Is it tacky to ask for clothes back?

Richardsmom_817

A friend of mine had her 2nd boy last year, but a different season than her 1st boy, so I gave her all of my sons clothes (they had been piling up for a few years), so I gave her A TON!  Well, she is having another baby (a girl) & asked if I had anything to pass to her, but I don't, I've been passing it all to 2 other friends who had girls last year.  Soooo...I just found out another good friend of mine is having her 1st boy & has nothing.....a little while back, the girl who I had given all my boy stuff asked if I was going to want anything because she wanted to pass them to someone else, so would it be rude of me to say yeah, I do want the boy stuff back for this other friend....she would probably think oh, she couldn't get her girl stuff back to give to me from her friends, but she can ask me for her boy stuff back to give to this other friend?  Follow?  I know it sounds confusing.

belle204

I wouldn't but that's just me. Once I give something to someone (unless it's a big ticket item with an understanding that it will come back to me), that's that. I would be more inclined to just buy my friend stuff she needs or give her gift cards to pick her own stuff.

Rebekah1021

Well, she did ask if you wanted it back right? If that is truly the case then no, get them back.

grja

Maybe you can say something casual like "hey, did you ever pass those clothes along? My friend is having a boy and if you didn't give them away to anyone I'd love to let so-and-so get some use out of them, she could really use it"

ak1234

 If *I* were having a boy, I would ask for the clothes, but I wouldn't ask for them back to give to another friend, especially since you have passed the clothes she gave you to other people (if I read your post correctly). 

jlw2505

I personally don't think I would ask for it back as after being through a few kids, it might not be in the best condition.  Since she did offer to give it back to you, I would simply say that yes, you would like the stuff back and leave it at that.  No need to go into explanation of why.

JOEBunny

I tell people who give me clothes that if they want them back, not to lend them to me.  I either donate them to DD's school who sells them to raise money or donates them to the women's shelter, give them to other friends, or donate them to someone in need.  If you want it back, don't lend it is my motto, and I do make it clear before I take the items.  It is just too hard to keep track.

dnagal

Consider your own sanity.  If you ask for them back and she says she's donated them, whatever, you'll be annoyed.  If you ask for them back and get some back and they're trashed, you'll be upset.  

There's no happy ending here, so just let them go....

 

Cbidt's girl

I think you need to make it clear at the outset. How would she even know which stuff was yours? Is it clearly labeled? I've given clothes to good friends and said, I'll want this back for my sister who is pg- but my friend knew it when I lent it and did the same with me.

stacynikki

I wouldn't ask for them back.  Then again, I wouldn't want to use clothes that have been used by two different kids from two different families.  Maybe that sounds snobbish but I'm being honest.

Zenya

stacynikki:

I wouldn't ask for them back.  Then again, I wouldn't want to use clothes that have been used by two different kids from two different families.  Maybe that sounds snobbish but I'm being honest.

I agree.  I would just let it go. 

MrsHadley

When I give or take clothes to/from people I ask then, "do you want this back" or tell them I don't want this back.  Honestly I won't take kids clothes from people who want them back, it's just too much to keep track of.  I will borrow costumes or fancy clothes for an occassion, and return them, but only if I can keep track of it.

I think unless you said up front I want these back, you gave them like a gift.  However, I think you could say "I have a friend who could use the boy clothes, if you want a good home to donate to." or something along those lines.

UGAbride

I would have made it clear from the start that I wanted them back.  I do this with my neighbor, her little boy is right behind DS #2 in sizes, so as he outgrows things in his current size I box them up and walk them over to her.  So she gets boxes several times a year!  That said, I also told her that I completely understand that kids are messy (particularly since we are talking about boys), so not to worry if something got stained or torn.  I'm just having a hard time being "done" with the boys clothes, so it somehow makes me feel better to know I can have it back, haha   Plus it's easier on her to not have to store it all!  I pass the high quality, good condition stuff around lots...particular something like button-down/sweater combo's, nicer outfits that barely get worn - several little boys can wear the same Easter outfit with absolutely no wear on them.

SuperCuteBenz

I lent about 4 rubbermaid tubs of DD's outgrown stuff to my cousin and his wife. I kept all the stuff that I really wanted to keep though. I told her that I would take them back when she was done. We aren't sure if we are having a third baby or not, but I figured that I could take them to the consignment here if we don't.

I know that I will get them back, because she lent her boy clothes to a friend that didn't return them and she was ticked.