can I please vent?

solsburyhill

faithhopeinlove:

oh and to address the feeling special part.. I know I had months to myself, but this was something I had been absolutely waiting for and couldn't wait to share my excitement and anticipation and she knew this... I didn't expect her to get pregnant before her wedding, let alone only a few weeks after myself. I don't mind sharing pregnancy with others and there are actually 2 others at my church and 2 of my husband's coworkers are due the same month, but it was just how the whole situation ended up that I'm a little disgruntled by it. I even know another friend that is due the same week as me and I'm genuinely excited for her. I think it's almost time for me to start parting my ways, but still be supportive from a distance.

Wow, that's very big of you to be genuinely excited for your friend that's due the same week. 

I still don't get how her "knowing" you'd been waiting to get pregnant and were so excited to share the news is a reason for her to wait to get pregnant herself.  If she wanted to get pregnant before her wedding, that is her business.  Maybe the pregnancy wasn't planned, who knows.

faithhopeinlove

TheFannins729:

i think it's strange that you are so upset by all of this.  if i got upset over my friends that were engaged, got married and had babies the same time as me, i wouldn't have any friends.  just stop for a minute and think things through.  your babies are going to be really close in age and it's really AMAZING to have a friend going through the same thing you are. 

Yes, I am upset by this and personally, I do have a right to be I have plenty of other friends that are pregnant/newlyweds/just had babies and I was not upset in the least by any of it... It's to the point where we are two different people (always have been), but I cannot get past a lot of the things that are bothering me about her in general. (I would not have gone out and made friends with her in high school.. we only started hanging out because our bfs were roommates and we'd do a lot of double dates) I am actually in support of them and their marriage and a baby, but I was just initially upset about all of the hoopla and I needed to get my frustration out. I wasn't expecting to be told (in a nutshell) that I should just get over it. If you don't like that I'm upset, don't respond. I will do what I have to in order to be happy on my own and I do wish her well with her family. 

faithhopeinlove

solsburyhill:

faithhopeinlove:

oh and to address the feeling special part.. I know I had months to myself, but this was something I had been absolutely waiting for and couldn't wait to share my excitement and anticipation and she knew this... I didn't expect her to get pregnant before her wedding, let alone only a few weeks after myself. I don't mind sharing pregnancy with others and there are actually 2 others at my church and 2 of my husband's coworkers are due the same month, but it was just how the whole situation ended up that I'm a little disgruntled by it. I even know another friend that is due the same week as me and I'm genuinely excited for her. I think it's almost time for me to start parting my ways, but still be supportive from a distance.

Wow, that's very big of you to be genuinely excited for your friend that's due the same week. 

I still don't get how her "knowing" you'd been waiting to get pregnant and were so excited to share the news is a reason for her to wait to get pregnant herself.  If she wanted to get pregnant before her wedding, that is her business.  Maybe the pregnancy wasn't planned, who knows.

She didn't necessarily have any guidelines to wait at all, and I don't think that, I was just frustrated about what has happened in the past few months and I have now realized that we are two very different people. I feel happy for her and I wish her the best of luck in whatever she does in her life, but I was frustrated at first because she has said many things to me that strike me funny and have made me look at her a little sideways. It is her business when she wants to get pregnant, but there were numerous occasions where she would tell me one thing and then change everything and she is a very big attention seeker, which I will admit, bothers me about people. Throughout my engagement/wedding/pregnancy, I have stayed pretty low key as to not bring any attention on myself and it's just a character flaw that I get annoyed by other people that are spotlight seekers.. it's just a personal thing. 

camedowncrushing

natkay02:

Hmm.

I met my best friend in college. She introduced me to my now-husband about a year before I introduced her to her now-husband. A year after we all graduated college, they got engaged and MH popped the question only two months after. The following year, she got married in July and I got married in August. Then in the fall of 2010 we both started TTC, she got pregnant first, and my due date is 8 weeks behind hers.

I can't help but think these sound similar, besides the whole marraige/living with parents part. But I can say with complete 100% honesty that I did not get engaged, married, or pregnant to steal her spotlight. We both had graduated college, had full time jobs, and were in stable relationships and this was just the timing of things.

Have you considered that maybe she feels like she never got to be special? That she is frustrated that at the point in her life she was ready to get married that you beat her to it? (BTW, I don't think my friend or I ever felt like one was trying to steal the spotlight. We both got our seperate showers, bachelorette parties, and weddings.) So maybe she is the attention-whoring friend you are portraying her as, and if so, I'd slowly cut ties with her. I just wanted to maybe offer a different perspective. 

Good luck!

This exactly.  My best friend and I married cousins...our weddings were 8 months apart.  A year later we closed on our first homes two DAYS apart.  Now several years later we are both pregnant.  We love that we get to go through all of these experiences together.  Never once have I ever been jealous of her. 

faithhopeinlove

camedowncrushing:

natkay02:

Hmm.

I met my best friend in college. She introduced me to my now-husband about a year before I introduced her to her now-husband. A year after we all graduated college, they got engaged and MH popped the question only two months after. The following year, she got married in July and I got married in August. Then in the fall of 2010 we both started TTC, she got pregnant first, and my due date is 8 weeks behind hers.

I can't help but think these sound similar, besides the whole marraige/living with parents part. But I can say with complete 100% honesty that I did not get engaged, married, or pregnant to steal her spotlight. We both had graduated college, had full time jobs, and were in stable relationships and this was just the timing of things.

Have you considered that maybe she feels like she never got to be special? That she is frustrated that at the point in her life she was ready to get married that you beat her to it? (BTW, I don't think my friend or I ever felt like one was trying to steal the spotlight. We both got our seperate showers, bachelorette parties, and weddings.) So maybe she is the attention-whoring friend you are portraying her as, and if so, I'd slowly cut ties with her. I just wanted to maybe offer a different perspective. 

Good luck!

This exactly.  My best friend and I married cousins...our weddings were 8 months apart.  A year later we closed on our first homes two DAYS apart.  Now several years later we are both pregnant.  We love that we get to go through all of these experiences together.  Never once have I ever been jealous of her. 

That's a pretty neat story. There are a couple others that I am more than excited to experience pregnancy and engagement with, but it's been a time of realization for me. For the time being, we may have to just be civil and supportive for each other for now while I cool down and get past my slight disagreements between her and I. I understand that sometimes timelines do overlap and that's okay with me, it boiled down to me having a personal issue with the girl that I'm just not ready to confront yet.