas, Easter) and now I feel like I am backing out again with a promise to try for Fourth of July.      Is it wrong for me to just agree to allow my parents to travel and not make the effort to see grandmother? 

pepomntpat

I don't think it is necessarily wrong. However, what is keeping you from trying it?  Don't expect to get there in five hours. Relax and stop when you need to. That is one major advantage to car travel. You are in control.

We travel with DD pretty regularly and she does melt down sometimes, but not more often than she does at home.  I'm a big advocate of doing what you normally do with some modifications to bring LO along as often as possible.  It is working pretty well for us.

pazrana

I would try to get down there.  We live on the East Coast and DH's family is in the midwest (including his grandparents) we went out to visit over Thanksgiving, and will probably go back over the Summer.  Granted his parents have been out here a lot more than we've been there, but to see his gparents and sister we have to go, so we do.  

 

Laura_Lee

I'm going to try to avoid sounding like a jerk, but here's fair warning that I might not meet my goal.

I think you're being very selfish to not yet have made a trip to see your family.  5 hours is not that long.  You can stop every hour if you want to for 10-15 minutes to take your baby out of the carseat.  Very likely, she'll fall asleep within the first hour if there aren't a lot of traffic lights on the way.  Honestly, "hating the thought of trying a 5 hour car trip" sounds incredibly ridiculous to me.  I've had my LO on 5 hour flights several times now, and he's never been thrilled about it.  But guess what - we do it, because otherwise my family would never see him.  We're planning a 20 hr car trip in 2 months.  It's going to suck, and I know that going into it, but it's always wonderful to see my whole family together at one time when we get there. 

My advice is to tell yourself that for 5 hours of having a *possibly* cranky baby in the back seat, you'll be able to have many irreplaceable memories with your grandmother and other family.  

Kate621

My parents live 6 hours from us. We make the trip from time to time because its important to me for them to see ds in person (rather than just on skpe). I would make the trip. Especially if your grandmother won't be able to come to you. I bet your dd will suprise you with how well she will do. Pack lots of toys and snacks. She'll probably sleep a lot of the way.

irishcase

I have found that the thought of traveling with an infant is much scarier than actually traveling with an infant.

I live in the midwest and my parents and brother live on the East Coast...My brother has special needs and had some health issues going on so I got on a plane with her by myself when she was 3 mo old.  We had a layover so it was basically a full day of travel each way and I terrified but the thought of my brother not getting to meet his neice was made me do it.

 Car driving is not bad- you can stop whenever you need to.  My in laws live 3.5 hours away and we've done the trip with DD twice and it's been fine.  She usually sleeps the whole time.

ktdid235

We've made the 4 hour drive to North Jersey numerous times and have never had any disasters.  I try to time our departure with nap time and she usually sleeps a good portion of the trip.  This last time we went, she started crying so we pulled over and I got in the back seat and gave her a bit of a bottle.  She quieted down and we were on our way. 

I would think the idea of your grandmother not getting to meet your LO would be much scarier than traveling with a baby.

drewiekc

Yes, you need to make more of an effort.  Like the others have said, traveling with a baby is really not that bad.  Sure, it's not as easy as taking a car trip with just the two of you.  But it's certainly nothing that should warrant you keeping your grandma from getting to see your baby.

JoannaJes

I think it depends on your baby. DS was a great traveler...when he was 4 months old we took him on a week-long road trip to Montana and back. He did great.

DD is another story...her reflux makes sitting in her carseat for long periods of times difficult. We actually missed DH's great-grandmother's 99th birthday last week (she has yet to meet DD), because I was not going to take DD on the 4 hour trip to get there.

I'm not going to make my child scream to the point of choking all in an effort to appease family members. And we can't continously stop the car with two kids...DS wouldn't be too pleased if a 4 hour trip turned into an 8 hour trip.

If your problem with travel is that it makes you anxious, then yes, I would make the trip. Your LO would probably be just fine.

"Our greatest fear lies in anticipation". - Balzac

tmac1022

like the pp have said, she more than likely will sleep most of the way and be fine. When we go on day trips to visit dh, who works 2 hrs away i always feed her right before we leave so she has a full belly and she'll get sleepy. 

I think the longer you procrastinate on taking her for long car rides the worse off you'll be that she won't be used to it and really will give you a hard time when she's older.

Good luck, I hope you do make the trip. Having your grandmother meet her will be worth the headache (or no headache, you never know until you try!)